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Community > Posts By > lov3purpl3
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Topic:
My needs unanswered....
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And as far as feeling sorry, I feel sorry for people who are atracted to azz holes who treat them without respect and then call those "men", strong.
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Topic:
My needs unanswered....
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Well, Newbiechicks reaction says a lot: you made her feel guilty. You victimize yourself (being ignored, cast off, abused not appreciated, not valuable and so on). Someone who victimizes himself is not attractive. Someone who does that, still has issues to sort out and I take it ppl sense that. If you'd truly feel good about yourself, truly was happy with who you are, you wouldn't victimize yourself and you'd present your story in a totally different way. Ppl that try to make us feel guilty or sorry for them, are not the ppl we seek out to be with as they simply don't make us happy, they make us feel miserable and no one wants to be made to feel miserable. It's positive ppl that attract other people. You also seem to mix up a few things. What you call needs of the flesh from the heart, is what I understand to be making love. Meaning you'll have to find that special person first. Like thousands of us. So no need to feel sorry for yourself, you're not special for not getting that. There's thousands and thousands of others not getting that either. Kinda logical if you're single. First you make this distinction that it's more than just sex, but in the last paragraph you compare it with sex. Make up your mind! I would say: stop feeling sorry for yourself. Try to feel happy even though you're on your own. Meaning you'll have to sort out whatever is stopping you from being happy. Stop trying to make other ppl responsible (by making them feel guilty) for you happiness. It's not attractive nor appealing. I got this charm saying: May you know that if you truly want to be happy, nobody can stop you! Wow. Umm, you have missed the point. I am not weak or negative. A bit missunderstood, and as stated, trying to gain insight. I am completely confident in myself and my life. I merely wrote the concerns the were a baffle to me, and you all attempt to pick it apart? Read it again for what it is, what it asks. Dissecting what I said and analyzing it.... I think newbiechick got the simplicty of what I was saying and ther rest of you react the way I would expect. Like there is something wrongwith how I convey my thoughts and feelings. You automatically assume that I am insecure. How wrong you are, and how wasted my words have been. |
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Topic:
My needs unanswered....
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I am writing this to possibly gain new insight.
I am a man who is unfulfilled. I have needs as others also have their own. Why are my needs ignored, and cast off as if they are not as valuable as another? Ignored, I feel. Ridiculed by some, and a joke to others. Why? It is because I seek physical contact. Some would think I seek it for reasons of the flesh, while others think I have alterior motives. I have a heart people. My heart just happens to need physical contact. The ability to share what my body, mind, and spirit have to offer, and to have that be actually wanted by a woman. When a person speaks of physical contact, the general idea comes to mind of plain old sex. You all just dont get it. There is more to it for me. I need to be accepted, as everyone needs to be accepted. Need to be wanted and desired. Not just in the flesh, but to contact another through spirit, mind, and body. So I am left with a dilema. My needs go unanswered. I am viewed as fake or shallow. I can not share the true intricacies here in the open, as some would find it offensive. It is funny. When a woman needs of the flesh, she is called a horrid name, yet men still come to answer her call. When a man has needs the same, he is avoided like the plague, and most ignore him. I am not afraid of who I am. I have nothing to hide. I have much to offer, but no one will take notice. And those that do, are just a tease, dragging things along making me feel abused and unappreciated. Time goes by, life moves on, but im still here. Surrounded by friends and family, my soul is still alone. |
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Topic:
3 day rule
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Most of the "unwritten" rules are on a case by case basis.
I tend to just do what I feel. If I feel a need to wait, then I wait. If I get the urge to dive right in, then so be it. Most of the time, I just go with the flow. If it feels right, go with it. |
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It is a totally bulllschittt and worthless question. Show me the man who says he hasn't lied in 10 years...and I will point to him and show you one lying s.o.b. Truly weak Weak is not being comfortable enough with who you are to tell it like it is. A real man doesn't lie. He has no need to. So it is to be assumed that lieing is ok? Acceptable? So we are to teach our children to lie? To be fake? I do not accept that, and am insulted at the audacity of such. A douche lies because he/she is afraid of the consequences. It takes cast iron balls to tell the truth, no mater what the question, or whom you are speaking with. |
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Topic:
Do Men Pull Their Weight
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Pull my weight?!? Seriously?
I do everything I can. I cook, clean, pick up kids drop them off, go to their games, fix cars, build room on to the house, repair plumbing, patch roof, mow lawn, water lawn, get grocieries, pay the bills, and have a full time job. Somehow, I still find the time to just chill on the couch. Why shouldn't a man have the world on his shoulders? I can cook as well as any woman, and better than some. I can fix damn near anything, with my own 2 hands. This whole gender questioning has gone too far in recent times. Reality. We should ALWAYS be focused on working together. It is like a mutual support. I help the woman and she repays my good deeds with love, affection, appreciation, and respect. Which hapoens to be the 4 most important things a man needs from a woman. |
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Thank you for the responses guys. I agree that it wouldn't be fair if I jumped straight into another long term relationship with the first girl I met, and I don't intend to do that either. But you're dead right about being alone; I think that needs some getting used to. I hope to find someone to fill that gap at least, even just with friendship or a non serious agreement. We all have needs to fulfil, right? If I were to meet a girl I'd be sure to state my intentions before continuing just so she was clear about my situation. I just didn't want to be dishonest and 'cheat' before the divorce actually went through as I wasn't sure if it was fair game or not. This probably sounds really clich�, but I think I'll probably focus on my career for a while before getting back into any kind of serious relationship; that's not to say I'll just shut all women out, though. From experience, take the time to get reaquainted with who you are. Once you find yoursekf again, you will be in a position mentally, to support a new love life. Good luck, my friend. I wish you the best. See you on the other side |
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Topic:
hi
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Please, this is only advice and not meant to insult.
First of all, change your profile picture to a more reserved image. Presenting yourself as if yoir unzipping your top, to show off, tends 5o attract the wrong guy as it sends the wrong information. Us guys are VERY visually stimulated. A descreet, more reserved picture, will tell men that your a serious individual, not in to toying with emotions. Then get out there and converse with guys on an intellectual level. Get to know people. Make friends. Always take time to regroup within yourself, to stay focussed on what you want. BTW, your very beautiful, and any guy you find is lucky as yell to know you. Good luck in your search. :-) |
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It is different for each individual. I, durring my divorce, didn't look. I know how it feels to be alone, and the divorce process sucks. It is jice to hafe someone on your side, and by your side. My caution to you is this, dont let the next girl you find just be a filler for an empty spot. It would not be fair to either you or them if they are the rebound girl. I do suggest that you speak openly, about your divorce, leaving the vulgarities and obcenities out, to all who ask you. You will find that many people have been through it, and often offer good advice, as well as mental support. Wonderful, supportive, women will be there when you need them. Just dont allow any possible new partner, to take part in any decision or choice throughout the divorce process. They can be supportive, but its your task to complete. Besides, if they feel that they have a part in it, you may resent them down the road, for their involvement. Divorce can be NASTY, or it can go smoothly. Choice is yours. I thoroughly agree with this. Sound advice. Thank-you! |
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Topic:
love
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That is because, to truely love anyone, you must first be able to be their friend.
Love is a 4 letter word for some. It brings pain and frustration. For others, it is wonderful, bringing joy and happiness. Love is not taken and no one can be made to love. It must be earned. It is never earned easily. It takes a great deal of comitment and devotion. Friendship is easy. That is because most often, your friends do jot bear their hearts out in the open. No one holds a grudge for you because, to be your friend they accept you for who you are and whst you do reguardless. Choose your friends wisely. Love completely, yourself. The rest will fall into place. |
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It is different for each individual. I, durring my divorce, didn't look. I know how it feels to be alone, and the divorce process sucks. It is jice to hafe someone on your side, and by your side.
My caution to you is this, dont let the next girl you find just be a filler for an empty spot. It would not be fair to either you or them if they are the rebound girl. I do suggest that you speak openly, about your divorce, leaving the vulgarities and obcenities out, to all who ask you. You will find that many people have been through it, and often offer good advice, as well as mental support. Wonderful, supportive, women will be there when you need them. Just dont allow any possible new partner, to take part in any decision or choice throughout the divorce process. They can be supportive, but its your task to complete. Besides, if they feel that they have a part in it, you may resent them down the road, for their involvement. Divorce can be NASTY, or it can go smoothly. Choice is yours. |
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Topic:
Concert!
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Im good with the concerts. Once in a while I get the chance to get out. A good concert is enough for me.
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Topic:
when does the sex die?
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Your children should NEVER be a reason or excuse to loose passion. If anything it should reinforce and renew that passion and zeal for life. I love my kids! I am a happier man because of them.
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I can say I have. The last 10 years of my marriage, though it did me no good.
I found that there is no real reason to lie. Lieing only developes into animosity and resent. Two of the worst things to have in a relationship. I spent 10 years telling my ex, absolutely everything I did, everywhere I went, every dime I spent. In the end, I was still accused of cheating, hiding money, and doing things behind her back. It got so bad that my own children started defending me. I mean, they were always with me, so why wouldnt they defend their dad? Then I was accused of "brain washing my children", and "teaching them to lie to their mother". I admit that early on, durring the 1st 2 years, I lied adout stupid ****. Looking back, I never had a reason to lie. Not a good one anyhow. I have nothing to be afraid of. So I stopped. I still maintain a lie-less life. The trouble of lieing is a wadte of my time and just gets me nowhere. If you ask, I tell the truth. If you dont like my answer, too bad, then you shouldnt have asked in the first place. I just dont lie. Its not worth it. Some of you may think that is a dumb way to be, but im happy with who I am. I have nothing to hide. |
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Topic:
when does the sex die?
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Sex die? Good heavens, I hope it never dies.
Passion is something that can be renewed every day. I like to look at things from a different angle when life gets me frustrared. It renews my outlook. Having and receiving passion from your partner works much in the same way. It takes staying on your toes, and appreciating everything your partner and you do together. All of it. From just watching TV, to the deep passion of love that takes place behind closed doors. If you maintain your appreciation for all that they are and do, your passion for them will stay fresh. Remembering that you are two different people, accepting those differences, and actually embracing those differences is what the passion for each other is all about. Love them for who and what they are. Not who or what they could be. |
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Topic:
Concert!
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So I went to my second concert with a friend last night. My first was in 95.
It was AWESOME! Saw the "Lumineers" at the Comerica Theater. Great music. Great time. Was up till 1:30am, and still have the songs stuck in my head...lol. Was well worth being like a tired zombie today. |
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Topic:
I need help
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Thank GOD I am fixed! No need to worry now.
I suggest you be supoortive. The best thing you can do is to acknowledge that you could, indeed be the father. If she is truly pregnant, have a paternity test when the baby is born. If its yours, welcome to geing a daddy. If not, the choice is up to you if you decide to stay. |
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Topic:
WHAT TURNS ME OFF.
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What trurns me off, is a woman who doesn't care for herself. A woman who complains but never does anything to solve the problems that reside in front of her.
What irritates me is guys who think women should just throw themselves at them. No one is Gods gift to women. Its not even funny as a joke. It just reinforces the stereotypical man idea that has been created over the years, and makes men look like a neanderthals. |
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Topic:
Why ...
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To each their own. We all get a little stupid at times. Hell, I was stupid for 10 years. Then I got a divorce.
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Topic:
New to Arizona
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Get your tongue back in yer mouth..., sheesh, its not that hot out here in AZ. Oh wait, yeah it is.
Sorry, had to razz ya. Welcome. |
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