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| Topic: whens it ok to start seeing other people? | |
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Hi,
My wife and I are recently separated. That means we are still legally married until the divorce goes through. I just thought I'd open it up to the floor and ask; At what point can I begin seeing new people again? Or is it the norm to be waiting until the divorce fully goes through? Thanks, |
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I don't think theres a norm, different people do different things. Myself I wait awhile to regroup, focus, and get my mind right. Godd luck to you whatever you choose.
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It is different for each individual. I, durring my divorce, didn't look. I know how it feels to be alone, and the divorce process sucks. It is jice to hafe someone on your side, and by your side.
My caution to you is this, dont let the next girl you find just be a filler for an empty spot. It would not be fair to either you or them if they are the rebound girl. I do suggest that you speak openly, about your divorce, leaving the vulgarities and obcenities out, to all who ask you. You will find that many people have been through it, and often offer good advice, as well as mental support. Wonderful, supportive, women will be there when you need them. Just dont allow any possible new partner, to take part in any decision or choice throughout the divorce process. They can be supportive, but its your task to complete. Besides, if they feel that they have a part in it, you may resent them down the road, for their involvement. Divorce can be NASTY, or it can go smoothly. Choice is yours. |
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Rich and funnY
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It is different for each individual. I, durring my divorce, didn't look. I know how it feels to be alone, and the divorce process sucks. It is jice to hafe someone on your side, and by your side. My caution to you is this, dont let the next girl you find just be a filler for an empty spot. It would not be fair to either you or them if they are the rebound girl. I do suggest that you speak openly, about your divorce, leaving the vulgarities and obcenities out, to all who ask you. You will find that many people have been through it, and often offer good advice, as well as mental support. Wonderful, supportive, women will be there when you need them. Just dont allow any possible new partner, to take part in any decision or choice throughout the divorce process. They can be supportive, but its your task to complete. Besides, if they feel that they have a part in it, you may resent them down the road, for their involvement. Divorce can be NASTY, or it can go smoothly. Choice is yours. I thoroughly agree with this. Sound advice. |
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It is different for each individual. I, durring my divorce, didn't look. I know how it feels to be alone, and the divorce process sucks. It is jice to hafe someone on your side, and by your side. My caution to you is this, dont let the next girl you find just be a filler for an empty spot. It would not be fair to either you or them if they are the rebound girl. I do suggest that you speak openly, about your divorce, leaving the vulgarities and obcenities out, to all who ask you. You will find that many people have been through it, and often offer good advice, as well as mental support. Wonderful, supportive, women will be there when you need them. Just dont allow any possible new partner, to take part in any decision or choice throughout the divorce process. They can be supportive, but its your task to complete. Besides, if they feel that they have a part in it, you may resent them down the road, for their involvement. Divorce can be NASTY, or it can go smoothly. Choice is yours. I thoroughly agree with this. Sound advice. Thank-you! |
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Thank you for the responses guys. I agree that it wouldn't be fair if I jumped straight into another long term relationship with the first girl I met, and I don't intend to do that either. But you're dead right about being alone; I think that needs some getting used to. I hope to find someone to fill that gap at least, even just with friendship or a non serious agreement.
We all have needs to fulfil, right? If I were to meet a girl I'd be sure to state my intentions before continuing just so she was clear about my situation. I just didn't want to be dishonest and 'cheat' before the divorce actually went through as I wasn't sure if it was fair game or not. This probably sounds really clich�, but I think I'll probably focus on my career for a while before getting back into any kind of serious relationship; that's not to say I'll just shut all women out, though. |
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Thank you for the responses guys. I agree that it wouldn't be fair if I jumped straight into another long term relationship with the first girl I met, and I don't intend to do that either. But you're dead right about being alone; I think that needs some getting used to. I hope to find someone to fill that gap at least, even just with friendship or a non serious agreement. We all have needs to fulfil, right? If I were to meet a girl I'd be sure to state my intentions before continuing just so she was clear about my situation. I just didn't want to be dishonest and 'cheat' before the divorce actually went through as I wasn't sure if it was fair game or not. This probably sounds really clich�, but I think I'll probably focus on my career for a while before getting back into any kind of serious relationship; that's not to say I'll just shut all women out, though. From experience, take the time to get reaquainted with who you are. Once you find yoursekf again, you will be in a position mentally, to support a new love life. Good luck, my friend. I wish you the best. See you on the other side |
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I kind of started dating right away. I couldn't have gotten into too serious of a relationship right away, but I needed to find some form of companionship. Like some others of said, its different for everyone and each individual situation unique. Whatever you do you must do for yourself, what you feel you need most. Whether you decide to date right away or wait, the choice must be for you and you can not worry about what others and what she might think.
And remember, separated is different then married. Thats why it has its own category on sites like this and even government forms, like a Canadian Passport application. Good luck |
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If I was looking to date someone, I would wait until they were officially divorced, but that's just me.
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It is different for each individual. I, durring my divorce, didn't look. I know how it feels to be alone, and the divorce process sucks. It is jice to hafe someone on your side, and by your side. My caution to you is this, dont let the next girl you find just be a filler for an empty spot. It would not be fair to either you or them if they are the rebound girl. I do suggest that you speak openly, about your divorce, leaving the vulgarities and obcenities out, to all who ask you. You will find that many people have been through it, and often offer good advice, as well as mental support. Wonderful, supportive, women will be there when you need them. Just dont allow any possible new partner, to take part in any decision or choice throughout the divorce process. They can be supportive, but its your task to complete. Besides, if they feel that they have a part in it, you may resent them down the road, for their involvement. Divorce can be NASTY, or it can go smoothly. Choice is yours. I thoroughly agree with this. Sound advice. Totally agree here.. Another concern is if you have children that will see you dating,how often and how it will effect them if its a little to soon. |
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Can't be a norm as all experiences and people are different
I think if you're asking then your ready,think I didn't get in a relationship for 5 years but it still took a woman to get over a woman,in my case,so it still felt like a rebound after all that time. Its been said "if you've been married for 14 years,you've been breaking up for 7". this was like my case and then you think about the time afterwards It can be a lot of time out of the game, its also not healthy to wait that long. good luck |
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Thanks guys.
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dude u just give such great advice it's god sent my dear...love it #no rush
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My caution to you is this, dont let the next girl you find just be a filler for an empty spot. It would not be fair to either you or them if they are the rebound girl. Very well put! Thank you for stating that!!! It's hard going through divorce as any of us that have been there know... First and foremost.....be true to YOURSELF!!!!!! Once THAT is good.....we know that we are "fit for another" |
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Lucky for you guys there's divorce in your country..moving on will be a little bit easy. In my country there's no divorce, so even if I'm already separated for 20 yrs I cannot consider myself as single.
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Lucky for you guys there's divorce in your country..moving on will be a little bit easy. In my country there's no divorce, so even if I'm already separated for 20 yrs I cannot consider myself as single. Consider yourself as single!!! Don't ho by law go by feeling.. if he's gone move on! |
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