A man goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor, I've got this problem, only you've got to promise not to laugh."

The doctor replies, "Of course I won't laugh, that would be thoroughly unprofessional. In over 20 years of medical practice I've never once laughed at a patient."

"OK then," says the man, and he drops his trousers.

The doctor is greeted by the sight of the tiniest penis he has ever seen in his life. Unable to control himself, he falls laughing on the floor. Ten minutes later he is able to struggle up to his feet and wipe the tears from his eyes. "I'm so sorry," he says to the patient, "I don't know what came over me, I won't let it happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"

The man looks up at the doctor sadly and says, "It's swollen."



must have been my ex.

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his
dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts,
worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find
him. The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"The
mother replies, "well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I
have to get on top of it and help flatten it." "Your wasting your time,"
said the boy. "Why is that?" the mom asked puzzled. "Well, when you go
shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it
right back up."

And God created Man with 2 heads and only enough blood to run one at a time