Welcome to mingle2 UnaChang.

@izzyphoto1977: hey, don't discourage her from trying... lol

@ArtGurl and @goldenhinde: I don't think the rule applies to those who used time travel to skip 2 decades

Could either of you tell me where you got those time machines, there are a few concerts I was too young to go to back in the early 90s...

Welcome to mingle2 Summertym.

Yeah, just watched Murray win the Men's final in straight sets. I must say Djokovic made him work for that championship with 4 championship points before the end but I guess he had to remind everyone why he's still world #1 ...epic match though.

Thank you ArtGurl...

I retract my previous statement. ;)

@mditt7:

Plenty of hot girls on this forum, some even online today... lol

Welcome and good luck.

I've been here 2 days now but so far it's a sausage-fest and it seems that many of the girls I've found interesting have not been online for over a month, so... I'm just reading the forums.

Again, good luck to you guy.

My other struggles with the opposite sex have been meeting girls that are really just gold-diggers or finding that most of the girls who tell me how great a guy I was and how much a girl would be lucky to have me were either dating or married to my friends, eager to cheat on their boyfriends/husbands or quite a lot older than I am.

Where are the single girls my age and a little younger who also share those opinions?

I've also met quite a few girls that seemed at first, very attractive, well dressed and appeared to carry themselves quite elegantly but by the end of the first sentence out of their mouths, I was no longer interested... those were 'one night stand' girls who didn't know it and believed that I should date them or take them seriously when their only contribution to the relationship would be a hot body and pretty face.

I've been through that phase, I'm tired of these girls... I need a girl who has something going on between her ears but most of them seem to be married by the time you're 33 and I think I missed out because I was dating 'the immature overweight girl' with whom I 'thought' I was happy.

For once I'd like to meet an active (thin and fit are not the same thing) intelligent girl who has an interesting personality (and no self-esteem issues) and just see where that goes... it's been a while since I've had that and all I seem to meet these days are much older women, very immature girls that turn out to be younger than they let on (I'm not terribly interested in dating a girl who was being breast-fed when I was dating my first girlfriend) or girls that seem to think that I work for the both of us... wtf!!!

There is a big difference between taking care of the girl you're with and being the income earner of the girl you're with.

So... I'm now trying a dating site... sigh.

On the topic of the fat/overweight girls or the girls with the complex, I've honestly dated a few girls who were overweight when we met and while I'll admit that I didn't find any of them as physically attractive as other girls I'd met or dated (that's the reality of it), their personalities were what won me over.

My issue wasn't the weight as much as the baggage each girl had about her own weight. I'm athletic, I play tennis, I sail, I swim and generally try to keep my body in as healthy as state as I can given that my work is stressful and prevents me from sleeping as much as I need to, plus I have succumbed to the nicotine under stress from time to time.

I had in each case discussed the idea of getting these girls in shape when they kept bringing up the topic about being self-concious about their weight and after getting to know them, I could see the patterns in each case that led to the weight issues.

What I got was in one case, she started to work out with me, then I managed to get her on the tennis court but then she found every excuse why she wasn't available at the times we would train after about two weeks so the results were reversed.

Another girl was just, well, lazy. She didn't really want to do any physical exercise, she would prefer to try a 'miracle' diet then break it, then complain, then go for another.

In each case these girls were incredibly sweet and very intelligent but all had issues with most other girls who were smaller than they were, self-esteem issues which may not have been apparent in the beginning but were clear by the time I go to know them and in one case severe immaturity which became more apparent as time wore on and ultimately led to our breakup.

My issue with overweight girls is not the weight, it's what the weight is usually a symptom of and the underlying complex that comes with it.

My $0.02 worth is that this guy seems to be overcompensating for something and that something may be the baggage that he is carrying from his previous relationship(s).

I'll be 34 shortly and I have my own baggage, it may be pretty standard issue baggage for man in the west (where the women who pursue us most aggressively have ulterior motives and the ones we are interested in, play hard to get) but it's baggage nonetheless and everybody has baggage... if you think otherwise, you're delusional.

The most important thing is to know what that baggage is, why you have it and to be honest about it, anything else is a disaster waiting to happen.

I tend to agree with Torgo70... that's a bit creepy but we have instincts for a reason and if yours tell you something is off, then listen to them.

While everyone is different, I don't see myself or any of my friends speaking to a member of the opposite sex in that manner unless we were trying deliberately to creep her out or just taking the P. There is respectful and polite and then there is over the top... this seems more of the latter.

No worries luv, there are exceptions to every r

Thanks all,

Let's see how this goes.

@shortfire8521: took your advice, adjusted my profile info and will upload some photos later, put in a graphic in the meantime.

I've just signed up, thought I'd give it a try. My job doesn't give me much time to meet people and the girls I do meet where I live are either already in relationships/married or very superficial... So I'm here.

So here I am a bit jaded, overworked and eager for stimulating conversation with an intelligent girl I have something in common with.

Seems like a cool site, not quite what I expected, much better.