Community > Posts By > ernest33

 
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Sun 09/21/08 07:39 PM
nope, sorry not from stanford,but I'm just down the road from you in monticello!

ernest33's photo
Sat 09/20/08 08:55 PM

Being a "mean mom" is your job...
eventually you two will laugh be best friends and she'll be the same kind of mean to your grand-daughter!
and it'll be you saying " come on now the kid is ten and its just down the street!" that's how my mom did me:)

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Sat 09/20/08 09:53 AM
I would like to point out another side of the story. As a single dad, I have been searching for someone to share my life with. I once was talking to a lady I was interested in. One day I happened to overhear her talking to another friend that one man she was seeing "...doesn't have kids so my kids get all the attention..." I was not happy with this attitude and told her so. If I were to someday find someone I believe that both parties should treat all kids involved with love and respect and share both attention and discipline with them, no matter how many kids are involved.

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Sat 09/20/08 09:07 AM
my sister's situation is very simular. She has two sons and the oldest is 7, and has adhd. he has spent 3/4 of his life in institutions and hospitals and such. she actually blames his father (who is not around and doesn't pay support) due to abuse when she was together with him and her son was an infant. I want to send you my best wishes in your new relationship and in life. the only advice I could give is "never give up" as a single parent myself I know this is sometimes hard (especially late at night) put remember you have family, and friends here if you need them.

ernest33's photo
Thu 09/18/08 09:47 PM
I'm sorry but I'm lost here. you have my sympathies! I will pray for you ... and you should pray for guidance.

ernest33's photo
Thu 09/18/08 09:25 PM
don't feel lonely sweetheart, I'm having that same problem in reverse over here!

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Thu 09/18/08 09:17 PM
May God look down upon you. May you receive his blessings every day. Take his strength and suport unto you. You are in my prayers, I couldn't imagine what it must be like.

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Thu 09/18/08 09:04 PM

I believe every child DESERVES two parents who need THEM.A child looking out the window hoping their parent decides to come see them is so heart breaking to me.I experienced this with my daughter and stepdaughter while I was still married. You can't tell your kids what the other parent is doing or vent to them. Especially if the other parent is the same sex as the kid.Always remember kids idolize thier parents even the bad ones and they may think it's how they should be. Keep hoping though. A few years later and I can allow my ex to get my girl every other week for a whole week. Any of the bull***t it goes back. People get off track sometimes. And sometimes they find their way again.Sometimes.As far as raising a child of the opposite sex; I can't be a good example of a woman for her,but I can try to be a good example of a man. I can treat every lady like I would want my daughter treated and hope she sees. For now I tell her she can have all the boyfriends she wants, they make good soup.

There may be some truth here. now my oldest is 12 and lately her mother has shown some interest, although I think its too late now. I like the attitude toward role-modeling. but not the boyfriends!!

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Thu 09/18/08 08:46 PM

Thanks everyone. I just spoke with my Brother and things seem to be ok for now. He is staying in a motel and my Nephew is with him. My Brothers wife has agreed to seek counceling and hopefully they can work everything out and stay together instead of getting a divorce. They are young only 22 and 21. I know that my brother can be impatient and will be taking anger managment classes starting next week.
My Mother paniced when she spoke with my Brother earlier today it is hard for us to know what is really going on since we are so far away. If things do end up going bad atleast now I know exactly what action we need to take to make sure my Nephew is taken care of.

I would still seek out a lawyer! anger management classes and counseling are good starting points, and I wish your brother, his wife and their son the very best, but if I could go back to my divorce I would seek legal advice from the start so as to understand my rights. I was lucky in that I had a judge who saw the wool over my eyes and had an eye-opening conversation with me before he would continue the case. now, I have full, sole custody of my daughter. So, yes, by all means work things out if possible. But be prepared if things go south

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Thu 09/18/08 07:58 PM
I have two daughters (no son) and I've heard that raising boys is different from raising girls. However, what works for my girls also works on my two nephews ( and my sister is also a single parent) 1. CONSISTENCY, CONSISTENCY, CONSISTENCY!!! Both my daughters and my nephews know that if I say something then that is how it will be. no waffling, no changing my mind, no exceptions. 2. POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT! While I do not spare the rod if I deem it necessary, ( and I try for alternative punishments first and spanking as a last resort) I also do my best to focus on and reward good behavior. 3. USE YOUR ATTENTION TO YOUR BEST ADVANTAGE. Most "bad" behavior is a direct result of the child seeking your attention! If he learns to get that attention thru the wrong behavior, then he will continue that behavior. If he learns to get it thru desirable behavior, he will continue THAT behavior. ( this is my sister's biggest problem, but don't tell her I said that:) basically what this means is that your son will do whatever he must to get your attention. It is up to you what he learns is acceptable. 4. FOCUS ON BEHAVIOR. Let him know that the behavior is bad. NEVER say that he is a "bad boy" Kids will give us what we expect of them, even when we don't know that we expect it. and 5.NEVER LET HIM FORGET THAT YOU LOVE HIM!! Try to remember to hug him and kiss him and tell him you love him. He is the most important thing you will ever do in life. Do you want him to grow up being the kind of guy that hits women? Let him know that this is wrong and if he continues MAKE him stop! Oh and be patient. After all you have 11 more years to straighten him out. And don't be afraid to seek out parenting classes! I take them thru the school and these classes have done a lot for me.

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Thu 09/18/08 06:43 PM
xcited at first maybe but xhausted later ||

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Tue 09/16/08 06:11 PM
OK I don't feel so good about myself now. I showed this to my 12 year old and she also read it without a hitch ( well, alright she needed help with the word "Cambridge" but other than that...)

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Tue 09/16/08 06:02 PM
yea no problem

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Wed 08/20/08 07:35 PM
hello all. I'm a newbie. looking for friends and single ladies. I've never done this sort of thing before so wish me luck

ernest33's photo
Tue 08/19/08 07:16 PM
this is the first time I've tried this and I've had some mail but not a lot. I'm not very computer literate here but I'm learning:)