At first I was like WTF? But, then I LOL'd.

I think people are making jokes because the question is a non-sequitur.

Decent? The definition is fairly vague, meaning good, not indecent, clothed, presentable, or meets standards. How average.

I am almost 100% positive that the OP meant "above average" which would call for a world like "splendid".

It all depends on your standards, doesn't it? I knew women in Florida who were ga-ga over men who had a job at a Texaco pumping gas. In FL, being employed is a big deal.

I'm going to address this in my profile on a blog post. Look for "Above average men; finding, keeping of."

Hello.

I worked at Microsoft, and had full code-base access. I've had my fingers in CE, XP, Vista, and Seven. I've used linux since it came out in the early nineties. I'm a US Navy cold war vet, and ex military programmer, depending on which of my job skills you can get the security clearances to examine.

There is constant FUD about linux, mostly coming from Redmond and spread through ignorance. Let me clear up a few things.

XP = NT5.5
Vista = NT 6.0
Seven = NT 7.0 ... You're not getting anything new. You're paying full price for upgrades.

Viruses:
Windows viri = millions. There are literally too many to count.
Linux viri = one. There has never been more than one, and that was in 2004. Linux is no longer vulnerable to that virus, which was exclusively developed and restricted to a linux security lab. It was never 'wild.' Even if every website had a copy of this "virus" it would be unable to infect any Linux machine then or now.
Mac OSX viri = See linux. The only things that can do squat on a Mac are the viri that run exclusively within MS Office, and they can only screw up the Office related data. If you have MAC backups of your Winblows data, you'll be fine.

Spyware:
Spyware are pretty well OS independent these days. However, security certainly hinders and restricts how they work and how far they can get.

Windows Spyware: Near infinity. The OS itself is qualified as spyware.
Linux spyware: There are only a few types that have any effect on linux systems at all, and these prey on weaknesses in new Firefox versions.
Mac/OSX spyware: See linux. Again, the only weakness added to Macs are due to the availability of MS Office for the Mac. Get rid of MS products on your Mac and you've just secured your Mac.

Everyone uses Windows: False.
More than 90 nations now prefer *nix versions and have ceased to license MS products. The US Army has gone over to linux, and since the Army is responsible for the spooks and military spying that protect our nation, I'd be willing to trust them.

Presence - Colleges:
More than 80% of Windows popularity is forced down your throat, and you just don't know it. The University of Washington in Seattle had to sign NDAs, and a License which prohibits the teaching, distribution, and use of linux or unix systems, in order to get Microsoft server licenses. I worked there. It sucked. This is why UW is a terrible CS college. No good college would refuse to teach the best systems.

Presence - Government:
The US Gov is one of the worst shills in the world. Any powerful corporation can easily dictate terms, and Congress will waive all penalties for wrong doing if you donate to their campaigns. Linux doesn't do this. People use linux because they love it, not because Congress signed an exclusive contract with MSFT.

Stability:
Linux beats MSFT in all categories, and has for years. Why else would most of Europe and all of China switch their military computers to linux servers? Chinese hackers are legendary, and our government fears them.

Security:
Microsoft - MSFT servers have three security levels: kernel, system, and user. Regardless of what anyone else says, I have military code clearances and I can assure you that this is true. Again, I've also seen the code for winblows.
Linux - 64,000 security levels.

You decide, mkay? No real viruses, 64K vs 3 security levels, and FREE.

If you'd rather pay 200.00 for each Microsoft upgrade to your crappy windows OS, than use something faster, better, and stronger, then who's the moron?

Marketing works because so many people are stupid. You tell them 'green is the new black', and next thing you know idiots are buying ugly green clothing by the truckload in overpriced mall stores.

~D

The fort area is very low income, and has a fairly high crime rate, but apart from casual theft of anything not nailed down, it's actually a really nice area.

First of all, rents are cheap, and the shopping around that area is very inexpensive. The shop owners are REALLY nice to people who pay without arguing and who give them repeat business. They are also VERY social and love to talk to new people.

I lived in Tacoma and still have a house on 46th street. Tacoma isn't as terrible as people pretend it is. Seattle-ites act like it's a Million miles from civilization, but they're just biased and never drive anywhere. Tacoma has the Glass museum, which may not sound so cool but it's f**king awesome. Kids love that place. The "docks" in Tacoma are vibrant, full of businesses, boaters, and people who are so friendly that you could wind up getting invited on a sailing trip on somebody's Yaught.

I can give you a list of fifty things to do in Tacoma that are cool. There's an honest to God Mansion that you can tour, several huge parks, a zoo that is larger than anything else in the NW USA, and a vibrant downtown business zone that has some of the largest antique shops I've ever seen in 38 states.

MSG me if you want specifics. It is not, however, easy to get around Tacoma by bus. You will need a car. Parking is free almost everywhere, and there's a huge, FREE parking lot downtown with a FREE trolley to all the stores.

I worked at a law firm downtown in Tacoma and loved the area. Yeah, there are a lot of poor people and ethnic problems in Tacoma, but not on the scale of say, Detroit, or Los Angeles, not at all. I lived in T-town for two years without any incidents.

~D

Another gathering spot is the Energy Cafe at 15th Ave NW just south of 60th street. This is in Ballard. I know the owner and he is super nice, very sweet and cool. The place has great food, and they love to come out and sit with people to talk with them. SO friendly!

Meetings for gaming and parenting chat tuesday nights at 6PM! Free parking!

Most of the advice here is well-intentioned, but if I were you I would not take advice from forums. Nobody here is likely to be qualified to give you such important advice. That said, many "therapists" and "councilors" are not well qualified. In WA state all you need is a college class and a reference, and you too can be a "councilor." I've found that most were pushy Christians who just wanted a job where they get paid to judge people.

No, what you need is solid family advice, probably from an experienced divorce attorney who works on a sliding scale. My attorney was one of the very best, and I know, people don't think of lawyers as someone to turn to for relationship advice. They're awesome, or at least she is. My lawyer rocks my world. Fair, strong, intelligent, and works for charities and single parents. She wins a LOT, and is respected. She can't be the only one.

MSG me for her info if you want it, but it seems to me that what you need is to talk about divorce! The best place to do that is an attorney's office. My lawyer took us through three mediation sessions because of complications, and yet it still wasn't a very expensive divorce. I have the house and the kids, too. All adults are satisfied with the visitation and custody of the children, etc. Nobody came out of this divorce pissed off or feeling cheated.

I think we paid her in total only about 6,000.00, which is about 1/50th of the total divorce settlement. "A++++++ would divorce again." ;)

Seriously man, protect your children! See an attorney today. My ex delayed by six months while we talked, and it ended up costing her a few thousand in the payment schedule. The filing date is "important."

~D

"we do, but then that stuff gets old and u want more.. "

This is basically true from a simple psychological point of view, for both sexes. It's not just men, and it's not just women. It is humans.

The way to fix this is NOT to demand that the other sex, or person of interest, fulfill your needs -whatever they may be.

The correct response is to be self-sufficient, as far as possible for your lifestyle, religion, and other beliefs. The second step is to be as honest as possible, first with yourself, and then with others. What is it you need most? Tell yourself what you really want, then share this information with your intended.

Men are not on this Earth to serve women. As a male, such demands to 'serve you', fix you, save you, or cater to you in any way are a HUGE red flag visible from space. It's a massive turn off.

Instead, try this approach: You say you'd like to be treated "like a woman", so explain what this entails in simple terms, without demanding gifts, services, or support. Don't be demanding, but expository, change the tone from 'do what I want' to 'this is what I like.'

White Knights get burned repeatedly. I should know, I used to be quite a Paladin in my youth. I gave it up for lent. Women USE men like doormats when they are too generous, too easy, or too quick. We learn to stop doing those things. We start to see such signs in a woman as a symptom of serious problems.

Posting such things as "real men" or "why don't" and other such complaints indicate that the poster hasn't figured this out.

What men really want is extremely easy to ascertain. We are very honest in general. Most men will readily tell you exactly what they'd like in a long term relationship IF, and only IF, you present an atmosphere of maturity and acceptance. When you ask a man what he wants and then ***** and moan, or criticize his response, he is unlikely to open up to you any more, ever.

These statements apply to both sexes, and both sexualities.

~D

My spouse is available for other women, she prefers younger single lesbians for LTR and just getting to know or experience the lifestyle. She is submissive however, and not going to be good at initiating or chasing people. I would not be involved, but my most beloved Aunt is lesbian and I understand how things work.

Write me for her contact info. Due to her sub nature I screen people who might be too aggressive or dangerous.

I'm an online publisher and I am certain that I could craft something suitable for you. Do you want a painting, simulated oils, watercolor, photograph, or virtual world frame? If you haven't found anything suitable then give me a buzz.

I also like to talk with new authors about their experiences online. I HIGHLY recommend hipiers.com, Piers Anthony's website for critical review of physical and virtual publishing. I've known him for a few decades and the ole curmudgeon has very acute and perceptive reviews.

Thanks,

D

Between Lake City and Bothell:
Third Place Books, Sunday at Noon.

WA does have a smaller population than most of the places I've lived. It was a huge problem in the transportation issues in Olympia, not enough people to use it and fund it, but a lot of people who want it. The demand peaked in the late 90s and the state finally agreed that there were now enough people here to build rail.

When it's done, there might be people here to use it. MSFT has a huge brain drain, but google has a presence here now so hopefully that will even out. Eventually, we'll be a 'real boy.'

Meanwhile... I am from Florida, via California and twenty other states. I've noticed that natives of WA are a rather passive aggressive sort. People don't make friends here. Is it the weather? The fact that 90% of the population is from somewhere else? Whatever, we need to get past that.

Let's start a club! Real time, real world. In Tacoma: the B&I. In downtown Seattle: The Hurricane. West Seattle: Safeway Plaza. North Seattle: Greenlake South East Lot. Bothell:
3rd Place Books.

Weekends are best for all the working Seattlites. Saturday at 4pm? Sunday at Noon? Pick a good time, but go there every week, and announce it. I'll meet you. I'll bring snacks. :)

Let's do it.

~D

I publish Ebooks, so I am biased, and I'm also an author, so I am doubly biased but in two opposite directions. Take it from the horses mouth, my grandfather said.

Ebooks are awesome. Traditional press has many centuries-long problems associated with it, most of which center on the limitation of works. Ebooks make almost any work available. Does it mean they're all bad? Hardly. Some of the best things I've ever read were on the internet and free.

Secondly, Ebooks are a great initiator for beginners. If your Ebook is popular you are almost certain to get a 'real book' publishing deal, AND on better terms than an unpublished author would ever get. You'll be allowed to keep your rights.

Thirdly, Ebooks are more portable than paper, and don't kill trees. You can email them to your friends. You don't have to find a library and get a card, or return it.

There are at least a dozen other strong arguments in favor of Ebooks, and the people who wax philosophical about "feeling the book" are the same people who chain themselves to the local tree when a new house is being built. That's a stupid argument, because there is nothing intrinsically valuable about paper printing over any other media.

Some people say what about library of congress? What about future generations? Nuclear war? Look, DVDs store a hell of a lot more than paper. If there's a nuclear war, there'll still be a few DVD players around, especially in nuke-proof libraries [if there is any such thing.] Also, we'd all be dead and the living would have other issues to be more worried about, such as living.

All stupid argument and distractions aside, there's absolutely nothing "wrong" with Ebooks, and the question is often placed in such terms. That's like asking if there is anything wrong with the Pope. It's a loaded question.

I'd like to see my own books printed more widely, but I'm not vain about it being in vellum. Cheap paperback will be fine with me, but even that is not necessary if people just like what I write.

Moreso, I hope that I can publish deserving writers more rapidly. Any person here who wants to have an Ebook is welcome to contact me and to submit their works. It's free.

That's the one thing about Ebooks that has ever upset me at all, and that is the number of sites out there that try to prey on new authors. NO author should EVER pay to be published. Publishers are supposed to pay YOU.

I won't paste the URL because I'm not a spammer either. Thanks!

~D

Seeing "several other women"? I see women all the time. I have lots of male and female friends, and I don't make friends based upon sex or sexuality. My maternal uncle and my younger brother are both gay.

It appears that people are taking "meet the kids" as 'wanting to marry'. This isn't necessarily healthy for you or the kids, or the person you're dating.

I've met kids on the first date, and I've dated women for over a year without meeting the kids, and I've reached the decision that I won't date women who won't let me even meet the kids. They're always hiding something.

The kids I've met during the first date were aware that it was a 'friend' or 'date' and were pretty damn cool about it. I get "do you really like my mom" pretty frequently, and I love that question.

The women who had kids I never met were pretty messed up emotionally from prior relationships, controlling, or overly religious, so I do not feel that I'm missing anything good with them.

I have kids too. Ladies, you are not alone in this. My kids met many of the women I dated, but there were also many that they never met. I let life guide me, and what developed was a pattern that worked very well. I meet the woman once on a friendship date. No kissing, no anything. Just food, a walk, talking, and deciding if there will be a 2nd date. On the 2nd date they meet my kids. I do this at a park or movie or something fun for my kids. I make no effort to plan it around the woman.

There are few absolutes in life. Breaking the rules is ok. Being faithful to yourself is ok. If more women had good self esteem, more of them would have met my kids.

When I see fear, lingering emotions from the last trainwreck, and a history of broken relationships, I avoid them. I broke up with a beautiful Japanese Heiress in Seattle because she drank too heavily and had serious emotional problems. Money and Beauty do not make a good mom.

At the same time, I do not date women who weigh more than I do, and I'm not thin. The third or fourth date will usually be hiking, biking, or other physical activity. I don't even have to bother telling you what women do not show up for those. Women who skip that date never see me again unless they invite me on something equally rigorous.

Over the years, my kids grew up. Now they're adults, and they're dating too, and guess what? They learned how to date from me, and they're VERY selective. I'm always happy with who I meet that they are seeing, but neither of my sons have picked a long term partner just yet. They both have women that they are interested in, but taking their time.

That's good, because I raised them to wait until after college to get married. Nobody should try to start a family before they have a career or at least a lifestyle.

We talk very openly, and my kids know I trust them. I've often deferred to their judgment when they didn't like someone, because what's the point of dating anyone my kids hate? Twice they've noticed alcoholism before I did, because the woman let her guard down in front of my kids but not around me.

So, very long story short, I can't see a single thing wrong with allowing your kids to not only SEE who you date, but to VETT your dates. Good people come through. Bad people do not. The kids not only are not harmed by this, but it builds a strong relationship with you into their adulthood.

Of course, if you date criminals or crack whores, that's your own problem, and you should not have kids.

~D