Three couples got married and spent their honeymoons at the same hotel, where they were all attended to by Jeff the Bellboy.
The first man married a nurse.
Jeff showed them to their room, all the while thinking to himself, ��Lucky guy! Nurses are known to be hot to trot.
The second man married a telephone operator.
Jeff showed them to their room, while thinking to himself, Wow, he��s one lucky dude. Telephone operators have such sexy voices and once you pop that top button.. Va-voom.
The third man married a school teacher.
Jeff showed them to their room and thought to himself, “Poor sap. She may be pretty, but teachers are way too frigid.��
At 5:30 the following morning, Jeff reported to work. He expected the teacher��s husband to call for breakfast any minute, but was sure the other two wouldn'��t call until much later in the day.
The phone rang at 6 a.m. and it was the nurse��s husband wanting breakfast. Jeff took breakfast up to the room and when the husband opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The mans pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
��Sir, what happened?” asked Jeff. ��You married a nurse. ��Son, don't ever marry a nurse, the man sourly replied. ��All I heard last night was her nagging voice saying, ��You're not sanitary, you're not sanitary��.
The phone rang again at 6:30 a.m. and this time it was the telephone operator’s husband calling for breakfast. Jeff took it to the room as quickly as possible. When the man opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The mans hair was neatly combed and his pajamas nicely pressed.
��What happened?�� Jeff asked with surprise. “Telephone operators as supposed to be as sexy as their voices.��
��Son, don'��t ever marry a telephone operator,�� the man groaned. ��All I heard last night was her nasal voice saying, Your three minutes are up, your three minutes are up.
Jeff returned to his desk, sure that the teachers husband would be calling at any moment.
Finally, at 4 p.m., the teacher��s husband called for breakfast.
Jeff couldn't believe it, but quickly took the breakfast to the couples room. When the man opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The man was wearing only a pair of boxers, his hair was a mess, and there were scratches all over his chest, arms and legs.
“My goodness sir, what happened to you?�� Jeff asked, fearing the worst. “Did you have a fight?
The man, grinning from ear to ear, happily replied, “No. Son, when you marry be sure it’s to a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy, smooth voice saying, ��We��re going to do this over, and over, and over again, until we get it right��.��

1. If We'd Known You Were Staying All Night, We'd Have Changed the Sheets.
3. Not just for nooners anymore.
4. Hey, we're not the Ritz, but just try bringing your secretary there on *your* salary, pal!
5.We don't make the adultery. We make the adultery *better*
6. Cheap and Easy -- Just Like Your Mother
7. We put the "Ho" in "Hotel"
8. We're working on that smell thing, too.
9. Because you deserve better than the backseat of some car.
10. As seen on "COPS"

I am here on this site looking for a women 22-34. Anything else is already on my profile, but what isn't there is the fact that I love a lot about life to the point I can't sum it up on my profile. So if you like a nice kind respectful guy that lives in Waldorf that will treat you right and never do you dirty then hit me up and let me know what you want to know and why your after a guy like me.

If you will be in Waldorf and .want to hang I will be at grill 13 tonight. I will be the one alone signing tonight an my name is Alan. Pictures on profile. Females prefered, but will hang with anyone. So come one come all.

A five year old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulls a beer out of a cooler. the little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" Grandpa replied, "Can your dick touch your ***?" The little boy answered no. Grandpa said "Then you're not man enough to have a beer." A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar. The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" Once again, Grandpa asked, "Can your dick touch your ***?" The little boy answered no, again. Grandpa said, "Then your not man enough to have a cigar." A little later, the little boy came out of the house With a cookie. Grandpa asked, "Can I have a cookie?" The boy asked "Can your dick touch your ***?" Grandpa replied, "Hell yeah my dick can touch my ***!" The boy replied, "Then go **** yourself, Grandma made these cookies for me."

What is a movie that you like to watch, but everyone you know hates. For me it's the super mario bros movie.

1. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL, LMAO, or ROTFLMAO!"
2. Start using Facebook for something other than Farmville and stupid quizzes
3. I will try to figure out why I "really" need 5 facebook accounts.
4. I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.
5. Lose 20 pounds by going to the gym!
6. I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.
7. I will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet.
8. I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
9. Spend less than $1000 for coffee at Starbucks this year.
10. Lose weight by inventing an anti-gravity machine.
11. Stop repeating myself again, and again, and again.
12. I will stop tagging pictures of myself in pictures even when I'��m not in them.
13. I will think of a password other than "password"

Santa went down the Chimney and started putting presents under the tree. He went to leave and noticed the most beautiful red headed women laying there in her naughty nighties, She said santa do you wanna stay and play, He said HO HO HO Gotta go Gotta Go gotta deliver presents to the kids Ho HO. So he went to leave again and She said once more, "Santa dont you want to stay and play" as she took off her nighties and was layin there in a sexxy g-string, He said Ho Ho HO gotta go gotta go gotta deliver presents to the kids dont you know ho ho, So he went to leave one last time and the women said again, "Santa stay and play" and when he turned around she was laying there completely naked, The most beautiful thing in the world spread eagle, He said hey hey hey gotta stay gotta stay, cant go up the chimney with my pecker this way!

A girlfriend or a friend, but mostly a girlfriend and the details for this are on my profile.

1. You're reading this now.
2. You're realizing that this is a stupid fact.
4. You didn't notice I skipped number 3.
5. You're checking now.
6. You're smiling.
7. You're still reading this even though it is stupid.
9. You didn't realize I skipped number 8.
10.You're checking again and smiling because you fell for it again.
11. You're enjoying this.
12. You didn't realize I said 10 facts not 12.

All I want by Kodaline

One day there was a pregnant women who was about to go into labor with 3 children.
Her husband didn’t want to be any part of this so he decided to leave her and took the car.
So she had to walk to the hospital all by herself. All of a sudden she came to a dark alley and of course she went through it and all of a sudden a man pops out and shoots her in the stomach.
When she got to the hospital she was ok and the babies were fine as well.
16 years later
16 years later the first child who was a girl came to the mother and said “mom mom guess what?”
“What?”
I pissed out a bullet.
So the mother told her what happened 16 years ago.
Then the second born child who was also a girl came to her mother and said “mom mom guess what I pissed out a bullet.”
So the mom told her what happend 16 years ago.
Then the 3rd born child came in who was a boy said “mom mom guess what?”
The mom said “let me guess you pissed out a bullet.”
“No i was jacking off and i shot the dog!”

A Redskins fan, an Eagles fan, a Cowboys fan, and a Giants fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more. The Redskins fan insists he is the most loyal. 'This is for the Redskins! ' he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Eagles fan shouts, 'This is for the Eagles!' and throws himself off the mountain. The Giants fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, 'This is for everyone!' and pushes the Cowboys fan off the mountain.

Blues brothers.

I know most of us have heard the saying love knows no distance. Well is it true? If so why is it? If not why is it? For me it's true because you can find love where you want to find love and only you decide how far you will go for love.

A man is talking to his best friend about married life.
“You know,” he says, “I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there’s always that doubt.”
His friend says, “Yeah, I know what you mean.”
A couple of weeks later the man has to go out of town on business. Before he goes, he gets together with his friend.
“While I’m away, could you do me a favor? Could you watch my house and see if there is anything fishy going on? I mean, I trust my wife but there’s always that doubt.”
The friend agrees to help out, and the man leaves town.
Two weeks later he comes back and meets his friend.
“So did anything happen?”
“I have some bad news for you,” says the friend.
“The day after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house. The horn honked and your wife ran out and got into the car and they drove away. Later, after dark, the car came back. I saw your wife and a strange man get out. They went into the house and I saw a light go on, so I ran over and looked in the window. Your wife was kissing the man. Then he took off his shirt. Then she took off her blouse. Then they turned off the light.”
“Then what happened?” says the man.
“I don’t know. It was too dark to see.”
“Damn, you see what I mean? There’s always that doubt.”

As the title say's what is the one best love song you would share with the one you love? For me that is your the inspiration by Chicago.

Lamb of god

In the beginning K'naan

Yes this is true. The awful snes Shaq Fu gets a sequel and from the trailer looks like a beat em up. Could be wrong. Well an article with trailer is found here: http://www.theverge.com/2014/3/6/5477472/shaq-fu-sequel-crowdfunding