Community > Posts By > anime_fan_girl

 
anime_fan_girl's photo
Fri 10/31/08 06:22 AM
Nice to have you with us and have fun =).

anime_fan_girl's photo
Fri 10/31/08 06:15 AM

nice plan for a story:smile: flowerforyou


thank you =)

anime_fan_girl's photo
Thu 10/30/08 05:39 PM

I'd recommend breaking it up into smaller paragraphs -- large blocks of text are harder on the eyes and will cause some people to turn away.

The storyline itself looks good -- I myself do a lot of writing in present-tense narrative (I stole it from John Updike -- it has a sort of cinematic immediacy to it) and I think it's effective for the piece you've provided.

I would also recommend some added punctuation -- some of the sentences are a bit undirected, and it's not always clear where one ends and the next begins.

For example:

"she stands her eyes roaming the dark waters of the ocean her dress and hair billow around her the dagger in her hand drips blood onto the ground, Turning she raises the dagger and licks the blade clean enjoying every moment of her kill her eyes stray to the body not 10 feet from her and she smiles."

would be clearer as:

"She stands, her eyes roaming the dark waters of the ocean; her dress and hair billow around her. The dagger in her hand drips blood onto the ground. Turning, she raises the dagger and licks the blade clean, enjoying every moment of her kill. Her eyes stray to the body, not 10 feet from her, and she smiles."

Just a few minor changes but considerably clearer.

You should keep writing. You have talent.







Thank you I'll try and edit the save copy. And then I'll edit it here.

anime_fan_girl's photo
Thu 10/30/08 05:33 PM

welcome to this side of the site...

flowerforyou


Thank you =)

anime_fan_girl's photo
Thu 10/30/08 05:09 PM
One night I was sitting at my laptop and I started writing this. Please Don't think I would actually kill anyone but I was thinking of making it into some kind of horror book.

Tell me what you all think......

she stands her eyes roaming the dark waters of the ocean her dress and hair billow around her the dagger in her hand drips blood onto the ground, Turning she raises the dagger and licks the blade clean enjoying every moment of her kill her eyes stray to the body not 10 feet from her and she smiles. Her husband or ex husband now lay on the cold ground. She strides up to him rolling him over with the toe of her boot she bends down and places her fingers on his throat, no pulse good that means the lying bastard had finally suffered his fate and at his wives own hands. she smiled at the last thought " not like i would have let anyone else have the satisfaction of sinking a blade into you " she mumbled. No one had a grudge against him the way she did and to think just days before there perfect little marriage had been whole and beautiful. That thought brought tears to her eyes she reached her hand up and wiped they away quickly living a bloody smear on her cheek. She stood up casting one last look at her husband she mumbled " You said you'de love me forever you bastard " she gazed around the area making sure she didnt leave anything that would connect her to the murder, satisfied she kicked him one last time and set off running downhill toward her car her " getaway vehicle" she thought with a laugh as she climbed behind the wheel. She had never done anything like this before, She had been scared but who know killing the cheating bastard would feel so good. She started the car and when the radio blasted on she thumped the steering wheel to the beat she couldnt remember a time she felt this alive. She was on a high the whole drive home not until she had closed the front door of her house.. there house did it hit her like a sledge hammer and she sank to her knees in the hallway and wept into her hands. What had happend there marriage had been going so well, or so she thought until last night. Her husband had been spending a late night at work so she had decided to drop in with dinner for him how was she supposed to know his " late night " wasnt filing papers but having sex ontop of them the bastard, he had lied to her, pretended that he still loved her, slept in the same bed with her while he was seeing someone else on the side. How could he she wondered how could anyone pretend life everything was normal while they were runing someone elses lives. The plan to make him pay had come to her in the night, like a dream it had all played out before her.The perfect way to kill her husband.

anime_fan_girl's photo
Thu 10/30/08 05:01 PM
Fadeing light

The sun falls to earth
As the darkness creeps
The Last Flash of light
Burns the heavens anew
Twisting mortal souls rage
Cancer and death plages
Drowning the world in fear and ignorence
As the last honest soul prayers fade away
As the body returns from wince it came...



Trust

The light demith in my eternal horizon
The twilight of the heavensexpand once more
Explosion of firey colors streaming across my eyes
Blinding my soul to your so called love and grace evermore
Time shatters as the abyss consumes everlasting within
My heart becons to hear your heavenly voice once again...



No More

Backed against the wall trapped and breathless
Blood rushing threw the body like a rageing tidal wave
The Childish games of old ehco still today
Unchained anger swings out against the stupiedity and unmatureity of our peers
The light of sanity blinks out as the darkness pours out of the body
Awaking the dark and wickedness of my soul
As it claws its way threw its fleshy prision to the surface once again
Seathing and searching for the prey that angers the demon within
The hollow laughter echos threw the body and walls everywere
Demons eyes peirce ur soul as a dark grin covers my bloody lip
A sweet melody plays everlasting in my heart as the fire burns
Your pathetic lies and decite are fadeing more as you envoke my wrath and flaughting your hollow victory...

anime_fan_girl's photo
Thu 10/30/08 06:17 AM

I remember when Cartoon network showed cartoons! Then I moved out of the dorms and didn't have cable anymore. sad

It's a banana day anyway!

:banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:
:banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:


Ring Ring Ring Banana Phone :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:


anime_fan_girl's photo
Thu 10/30/08 06:07 AM

ill always be a dragonball z fan


I will as-well , Have you seen any Dragon ball GT?

anime_fan_girl's photo
Thu 10/30/08 06:00 AM
Cartoon Network is becoming very sad , and so is adult swim.
I mean God I finally figure out the line up and the time and they change it , or take something off that I really enjoy.

Naruto is hardly on , FMA is never on anymore , They took Toonami away which Made me super uber Sad.

Then now they have Movies on which doesn't even have anything to do with Cartoons Blarghhhh , I wish they'd just leave it alone.

anime_fan_girl's photo
Thu 10/30/08 05:54 AM

Here is another thread about it if you are interested. Lots of Anime fans there as well :smile:

http://mingle2.com/topic/show/175564


Thank you =)

anime_fan_girl's photo
Thu 10/30/08 05:48 AM
This forum is for all the anime Fans

Well first off I finally seen the live action DeathNote part 1&2 , The first part I enjoyed but when it came to the second I didn't really care for how it ended.


Good or Bad about Speed Racer the movie , Is it worth watching?

And also I'm excited about the Ghost in the shell live action in the making!.

Right now some of my top anime I like are ,

1) FMA

2) ghost in the shell

3) Naruto

4) Bleach

5) Inuyasha


Anyway I finally seen the end of Inuyasha and I really enjoyed the whole series , But I haven't got to read all of the manga , Can anyone tell me if the Manga ending is different then the series?

anime_fan_girl's photo
Wed 10/29/08 12:59 PM
:smile: wow that is a very wonderful story , thank you for sharing with me , It is good to know just because I'm going to be having a baby that there is still Hope for me to find someone.

anime_fan_girl's photo
Wed 10/29/08 12:48 PM
well thank you for giving your advise , , good luck to both of you in your search =). Hopefully someone will still want to be with me even Tho I'll have a child.

anime_fan_girl's photo
Wed 10/29/08 12:39 PM
I'm a 21 year old woman , and I'm going to be a mother , and Ive only been in 4 relationships in my whole life , and They didn't turn out well , I was used , abused and had many head games played , Ive been single about 6 or 7 months , and don't get me wrong I'm happy in my life and being single . but I would like to try and start over .Ive been getting asked that if I'm only looking for a LTR just because I'm pregnant and NO I'm not , In all honestly I'm looking for friends first and companionship in the hopes of it turning LT. Is it wrong of me for only wanting companionship right now?


And is there anyone out there that feels the same way as I do?


Please help ,
Thank you