Now I bet you got them lining up for you.

If you can get it inside it counts.

The race just started.
I'm taking Jimmie Johnson

Nobody does this.
What if.

That book is a bunch of ****

I know what to tell them If we let you go to ladies room all the guys will want to come to the ladies room.

I'm too old for this.

Well if they identify themselves as women why are they wearing woodies in the shower.

That's why you have to learn to negotiate.

Somehow I don't think he ever got on.
But I do hate when they try to stop me from working.

I'm still cool and Hip. Just not young.
But missing that 70 Chevelle

No Job should definitely try eBay.

Now I had to tell her the truth.
It took forever. And I'm not sure she got it.

A while back I bought this rusted Mongoose Californian, Parted it out and made $550. Then I bought this road bike that was custom made at goodwill and did the same.

So what she come back with a Ross 3 speed with road bike handlebars.

I told her I know you were trying to help.

Or lie like a rug.

She bought me a bike and it's a piece of crap.

All that popcorn no wonder everybody is getting fat.

WASHINGTON (Satire from The Borowitz Report)—Adding a new wrinkle in an already unpredictable election year, Donald Trump saw his poll numbers plummet on Monday after receiving a surprise endorsement from President Barack Obama.

The long-awaited downfall of the abrasive billionaire came in startling fashion, as few had expected the President to offer a full-throated endorsement of Trump, especially on the eve of the all-important Super Tuesday primaries.
Praising the Republican front-runner during a nationally televised address, the President said that, despite media reports to the contrary, Trump shared his views on such important issues as immigration and religious tolerance. “In every way that matters, Donald and I are on exactly the same page,” Obama said, pointing to a framed picture of the billionaire on his Oval Office desk.

Concluding his endorsement with an emphatic closing argument, Obama said, “If you love me, vote for Trump.”

In several G.O.P. polls taken after the President’s stunning endorsement, Trump sank from first to fifth place, trailing the retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson by several points.

As news of the President’s endorsement spread, former Trump supporters across the nation gathered to vent their anger, with some burning signs, trucker hats, and other campaign paraphernalia at impromptu bonfires.

Harland Dorrinson, who had attended a massive Trump rally in Alabama just a day earlier, said that he now felt totally betrayed by the billionaire. “I guess when all is said and done, Donald Trump was just too good to be true,” he said.

And slips to 5th place.
How about that.

I think you should ask a priest. Not these guys.

They may not be right but always have the last word.