yea i should do that

ty nowif only i could get some i would be ok .....lol

thats too much playin

she seen me talkin with him

but should i kick the girls ass

but where are the guys at...

yea i was kinda thinking the same thing......

ok....so im offically desperate now....i tried to see whats up with this one guy...well there was is other girl...who just got around him like none other...and i tried to still talk wit him and all but i dont kno....and then now while she is over at his crib....he wants me to come over and chill with...buti dont want to if she is there.... what should i do....i kinda wanna go over and kick her ass but i dont kno

damn

TO ALL THE EASTERN IOWANS AFFECTED BY THESES FLOODS....STAY SAFE...THEY ARE DOIN ALL THEY CAN ...TO EVERYONE ELSE WHO DOES NOT KNOW...




GO TO WWW.KCRG.COM


LIVE FLOOD COVERAGE

TO ALL THE EASTERN IOWANS AFFECTED BY THESES FLOODS....STAY SAFE...THEY ARE DOIN ALL THEY CAN ...TO EVERYONE ELSE WHO DOES NOT KNOW...GO TO WWW.KCRG.COM


LIVE FLOOD COVERAGE

Number 10. Be a frosh (freshman).

It's not true that every frosh can be knocked into unconsciousness by waving a tom collins under their nose, but as those of us who go hunting for frosh on "New Kids night" at the local dance holes know, the phenomena is not rare. Frosh are usually young, inexperienced, and sometimes even illegal to entice into your boudoir. If anyone can get drunk on five bucks, it's them.

Number 9. Be female.

Chivalry is not dead! While you ladies can't expect guys to risk their life, or miss an episode of star trek for you, you may still be able to get some alcohol out of them. Try standing around the bar, sipping water with a grimace on your face. Dress smutty. Smile at guys as they walk by, the drunker geekier the better. If you want to get more than one drink out of a guy start talking about how hot it is. Act intoxicated. Become even more friendly. At an appropriate time have a friend come by and "save you", then move on to the next guy.

Number 8. Try Medication.

Sleeping pills. Allergy pills. If it says "do not take alcohol with this drug" or "do not operate a motorized vehicle while under the influence of this drug", it must be good! Intelligent students such as ourselves, while not having a shred of pharmaceutical knowledge, can see that these statements are a plot by alcohol producers to keep us buying large quantities of booze.

Number 7. If it ends in 'ol', drink it!

Alcohol isn't the only intoxicant ending in 'ol'. Methanol, Butanol and Propanol are all fine safe intoxicants, often available at bargain prices. Stay away from aerosol, cholesterol, and drool.

Number 6. Sleep Deprivation and Sickness.

For some reason, your body doesn't want you to have any fun, and actively fights alcohol -enhancement. When you're sick, and tired, your body's defenses are at their lowest. This means its often one of the most cost effective times to get plastered! Best of all, if you puke, you can blame it on the flu.

Number 5. Try Antifreeze

Hey, ten thousand deranged alcoholic street people can't be wrong!

Number 4. Smash and Grab.

Drunk on less than five bucks? Try drunk for free! If you're smart enough to figure out your news reader, chances are you're smart enough to plan a little robbery.

Number 3. Scavenge.

Go to any bar and you'll usually see alcohol that people just don't want. Most often these finds will be at empty tables, with chairs with jackets on them that people also don't want. Grab the booze, and the jackets, and leave. Do so stealthily though. You wouldn't believe how many losers will pretend that they really wanted their cast offs. Finders keepers!

Number 2. Hang around with Losers or Generous People (same thing)

Some people are crazed enough to buy alcohol for other people, and expect nothing in return. Well, they might expect after they buy you a round that you'll do the same, but you never signed any contract. Generous people usually stop buying alcohol when they realize what a cheap bastard you are, but losers will usually keep on doing it. They'll be so overwhelmed by the fact that you're actually talking to them, they won't worry about little details, like that they're spending their tuition money to get you pissed.


And now ...(drum-roll)... The Number 1 Way to get Drunk

for Five Dollars or Less: ... Make Beer Fast!

Finger the originator of this article, an address will be given. Mail one beer to this address. Using saturation posting techniques, repost this article to enough newsgroups for about a
million people to see it. Within a few weeks you'll have received a million beers. In another few weeks the postal system will collapse...

SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

STYLE:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

MONEY MANAGEMENT:
A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants.
A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn't want.

HAPPINESS:
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

MARRIAGE EXPECTATIONS:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

MARRIAGE DECISIONS:
Men marry because they are tired.
Women marry because they are curious.
Both are disappointed.

MARRIAGE AND THE FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband,
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MEMORIES:
A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her.
A man cherishes the memory of the woman who he didn't marry.

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN:
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

WHAT A WOMAN WANTS:
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy...
- One is to let her think she is having her own way.
- The other is to let her have it.

LONGEVITY:
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

MISTAKES:
Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use
two people remembering the same thing.

THE BATTLE:
A woman always has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity


Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!


Arizona: But It's a Dry Heat


Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything


California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.


Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother


Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys Don't Own It Yet.


Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water


Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids


Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism


Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)


Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes...Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good


Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"


Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free


Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn


Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States


Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names


Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign


Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster


Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It


Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)


Michigan: First Line Of Defense Against The Canadians


Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes


Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State


Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work


Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies,& Very Little Else


Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest


Nevada: Whores and Poker -- WOO-EEE!!!


New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone


New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!


New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets


New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right to An Attorney...


North Carolina: Tobacco IS A Vegetable


North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!


Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan


Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing


Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner


Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal


Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island


South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender


South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota


Tennessee: The Educashun State


Texas: Si, Hablo Ingles (Yes, I Speak English)


Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus


Vermont: Yep, syrup!


Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?


Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!


Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?


West Virginia: One Big Happy Family...Really!


Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese


Wyoming: Where Men Are Men...and the sheep are scared !!!

There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis sitting around talking about how their lives sucked.


The cucumber said, "Man, my life sucks. When I get big, fat, and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad."


The pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have it bad? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick me in vinegar, put spices on me, and stick me in a jar."


The penis looks at him and says, "You think you have it rough? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick a rubber tarp on my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out!."

A girl came skipping home from school one day.

'Mommy, Mommy,' she yelled, 'we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!'


'Very good,' said her mother.


'Is it because I'm blonde?' the girl said. 'Yes, it's because you're blonde,' said the mommy.


The next day the girl came skipping home from school. 'Mommy, Mommy,' she yelled, 'we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!'


'Very good,' said her mother.


'Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?'


'Yes, it's because you're blonde.'


The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy,' she yelled, 'we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!' And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.


'Very good,' said her embarrassed mother.


'Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?'


'No Honey, it's because you're 24.'

sry that i did that......i didntkno itwas so long......

When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good. If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad.

Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither and don't want to know how many other fish you caught.

In fishing you lie about the one that got away. In loving you lie about the one you caught.

You can catch and release a fish, you don't have to lie and promise to still be friends after you let it go.

You don't have to necessarily change your line to keep catching fish.

You can catch a fish on a 20-cent night crawler. If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum.

Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.