If I may correct you. It is an observation of someone else's life experience as they told it to you.

We don't know the actual details of his failed woman experience. we just know his justification for being gay.

He justified it by saying he tried it the other way and it didn't work.

but he didn't tell you that is wasn't the same experience or fun as when uncle harry used baby oil on him when he was 8. Or maybe it was the drama teacher in Jr high who gave him his first bj and how much easier that was than trying to figure out the complexities of Sally in the park that next summer.

Somewhere along the way, he chose this path.

Please note I didn't say it was right or wrong. I just stated he made a choice along the way.

That is correct. It is the true trap called blame.

IF you can blame someone or something else for the reason things are the way they are, then it isn't in your control to do anything about it.

Respecting Ghost privacy. Does anyone have an update on our friend?

As with all conflicting subjects the deception is in the question.


The concept that we don't have chose in who or what we are is a lie. A deception. This is the queen of all lies.

So if this is a lie then what is the truth?

The truth is "Choice" is all we have control over.

Before you argue with me. Tell me what do you or I control in this world other than our own choices?

The man wasn't fulfilling their needs.

You placed the blame on the man (or the other half). This is false and a dangerous thing to say. A cheating spouse may blame the other half, but it was their choice. There is nothing a spouse can do to make someone be loyal or make someone be a cheater.

True the husband (or wife) maybe a complete azz, but that doesn't cause someone to cheat.

And when someone blames their other half for there affair, they reveal more about there own problem then they realize.

Fear

Leigh, and msharmony

You are both by far superior to me in education. I aint that good with grammer or spellin as you is. But that's ok with me. I don't desire anymore to be superior in those areas. I am actually kind of bright but have always had a challenge with spelling. I use to feel judged and inferior by it. OK some folks do judge people on this criteria. Key word there is 'feel' (yes I will get to the point). See it doesn't really matter if others judge me unless I put value on what others think. And sometimes we put other peoples values over our own.

This is were all hell breaks loose. We MUST value ourselves more than care what others think. I know now why my spelling sucks. I know how to change it. And if I put the time in to re-study English grammar and spelling, it will get better. I fully know it could get to be superior to others. But I would do it because I want to and not because of some fear of what others think.



My point?

This is were feminism, (and many other movements) fail. It doesn't feed off a need; it feeds off of ladies feelings of being inadequate, unimportant, undervalued, inferior, weak, and disrespected. It actually creates these feelings in ladies and society. It is its own problem.

To accomplish its mission, feminism tells other ladies who are content on being a house wife or 'just' a mans wife that she is weak, uneducated, unimportant, inferior and less than she can be.

Next, feminism attempts to create fairness. This sounds good right? Here is the problem. What part of the world is fair? It's not. The world is self driven. Its power hungry. it seeks its own survival. Feminism attempts to create the impossible. Fairness in an unfair world.

Like many other moments. In the end feminism, in its attempt to create farness becomes self driven, power hungry and seeks it own survival. It becomes unbalanced and unfair.

My divorce recovery counselor put it this way. Fairness is a childish concept you need to get past.

I agree with him in part. I stopped expecting the world to be fair but I chose to still be fair to others. That puts me inline with my values and helps me stop putting the world’s values before mine.

Back to the point.

I submit to you and msharmony (and lots of other people, probably all of us) that your fight is more about your own feelings than for the rights of all ladies of the world. That the way the world was balanced at the time of your birth had little to do with how you feel. That someone or something along the way planted a seed of opportunity to feel inferior and create in you the need to change the world. When what really needs to change for your peace and happiness is inside and won’t change an ounce with the world changing.

That’s the lie of the promise of the feminist movement. That women will feel more empowered when it accomplishes its goal of equality. Feminism cannot fix the inner feelings that are binding you.

I actually take the time to write this because I find myself caring about you (both of you). Not to argue with you. But to share the lessons I had to learn to find peace. To stop waiting for the world to change for me to find joy. The world will go on. Bad things will happen,. Unfairness will rule. Power hungry people and governments will take advantage. Special interest groups will put there needs above everyone else’s. This won’t change. And while belonging to a special interest like Feminism gives one a sense of power, control and authority, it will always be just a Band-Aid to hidden inner feelings that won’t truly be healed until faced and accepted.

Anytime you try to make something not true, true, there is chaos.

The goal for equality between two non equal entities will never be true.

Believing its true still wont make it true.

Believing a lie only makes you a fool, doesn't make the lie a truth.

A bolt will never be a nut. And a nut will never be a bolt. Sorry Chaz. But they function quite well together. Each will always have its purpose.

But what damage has been caused for both sides of this equation in this useless goal of making a nut equal to the bolt.

And for the record, there are strengths and powers a nut has that a bolt never will. It doesn't make one more important than the other. Just different.

so all you nuts out there who which to be equal to a bolt, find peace and embrace being a nut.

And keep in mind. a healthy strong bolt doesn't want a nut that doesn't want to be a nut.

550

Your in our hearts, thoughts and prayers Gar. We know there are very hard days. Your not alone friend.

http://youtu.be/5EPRSvFOyIE

Here is something to cheer you up.

Wow. Maybe all the people who are born in February are in content relationships with people born in December. Just a thought.

lol

I like Chris Rock.

Good post.

We all seem to need to feel loved and respected. But in my healing process, I learned even when I am loved or not or respected or not wasn't the goal. The goal was for me to be lovable and respectable and not worry if others get it right.

when I got to the point that my lovably and respectability was no longer defined by others, I was free to love without conditions and show others respect even when they may not deserve it.

I am still working on these things. But how nice it is to be on this roan in my life now.

I am not a skinny guy and there are skinny ladies who like me. Some like thick guys and some like my personality. Most like the fact that I treat them in a why that makes them feel good about themselves when they are with me.

But I am not comfortable being heavy. So I work out and am losing weight for me. Well the the Doc is a jerk too and she demands that I do also. She is judgmental. I told her if she doesn't like me heavy then Ill dump her and I'll go get another doctor. Plenty of Docs in the world.

Sounds like your really in-touch with your body. I wish I was.














I mean in touch with my own body. What?

I don't like being in a funk. One of the reasons I am content with being single.

Many prayers are lifted up for you. And that will continue. Glad to see you have family around you.

I am not Navy girl but Can I give a response.

Yes our images are important.


He probably felt wimpy for not changing his own tire. And he probably wants to feel manly with you. But thats a self image issue. If he thinks it was wimpy, he probably assumed you did too.

By reminding him of it at the end of the 'date' probably just activated his feelings and insecurity. You intended to express that it was no big deal to you but his insecurity keeps him from seeing it from your view.

Don't address it again unless he brings it up. Never bring things like that up. let him. If he does, touch his hand and tell him it was fine with you. Then drop it again.


Oh and don't touch his hand if you are not interested in him.

Wow. That was one heck of a cake. I hope you shared it.

Happy birthday Mike.