On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.
The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.

One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane."I'm too young to die," she wails. Then she yells, "Well,if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then an Italian man stands up in the rear of the plane. He is gorgeous, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt........one button at a
time.

No one moves........He removes his shirt........Muscles ripple across his chest........She gasps..........and He says to her......

"Iron this, and get me something to eat ........."

good one

Sorry to hear you are not feeling well. I got flu a couple years ago and the same thing happened to me. About a day or two after the shot, I felt sick. When asked by my doc this year about getting a shot, I told him I was going to get sick either way, so I'd save some $$$ and skip the shot. Hope you feel better soon.

Thank you much

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around looking for valuables; and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange disembodied voice said " Jesus is watching you".

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze. Whe he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score and then clicked the flashlight back on in search of more valuables.

Just as he was pulling the television to disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard "Jesus is watching you". Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room his flashlight beam came to rest of a parrot.

"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.
"Yep" confessed the parrot.
The burglar relaxed "Warn me huh? Who are you to warn me?"
"Moses" replied the parrot.
"Moses" the burglar laughed "What kind of people name a bird Moses?"
The parrot said "The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus"

Good one

Love it

Being in public service myself... I need some Damnitol...stat Love the post

Doing great and welcome to JSH

That's funny

If you need a recipe, let me know...or if you need tips on preparing them. I gave the recipe to a relative and she jacked it all up...not sure how she did it. But then again this is the only person I know who can make a standard left turn and blow out both driver side tires

Have you ever tried enchiladas? Quick and simple.