My father was a police officer for 32 years and he was trained (get that word) to be very introverted about everything. They are trained to share nothing about their work with their spouse or significant other. They are trained to be cautious, investigative about everything. They are trained to be constantly looking for something that isn't quite right about any situation. It's something that my mother and I had to get used to. My father NEVER discussed his work with us. It was totally taboo. You either understand it and realize it has absolutely nothing to do with you or your relationship you are seeking, but does reflect on the relationship you two will be sharing. He won't be very open and forthright with you due to that word....training. It's just an inbred response system that is tough at best to deal with. Only a rare lady can handle it. My mother was one. I didn't marry in the field myself. Couldn't deal with the secretivity. Jane

I have wondered that very same thing. Here's a book you need. It's called Catch Him and Keep Him by Christian Carter. Fabulous working tool for women who face these kinds of situations and learning how to read the signals long before you get to this phase. You need this book as much as I did. It has changed the way I date and the way I perceive a potential partner. Jane

You wanted a guy to answer and I am answering for a guy. Christian Carter is a dating coach and has a book out Catch Him and Keep Him. I found myself everywhere in that book. From just reading your message, you are all in that book too. I highly recommend it to receive the appropriate answers you are looking for. Relationships are hard at best, but we women can make them even more difficult by the responses we give to the men we date. I can't possibly go into the book here, but it is well worth the approx. $30 spent to gain the fabulous insight it contains. I won't be making the same stupid mistakes again and now I have valuable lessons which I can apply with the next man...I am about to meet!! I don't want to blow it with this one so I am trying hard to apply some of the hundreds of tidbits given in this book. I know you don't want to blow it either the next time around. I hope you'll get his book. It's a great tool. Jane