Thanks ... a ton

Any directions where to find ricotta cheese in phoenix? I tried wallmart, frys , sprouts albertson with no luck.

Adopt a terrorist

A lady Canadian libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the
government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. She received back the following reply:


National Defence Headquarters
MGen George R. Pearkes Bldg, 15 NT
101 Colonel By Drive
Ottawa , ON K1A 0K2 Canada

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.

Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa. You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself; we are creating a new department here at the Department of National Defense, to be called 'Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or
L.A.R.K. for short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to divert one terrorist and place him in your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally
demanded in your letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers.. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommend in your letter.

Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his 'attitudinal problem' will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We
understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.
Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time.
Just remember that it is all part of 'respecting his culture and religious beliefs' as described in your letter.

Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man. You take good care of Ahmed and remember, we'll be watching. Good luck and God bless you.

Cordially,
Gordon O'Connor
Minister of National Defense

dreamy eyes

hmm may be its like watchin a show free :)

1. Warm water with salt for gurgle.(5-6 times at least)
2. Anbesol
3. Clove Oil
4. Ibuprofen and paracetamol (over the counter)

Never love a love that hurts
never hurt a love that loves
so ....
Go for the girl who loves you.

Thanks for getting back Charles. We appreciate that.

Ok hope this does not continue tomorrow...

its showing some authentication failure error. Any idea why this is coming?

Thanks a lot. Well i ain't goin there for night life but I don want to miss the night by just sleeping . So better make every possible effort to utilise the 3 days & nights lol

Thanks again

Cool. I heard at night there are not any place inside park to visit, so I was wondering if there is any place nearby.

Here is where I will stay
West Yellowstone
1545 Targhee Pas Hwy.

As you know the place well, may be you can guide someplaces you would recommend to visit inside park.

Thanks in advance.

google did not return much things of interest. If any one visited any spend good time then the experience sharing would add value

I am going to yellow stone park on a 3 day trip from 24 May to 26 May. Is there any place near by where I can hang out at night?

Litte Boy: Daddy, where did I come from?
Daddy: You came from the stork
Little Boy: Ewww, you ****ed a stork?

During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says to her students:

"If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"

Mike replies: "Wait a minute, I'm going for a p."

Teacher: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."

Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."

Teacher: "That's much better but to mention the word "toilet" during a meal, is unpleasant."

Billy: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner."
The teacher passed out..

Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors,with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. >
>The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return. >
>A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping center to find some husbands...

> >First floor
>The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." >The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.

>>Second floor
>The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are >extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?"


>Third floor
>This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow," said the women"Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went.

>>Fourth floor
>This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on! So up to the fifth floor they went.

>>Fifth floor

>The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are f**king impossible to please. The exit is to your left,we hope you fall down the stairs."

A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in. He sees a guy leaping out of the window.
Wie yells: That guy just screwed me twice in the dark!
Husband: Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once?
Wife: Because I thought it was you, until he started the second time.

Farmer John was taking his cow and it's new born calf to sell in the auction. On the way farmer John got robbed by thieves, who beat him up, stripped him of his clothes and tied him to a tree. Then taking the mother cow and John's clothes, the thieves escaped. They, however left the new born calf behind.

Poor farmer John suffered as for two days, he stood tied to a tree, stark naked and hungry. Fortunately, on the third day, some neighbors happened to pass by. They recognized John and untied him. When they did, farmer John picked up a huge stick and started bashing the calf with it.

"Why are you thrashing the poor calf?, his neighbors asked? To which farmer John replied, "I had to tell this beast for the past two days repeatedly that I am not your mother!, I am not your mother ........!!!"

When I was born, I got a choice- A big d**k or a good memory. I am not able to remember, what did I choose.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

My wife is a sex object. Evertime I ask for sex, she objects.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - don't and stop, unless they are used together.

Panties are not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.

There are three stages to sex in a person's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Virginity can be cured.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? .

Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the Hole and She was happy with the Thing......

Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.

Teacher: Use "harassment" in a sentence.
Johnny: Her mouth said 'no', but her ass meant 'yes'.

Q: What's the difference between a ***** and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a ***** sleeps with everyone except you.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed", many men still sleep with their wives !!!.