THATS WHATS UP much love to ya i got potnaz from chi town

you welcome my brutha just helping u out just in case u get lost in the wrong hood

Omellette.......this is a food

but in the HOOD!! this is how its used

I was gone pop a cap in his azz but OMELLETE him slide this time...

OMELLETTE

Your Truly.
AG (TRULYFE) LIVE LYFE, LIVE TRU

EBONIC ADVISORY MAKING JSH HOODER EVERDAY--YAY-YUH

fer sure= you mean fa sho?

BET/MTV are good programs haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

i aint even know they still aired fullhouse....haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Why are you still woke gimme a rundown????



Okay its 954am i just go to work and i read through my emails and just logged on JSH...

THATS MY STORY AND I'M STICKIN TO IT

my be a bush outta this world lmaoooooooo damn hun

what makes you sexy?

whats your best feature?

and what about u brings all the boys to the yard?

think about the recession we are about to go into

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** knows I'm smarter than her.

picking a booger, either at your desk, in class or in your car, if so, by who, and what did you do, where did you put the booger, did you wait till the coast was clear.

i banged a super cougar , she was 42....growl

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. In this country . . .we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives . . . "

Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sex?

I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'."

I'VE GOT $5.00 THAT SAYS YOU'RE GONNA READ THIS AGAIN

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a
Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with
that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over
Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8 . Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All
Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party
Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By

Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream
"I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot y elling
, "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To
Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. Final way to keep a healthy level of insanity......... chat with TRULYFE(TRULYFE.COM)

One evening, Mike went over to his friend, Terry's, house to play
cards with some friends. Mike sat directly across from Terry's wife.
Mike dropped a card on the floor and bent down to pick it up. When he
looked across the table he saw that Terry's wife had her legs wide
open and no panties on. He sat up and was flushed. He went into the
kitchen to get a drink of water. To his surprise, Terry's wife had
followed him into the kitchen and said "Did you like what you saw?" Mike said, "Yes, I did!"
Terry's wife said, "Well, you can get more than that but it will cost
you $500." So Mike thought about his financial situation and said okay.
She said, "Come here tomorrow at 2:30 because Terry will be at work."
Mike said, "I'll see you then." The next day Mike went over, they had
sex, he paid her, then he left. Later Terry came home and asked, "Has
Mike been over here today?" Thinking she had been caught, she said "As
a matter of fact, he did." Terry said "Good, because that fool came by
my job this morning and asked to borrow $500 until this evening, and
he said he would leave it with you."


NOW THAT'S A TRUE PLAYAH!!!!

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack
Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in
an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the
fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N.
Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, ! a
high school drop out. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt
divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids
were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was
then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son
with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the
other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable
throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in
a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently
returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct
them.


Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt

What you think?

10-not enuff sex
9-being the bad girl-aka frisky behavior
8-self esteem
7-revenge/payback for past affairs
6-lack of intimacy
5-feeling neglected/ignored/underappreciated
4-your emotional withdrawal
3-bedroom boredom
2-exit strategy-aka break-up
1-revenge for your cheating (not past but present). hell has no fury like a woman scorned.

HUSBAND'S LETTER:

A husband wrote the following letter to his wife and left it on the dining room table:

"To My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 64 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you, and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18-year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset ... I shall be back home before midnight."

When the man came home late that night he found the following letter on the dining room table:

"To My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 64 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 64 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you're at the Comfort Inn, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, he is 18 years old. As a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference. 18 goes into 64 a lot more times than 64 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow."

6 truths of life:
> >
> >
> > 1) You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue.
> >
> >
> >
> > 2) All idiots, after reading the first truth will try it.
> >
> >
> >
> > 3) The first truth is a lie.
> >
> >
> >
> > 4) You're smiling now cause you are a idiot.
> >
> >
> >
> > 5) You will soon forward this to another idiot.
> >
> >
> >
> > 6) There's still a stupid smile on your face.

if u using just the uniform u messing up bruh. you gotta use ya mouth talk to em. i make the uniform look good, and ima MARINE

so just that alone gets me in,,but u...Navy..shipmate