God its great to be Irish

1. Why do Blondes wear Hoop earrings?

A place to hook there ankles

2. What did the blonde learn in Drivers Education?

That you can actually sit up in a car.

3. Why do Blondes like Tilt Steering wheels?

More head room

4. Why do Blondes wear panties?

To keep there ankles warm

5. What do you call a smart blonde?

A Golden Retreiver

6. What goes Blonde,Brunette,Blonde Brunette,Blonde,Brunette

A naked Blonde doing a cart wheel

LMAO

A blonde,wearing a Walk-man,walks into a Great Clips to get her hair done. She sits down in the chair and the beautician and her are talking . The beautician tells the Blonde that she is going to have to remove her headphones until the hair cut is over. The Blonde states that she can not remove the headphone or she will surely die! After a couple of minutes of trying to get the Blonde to remove the headphones the beautician gives in and lets her keep the headphones on.
After about 10 minutes the blonde falls asleep and the beautician decided to remove the headphones finish the cut,put the headphones back on and then wake up the blonde. sounds like a good plan. So the beautician removed the headphones and sure enough the blonde dies! The beautician calls 911 for the Ambulance and while she is waiting she wonders what was so special about the headphones so she picks them up and listens and repeating over and over again and again are 4 words "BREATH IN BREATH OUT"

What is the heaviest substance known to man?

Sh4t, even an elephant can't hold it!

If I would have been the cop that had to arrest the father he would not have made it to Jail and the only bail hearing would have been mine! My thoughts and Prayers go out to the family,may the Lord give them strength and peace in this time of need!

There is no one way that is the universal trick to dealing with death. When I was 16 my older brother who was a Marine and spent 2 tours of service in Vietnam and came home and was out for a couple of years was killed in an industrial accident it was sudden and I did not get a chance to be with him when he died there was so much I wanted to ask him and learn from him I felt cheated that he was taken away so quickly.I just try and remember the memories I have of him.
When I was 38 my Mom passed away. She had been in the hospital for a little while and we knew it was only a matter of time and we just sat with her and talked about all our memories we had and the time we had left with her was our special time to make peace with her,to ask her for forgiveness if need be and to laugh a little at some of the things that happened over the years.
So if you have ANY time at all left with your love one sit and talk and spend QUALITY time together its much better than Quanity of time.

Did you hear about the Gay Whale? It bites the ends off Submarines and sucks out the seamen

Here is one to add to your list I have it on my truck "I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass!"

Being a Vet It brought a tear. If we agree or disagree with what is going on in the world today let us not forget the ones on the front lines.My thoughts and prayers are with them and there families. GOD bless them and Godspeed

I too have seen this poem it has been around for a long time and it still bring a lump to my throat. I am a Vet and I have spent a few Christmas's away from loved ones. With each and every day I pray for the Safe and quick return of our troops.

Zanne I am so glad you got your Christmas wish make this one a special one because you never know he maybe deployed on the next one. GOD BLESS AND GODSPEED to all of our troops!

I'm another newbie excellent advice K could not have said it any better!