Not sitting at my computer at 7 53 friday morning in okinawa japan with my friends and family all back in the states.

i nac tub ti koot em a dnoces rof ti oot ekam esnes

lol, is that what theyre calling it?!?!

hey thanks everyone for the birthday wishes i appreciate it!

happy birthday to me....hope i can remember it!!!

two friends are walking through the woods...they stop to take a break and sit down. one of the friends jumps up and screams; hes been bit right on his johnson. his buddy comes over and asks whats wrong and the guy says a rattle snake bit me on my unit quick look in the emergency book and find what it says to do about a snake bite. so the buddy looks in the emergency book and reads to himself what it says..."in the case of a venomous snake bit immediately suck the poison out of the area bit by the snake..." the guy screams dude what does it say man what does it say. and the buddy tells him "dude its says youre gonna die!!"

hahahaha that is hilarious

not to sound sexist or anything, but statistically men are better drivers than women...but its only by like .3 percent

cant say i would...

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanic's correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then the pilot's review the gripe sheets right before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack of sense of humour.

Here are some of the actual maintenance complaint submitted by the Qantas pilots (as marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (as marked with an S) by the maintenance engineers.

By the way, it is relevant to note that Qantas is the only major airline in the world that has never, ever, had an accident!

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire

P: Test flight okay, accept auto land very rough
S: Auto land not installed on this aircraft

P: Something loose in the cockpit
S: Something tightened in the cockpit

P: Dead bugs on the windshield
S: Live bugs on backorder

P: Auto pilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute dissent
S: Cat reproduce problem on ground

P: Evidence of a leak on the right main landing gear
S: Evidence removed

P:DME volume unbelievably loud
S DME volume reset for a more believable level

P: Fiction locks cause throttle levers to stick
S: That's what fiction locks are for

P:IFF inappropriate in OFF mode
S:IFF always an appropriate in OFF mode

P: Suspected crack in windshield
S: Suspect you're right

P: The number three engine is missing
S: Engine found on right Wing after a brief search

P: Aircraft handles funny
S: aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious

P: Target radar hums
S: Reprogram target radar with lyrics

P: Mouse in cockpit
S: Cat installed

P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer

S: Took the hammer away from the midget

its the only thing i can think of, honestly im trying to think of something else, most of the jokes i know you need to see in person cause there is some action that goes a long with em.

a blind man mistakenly stumbles into a female biker bar one night. he finds his way to the bar and sits for a few minutes. he notices there is someone sitting next to him so he leans over and says hey do you want to hear a blond joke. the woman replies sir before you make that joke i would like you to know that the woman behind the bar is blond and has a baseball bat. the woman behind you was a wrestling champ and is 6 feet tall and blond, the bouncer at the door is also blond and is a weight lifting champion, the woman next to you is blond and holding a pool stick, and i am also blond, now that you know this sir do you still wish to tell your joke. and the man responds "not if i have to explain it 5 times"

people like me should be shot...right boss cause you know me. and who the hell said they were dressing up for me?? i said they do it and complain about how they are treated. try putting some thought into what you read...that is if it doesnt hurt your thinking apparatus...oops big word, i meant your brain.

"thats profiling and profiling is wrong, he was pulling over everyone driving down that particular part of the side walk" Ron White...sorry could not resist. but im not profiling nor saying all dress like that, im saying the ones that do! you dress how you want people to look at you. i dress very nice because i want people to look at me and think theres a respectable looking young man. how you dress sends a message about yourself. if you look like a hoe people are going to think you are even if you arent. you can look sexy without looking like you should be on the corner.

you look around on like myspace or even on this site, or go to a club or just walk through the mall. women will post pics of themselves half naked, in lingerie, or some sexy out fit...and they will walk through the stores with the skimpiest, borderline slutty outfit they can find. but then get upset if a guy treats them like a piece of ass...what the hell?!?! ive heard plenty of girls complian about it but come on you cant look like a hoe and not expect to be treated like one, and then get upset when you are.

i agree you break up with the ones that are too sweet when it seems they are the ones you need to look for. if you keep pursuing the same type of guy you are going to get the same situation every time.

well you shouldnt be with someone you refer to as a scum bag just because you are lonely. its not really your fault for the whole them having a g.f. they should have been up front about it. just have to be patient when its your turn i guess youll find your mr. right you dont want to rush into something because then it could be completely what you didnt want. im learning to be patient myself

nothing wrong with that...

cool