I have been looking at and talking to friends that are my age that have lost spouses and have since remarried. I have noticed most of them found classmates or family friends that they have know for years. I think they look at each other and see them when they were much younger.

Could be wrong and I hope I am as I married the first girl I dated and then after 14 years she had "find herself" and divorced me (she remarried 1 week after our divorce to a fellow that had been divorced 1 day - seems a quick romance to me - she died 4 months to the day after my wife died). I know leave it alone and go one - I really have even though you might not think so - after a VERY bloody divorce I had no intension to every get back with her.

I married my last wife after dating her for 3 months - it lasted 28 very good years so I must have either been smart or very luck - or both. I choose to think both.

So, no one to date or look and and see them as they were when we were in school, etc. Well, I will just have to man up and look at new acquaintances when I start to really get lonely.

George

vivian2981, I undertand and am not looking for a duplicate wife. I am jsut looking for someone and do not want to "settle" and I do not want them to do so either.

BTW, I looked at your pictures - when was the "snow bunny" picture taken? WOW.

George

Thanks, that is kind of what I have been thinking - ie too soon even though it has been a year. BUT I married the first girl I ever dated so I am kind of concerned about going out and not getting into a seroius relationship.

Single scares the bejesus out of me..............

Please take this question as sincere and meant in all honesty.

What age to you see your self in your "mind's eye". I am a 63 year old widower and see myself as about 40.

Let me give you a little background - I marred my late wife when I was 35 and she was 24. We were married for 28 years and I always saw her as a young girl and myself a a young man. We were VERY close and I never saw her as getting old, but as my young bride I marred many years ago. She died last January and I am alone except for my two dog-daughters for the first time in my life (I was married before when I was 20 and only was single on year before I remarried 29 years ago).

Here is my dilemma - As I see myself as about 40, the women that are my age seem to be to be about my parents age - not the age I saw my wife as. I know this seems shallow, but please do not beat me up about this as I am trying to be as up front and honest as I know how to be.

My question to you is, "What age do you see yourself in your "mind's eye" and if it is much younger that you are, how do you look at potential life mates that are near your calender age and find them physically attractive? This is a serious question and I hope you do not find it vain or immature.

George

First, the in "about (me) section some of the members report that the kids are living with the X or live at home only sometimes. I have noted this response on a number of cases for matches to me of women from 50 to 60.

I raised my son as a single parent from the age of 8 when I was divorced so I kind of have a little insight as to why some divorced women are NOT raising their children. I also know of the hardship of raisng a child by yourself. My children are now grown and have good educations and families of their own - why would they not live away from me?

Perhaps I am carrying some of my past experience (baggage) into this question and I am sure it is not applicable to most other people. That is why I asked the question.

It has nothing to do with being divorced and I know there are various reasons for not having the kids living with Mom. I was just asking a question.

You guys and gals, won't need to respond to me as I will not be returning to the Community Section after this reception. Life is just a bit to short.............


And by the way, I am not a Gramp dear.

I notice some profiles that state the lady is divorced and her kids live with the X. That does not bod well for my thoughts on her being a stable person to establish long term relationship with.

Your thoughts?

George

My wife and I had been married for 26 years when she died of cancer after a year of treatment and pain. She was 11 years younger than me and I could see no earthly way she would not out live me. She has been gone a year now and I feel lonely but also feel guilty about wanting some form of relationship - so far I have not even met anyone for coffee. My wife's married lady friends from work meet me once a month for lunch during the week and this has been very nice but not the same.

Being alone scares the be-jesus out of me and I would really like to find someone that is retired and financially secure like I am - no clinging kids, drugs, alcohol, smoking, overwhelming poor health or financial problems PLEASE.

I went to a grief share class but it was just way too religious oriented for me and did nto help at all - I do not think this is a problem as I was so relieved for my wife when her suffering was over.

Are there any group meetings or social functions that would allow me to meet and mingle? I am 63 years old and very active.