I don't know. My dad sent it to me this morning and I decided to share.

1. If you think that you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat, if it is up, put it down.

3. Don’t cut your hair ever.

4. Sometimes we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.

5. Get rid of the CATS.

6. Sunday = Sports.

7. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

8. Women wearing Wonder Bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about their boobs being stared at.

9. You have too many shoes.

10. Crying is blackmail.

11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.

12. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.

13. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.

14. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

15. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

16. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.

17. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

18. If you don’t dress like Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guy’s.

19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

20. Let us Ogle, If we don’t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are.

21. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.

22. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done-not both.

23. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.

24. You have enough clothes.

25. Nothing says “I LOVE YOU “ like sex.

Hello and welcome. I love your photo with the chains. Does it have a deeper meaning or is it just an awesome picture?

Oh yeah, and Manny Ramirez.

The soluton to your problem has become the solution to ours; good leadership. Go Dodgers!!

Peut-être un gars régulier vous déplacerait plus

There's a fine line between flirting and seduction but thats what makes it fun and dangerous.

It seems that common sense and reason have come to visit.

Well, I'd go buy a lotto ticket. It can only get better from here.

Thank you, yours too. I would like to mention that whoever took your picture made you look an awful lot like a flower. You might want to get a refund.

After having received lukewarm responses to what I though was an undeniably perfect profile, I have altered my perception of reality to redefine perfection.

Criteria:

If you can read through my profile and either smile or chuckle, then the profile is a success. If you do not, then, I hate to tell you but you have no sense of humor. Your life is dry and meaningless and I highly recommend that you publicly humiliate yourself at your first opportunity to refocus your perspective.

Thanks and have a great day!

H.H. Holmes, America's first documented serial killer.

I'd like to let everyone know that I can hold my own.

Thank you. I already feel left out. I have some catching up to do. I like the 'perv' thing though. That cracks me up.

This is going to be fun!!!

I am not sure how long I have been a member but I just realized that there is community. So, hello. My name is Sean and it is a pleasure to be here.