1. If you think that you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat, if it is up, put it down.

3. Don’t cut your hair ever.

4. Sometimes we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.

5. Get rid of the CATS.

6. Sunday = Sports.

7. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

8. Women wearing Wonder Bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about their boobs being stared at.

9. You have too many shoes.

10. Crying is blackmail.

11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.

12. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.

13. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.

14. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

15. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

16. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.

17. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

18. If you don’t dress like Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guy’s.

19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

20. Let us Ogle, If we don’t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are.

21. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.

22. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done-not both.

23. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.

24. You have enough clothes.

25. Nothing says “I LOVE YOU “ like sex.

Thats the reason Christopher Columbus never managed to make it to INDIA, where he was trying to go........

Wasn't this just posted recently?

I don't know. My dad sent it to me this morning and I decided to share.

WOW, that clears up so much!!!!