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Community > Posts By > chocofancy


chocofancy Joined Mon 08/09/10 Posts: 6	Sun 08/15/10 04:56 PM Topic: How serious are women for relationship here?
ok, lets pose the question ........ How serious are men on this site as far as looking for a serious relationship.... other than for sexual gratification ? lol Fair enough to ask! I asked the question about women because I am a man and I am serious... :)

chocofancy Joined Mon 08/09/10 Posts: 6	Sun 08/15/10 11:29 AM Topic: How serious are women for relationship here?
I am in my late 30's and looking for a serious relationship. I am new to this site so I was wondering how serious are women here in looking for a serious relationship? Can anybody share their experience here so far? Thanks. P.S. I live in Ottawa, Canada.

chocofancy Joined Mon 08/09/10 Posts: 6	Sun 08/15/10 11:24 AM Topic: Separated, not yet divorced: How fast will a woman run away?
When someone stays attached to someone is for a reason, i believe one must be mentally cleared that is it, and that there is no going back,but until then is when the big decision needs to be made. the paper work is not hard, what is hard is to make the decision. it took me 5 yrs to finally obtain the courage to do it, once the feelings are out, the decision is easier and less painful. each person is different. My first husband and I split in 1995 , we lived seperate lives at seperate residences, I wasnt planning to remarry and neither was he, we both struggled to support ourself and our children, we didnt find the legal fees or the investment of time worth it just to have papers saying what we already knew. I finally met someone interested in marriage in 2003 and in 2004 my ex and I got 'legally' divorced. it never came up when I dated, it never needed to, I lived in my own place with no husband, paid my own bills with no alimony, as far as anyone in my life was concerned,, there was no husband to deal with. We have a son and we 'shared' custody long before the paperwork said so. We were just the same as a divorced couple without papers to say so. I just think each situation is different. Someone can still have emotional ties to an ex even though they never married and someone can be done even though they never got divorced. The only way to know is to get to know what THAT person is like, how they are living, what their social situation is..... on a sidenote: I have been there(dating while still married on paper) and I dont judge others harshly for doing so even though I dont condone having an intimate relationship, as I did then, while still married because in hindsight I see that it went against what is Christian, but I think going out and getting to know people is fine as long as noone is being mislead. Superb answer right there! Each person or each situation should be treated differently. We should not be generalizing unless it is based on solid scientific research on the issue, not just purely on our personal opinions (even if they are good and respectable opinions as I think they are). I have been separated for more than 2 years and there is no way to going back to my ex. We have a son and she has full custody because we live significantly far apart and I accepted the situation since it was best for our son. I see my son still as often as I can. She lives with someone else now and I do my things too. I dated since then but I am still looking for someone for a serious relationship. I know some women or men judge people by their status as of married, separated and all of that. It's too bad in lots of situations. Like mine, there is no reason to worry about the ex or me going back to her. It will never going to happen. Our divorce should be finalized soon but it's not a reason for me NOT to get involve for a serious relationship and start over with another woman. Again, it's my situation and it's definitely different than for others. We should not assumed that all separated people should wait until they are divorced to date or have a serious relationship again... It depends!

chocofancy Joined Mon 08/09/10 Posts: 6	Sun 08/15/10 11:05 AM Topic: Single black men
Black, Athletic, Professional, Single, but live in Ottawa (Canada)... Is it too bad? :)

chocofancy Joined Mon 08/09/10 Posts: 6	Sun 08/15/10 10:54 AM Topic: How Ottawa people are doing here?
I am a gentleman here in Ottawa and looking forward to chatting with nice women from the city. Also, can you share how your experience has been here at Mingle?