I am separated and have (and let me make this clear) NO intention of reconciling with my ex. She is a hurtful, bothered woman who lies like a bearskin rug and getting away from her is the best decision I've made in many years.

In mentioning this, as I've discussed with both men and women, a good cross section of available women will say "...that's okay, but thank you for showing interest. TAXI!" because of fear of reconciliation or the ex reappearing.

While I understand that, how exactly can I reassure a potential soulmate that I:

A ) Would rather be staked to a fire ant hill in the Australian Outback than interact with that woman again

B ) Do all I can to cultivate our relationship and make sure that the ex is never mentioned or seen?

If it isn't tough enough being this particular age, not looking like Enrique Iglesias, or pulling down a $60,000 a year salary, I have to compete with this aspect too?

I'm just whining, I know. But it's a valid whine, no?
Goes well with fish AND chicken? (Ba dump bump )

Get the divorce done. It will make your life much easier...

I've never had a problem dating while separated, but that's just me.

You'll probably still do better than someone who was "single/never married."

i can tell you this
there was a guy i used to be with for 2yrs. when i first met him. he had been separated from his wife for over 5yrs and there was no way in shape or form they would even get back. he didnt know how to do a self divorce. so i help him with the process for i did mine over 20yrs ago...so if the person is separated and knowing there isent going to be anymore. i dont see a problem.. you just need to get your divorce

I have dated men who were separated and let me tell you it just doesn't work. There are just too many things that get in the way and the best thing is to get your divorce finalized then worry about finding your soulmate. Some divorces can take forever and it's not fair to make someone wait for you to get your ducks in order so that you can move on to more serious things in a relationship.

I agree with grneyedldy

Could not agree more.....

I don't date men that are separated.

Shshshs file that paper work solves a lot of issues.........

Even though I have dated men that were separated........to me just being separated is like starting a project and half azz fixing it in order to get by....... Get a divorce and get out of the issues with your past first no one wants to be reminded that your past may stop the future that could be ahead..................

I am in the same situation, there is not going back.

at this point I am just waiting to finalize divorce... but I am not pushing to get someone in my life any more.

seperation is always a red flag... so many people got involved with a sperated person and ended up getting hurt.

You may have decided to be done with the ex, but she might not be done with you. And unless there are divorce papers, she just might be comming back to wreak havoc in your life and the life of a potental new partner. Is that really how you want to start off a new relationship? I can tell you, I would want no part of it.

It is expected that u will get that type of reaction. There r many relationships with x drama that sometimes people would rather not find out. On that note however, they may b missing out on meeting a amazing person. Let's face it we all have our histories and as much as we would like to meet our celebrity cut outs this is who we r .......real everyday people. C-Ya :D

Agree totally

So the general feeling is to wait until after I'm divorced to approach a woman?

At least where most women will be concerned.

I understand everything that's been said and I appreciate the quick feedback.

Wow, this is going to be a long period of desolation.
Anyone have any ideas on how to deal?

Concentrate on getting the paperwork and whatever emotional issues from the divorce done and out of the way. Work on you!

I agree. It takes time to heal and get to know yourself again.

findathirdworldbridebabe.dot.com

I only run if I'm being chased by a big, mean, scary axe murderer, but I'd probably do a slow mosey in the opposite direction.

I usually finish one book before starting a new one, but that's just me. I get confused easily.

It doesnt have to be desolate. Go out in the world and be with your friends. Finish the paper work and then seek out your new romantic interest.