AAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCC - BS CHhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooo

Life.....what an awesome journey

Top Ten Things Men Would Do If They Woke Up And Had A Vagina For


10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and
cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour
and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong
ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes...
BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be
ready for more without sleeping first. (Yeah!)

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and
ask to have it recorded on video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts,
too...

And, the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they
woke up with a vagina...

1. Finally find that damned G-spot.

Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

You watch the Weather Channel.

Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.

You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.

Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.

Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset,rather than settle, your stomach.

You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

"I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."

90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you!!!

Must be my damn bifoculs then LOL

Welll duhhhhhhhhhhh, there are several variations of BLACK so we need 5 pairs of BLACK shoes LOL

And a good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible LOL

Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes............

SHALL I CONTINUE??????????? ...............

HHHmmmmm may have to rethink this.... I have a couple dust bunnies I can't bear to lose....

My luck too I would be dressed and giving him pepper on purpose ROFL

Chained up??? HHmmmmmm

Better to build my hut over by the Lair Entrance LOL

I better reload my archery stuff, you'd think for being a Sag. I'd have good aim LOL

What book would you recommend for Dragon Housebreaking 101??


I might him another chance LOL

The teacher told her class the word of the day was "dictate" and asked who could spell it.

George raised his hand and he spelled out, "d-i-k-t-a-t-e."

The teacher said, "sorry that's wrong" Then she asked Stephen.

Stephen slowly spelled out, "d-i-c-k-t-a-t-e."

"Sorry" says the teacher, "that's not right either."

Next, she asked Fiona After a slight pause Fiona began spelling, "d-i-c-t-a-t-e."

"Very good Fiona," applauded the teacher, "that's correct. Now," the teacher continued, "who can use this word in a sentence?"

Stephen raised his hand quick as a flash shouting, "I know-I know,"

"OK" replied the teacher, "please use the word Stephen."

Stephen responded, "How did my dictate last night, Fiona?"

ummmmmmmmmmmmm to hell with unscrambled....
I don't want mine even fertilized

but I am sure Red could do a trick on you Carebear LOL

well the Lair was "open", took my shot, quivered and missed LOL
LOL
Ahhhhh to laugh again....

You know you've had too much coffee when I looked at your nic and thought whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that is deep..... whispers to a cream <----- as in coffee, sugar and ________ ROFL then came out of my latte moment and refocused to whispers to a scream and that made a lot more sense ROFL

I got something you can try to beat.....

I can outlast the Energizer bunny and I completed my CPR course 20 years ago....





Coffee Provides Resuscitation



"bring it"

um are you preggers?????????

Oh dear that is not funny that is sad LOL

yes.....

That's why the handheld adjustable sprayers are ranked #1 in markets LOL