Ok guys and gals...lets get busy...how is everyone doing these days?

Hello to you...regarding emotional craziness, sometimes i just scream my head off into a pillow, sob my heart out, feel sorry for myself for a while..then i pick myself up off the fllor again and carry on.....as aingle parent we all have to "carry on" which sometimes creates a huge stress level, so when i really cannot cope i just let go some (not all the way tho!!), then i can regroup and face whats in store again...

The thread continues because people still have words to say....everyone is entitled to an opinion...after all, you have yours, I have mine, and it is a good way to help others sort out their own feelings about such issues when adults can have a civilized discussion about such an enduring yet explosive issue such as physical consequences..
In the past i have given well-intentioned people an opportunity to spend time with my three children....they had no more luck than i did with their issues..even the specialists and therapists and such have come to the conclusion that on occasion, there is a place for a spank on the tail!!
I would love to be able to confidently shout out that my kids respond without any kind of physical consequence ever...but, unfortunately, there are a few occasions when that is what is needed..it can work, and appropriately so...period...full stop...

how is everyone? I see that spring and summer have meant no posts...thats a good thing, right?
Well, enjoy summer, maybe we can all meet back in the Fall...
hope everyone's children are having a blst with school being out...

where did everyone go from this board?
I have checked several times, but no-one has postred since March of this year...hellooooo, anyone out there?

Hi, i was brought up in Britain, and horribly abused until i ran away at age 14...however, i think the policy of no physical discipline/consequences at all is not acceptable either. I was just over there this past month on vacation for 3 weeks with my three very challenging children (special needs, mental illness, developmental issues, behavioral issues, physical issues), who at times can be incredibly "out of the box" with their behavior regardless of the many, many non-physical consequences i have used over the years (and these non-physical consequences are still my first, second, and third lines of defence by the way). Anyway, during our time there my children acted in some very inappropriate ways, and I used my littany of consequences..when they did not work on a couple of occasions, i spanked twice on the rear end....not only did they not suffer any lasting pain or indignity, but they straightened up...and I also received an overwhelming supportive response from the shopkeepres and other customers who were in the vicinity at the time of the events!!
Again, i don't advocate that a child should be beaten, and i only use a spank as a last resort, but I think that provided that one can genuinely balance disciplinary approaches effectively and appropriately, there should not be an across-the-board ban against parents rights to spank or swat their child's rear ends for a deserving misdemeanour.
I respect every ones opinions, I am very glad that some families never seem to need to spank or swat a child, but i also respect my right to be able to choose whether to swat my child in an approprite body location should their behavior warrant such action.
The therapists that work with my children are well aware of the manner I use to discipline my children, and are supportive..even the psych doctor agrees, so I am certainly not someone who just goes around beating on my children, but someone who is willing to consider the occasional use of my hand (hand only, nothing else, ever!!)on a rear end as a deterrent or consequence when all else fails.
Ok, thats my 5 cents worth, sorry it is so long, just had to get my side out :)

I have three beautiful special needs children and they have blessed me more than i can say, but their challenges have definitely caused break ups in my relationships with men, sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly....however, I must add, that when they are at their most challenging they have also cost me relationships with friends, both male and female, just because its so hard for those without special needs children to know what to say, do, act, etc, during one of those incidences. I have the support (mostly) of some great therapists, my church, a few close friends, and of course, God, and have come to believe that those who cannot handle my life with my children in it are not meant to be with me...short and sweet, but effective!!
I, most certainly would date someone with a special needs child, (and have done so) although I wonder if I would have been able to be so sure had I not had challenged children of my own?

Amanda, (single mom to 3 young children with a mix of bipolar, ODD, OCD, reactive attachment, sensory integrative disorder, ADHD, conduct disorder, behavioral disorder, autism, aspergers, ASD,and a whole host of physical and developmental ailments/challenges)

hello ladies...its been a while since i checked in, but glad to still see some familiar faces....I can so identify with what so many of you say.....and i also agree that these children of ours are special to us in many untold ways....sometimes i do get very, very frustrated, but their funny ways, charm, and unique way of seeing the world often makes me realize just how special to me they are...and who really gives a hoot about the rest of the world anyway when you have the most incredible gifts right there in your daily life?
Kudos to those who are doing what we do everyday, I think every once in a while it5s good to thank ourselves too, becuase our children are our future and the work and love and structure we provide now is what will help them be the best they can be...and i have high hopes for mine!!
Hugs to anyone who wants or needs one (Hugs are everywhere in my little family!!)
Amanda

not that i ever want my child to fall into water again (my now-6 year old holy terror fell into a rough reservoir outlet collection point when he was about 2 years old, the only thing that saved him was his puffy/quilted jacket...it was March and very cold!!)...i think that the ability to remain calm and float is a wonderful gift....NOT giving your child tools to help themselves in the first place could be considered child abuse!! Better a few tears and a living child than a dead one!!!

multiple challenges for my wonderful kiddos....all 3 have ADHD and Sensory Integrative Disorder, the oldest (8 yrs, boy)also has Aspergers, Bipolar (rapid cycle)OCD, and ODD; the middle one (boy, 6)has severe Conduct Disorder and Intermittent Explosive Disorder, possible Autism Spectrum Disorder, and possible Reactive Attachment Disorder; and my youngest (girl, age 5) has Generalized Behavior Disorder and Reactive Attachment Disorder...so my life stays full to say the least...I love them so much and want them all to have productive lives, but i do sometimes get very, very frustrated...then there are days when the simple joy of parenting just flows through the house...they are rare days tho...lol!!

hello all,
I am originally from Salisbury, England, been in the US for 20 years...I sure miss home this particular time of year...sigh..
Merry Xmas everyone, and Happy 2008 to come...
Amanda

Hi everyone...been a very challenging week or two on my end.....sometimes i just wanna dig a hole and bury myself.. sigh!!

Auburn...my oldest is bipolar, and his behavior is reminiscent of your grandchild's...however, ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) behavioral disorder, conduct disorder, intermittent explosive disorder, and RAD (reactive attachment disorder) (a real possibility in your situation)also result in the types of problems you describe..and it is amplified with ADHD.I would suggest calmly presenting the caseworker or case manager with a written request for evaluations...in addition, if you ask the school (in writing) for an IEP (Individual Education Program)they are obliged, by law, to poerform testing/evaluations, whichj would help you determine where the problems may lie..good luck, my prayers are with you...


Michele...sorry about the school situation....it can be rough...i have been there, done that....even when the teachers etc are on your side it can still be a negative experience...but stick with it, get yourself as informed as posible, and use every tool available to you so that your son can get the support he needs at school to do well.....i suggest doing a search on 504 and IEPs....its interesting and will give you some ideas on accomodations to ask for that will help your son do well....prayers, hon!!

CrazyCowGirl...God bless you and your sweet little miracle...we will pary for both of you...keep us posted on developments if you can...

Lonelyredheadgirl...hows the baby niece? Hope things are going well for her...

Twi....keep smiling:) You have a good attitude, and that helps alot :)

Everyone else...have a wonderful week, lets all enjoy the special bonds we have with these miracle babies, no matter how old they are....
HUGS to all

Ronnie....i cam empathise a little as my 8 year old was hospitalized, supposedly for a week to sort out his medicines, when he was almost 5...ended up staying in the facility for almost 3 months...drove me nuts and i think it took forever for him to trust me again....that is one of the reasons i have not alloed him to be hospitalized since despite ongoing challenges.....how old is your son? Do you have any support mechanisms available to you? It is always challenging when you have special needs children, doubly so when you are the main parent responsible for the child in question....please contact me if i can be of any help, its tough out there sometimes :)

Mystique...I get my homeschool materials from a variety of places now...I used to stick to alpha omega and some of the other homeschool curriculums, but have found that my son does better with books and approaches that appeal to his learning style....try a few different books...Walmart has some relatively cheap, as does KMart...you can also try the parent teacher store or ebay, all of which will give you some options that you can then choose from based on your son's reception to the materials you present....i have a very here and now approach to homeschooling as it works best for us....if you have any questions about anything just ask...my regular email is amandaday63@hotmail.com and i would be happy to help you...

thanks Barbiesbigsister....I appreciate your info....I homeschool my oldest (Aspergers) as well as have him attend a special Autism afterschool program, as well as attend some homeschool-sponsored programs....he does fantastic most of the time, and his IQ is like 153, so I have maintained the way we have it to keep mysanity and his....he also has RAD (Reactive Attachment disorder), just to complicate things...i keep forgetting that one!!)
My middle one, the one in the school system is there because i simply CANNOT teach him at home, i love him so much but his defiance is just past the point of my handling it all day...he is struggling at school, not because he lacks ability but because the school just wanted to label him as a "bad" child, and it is just now that we are finally getting some headway towards resolution and provision of services...but you sure do have to fight!! They cant make up their minds where they want to "stick" him because he is educationally on target (when he is behaving anyway!!)....I do think that mainstreaming is good for him, but unfortunately he is causing so much trouble in the classroom that he is impacting everyone else's ability to learn!! I understand what you are saying about making the school help, but its awful hard to get anywhere with schools these days...yet if he just had ADHD and was less educationally able he could get help immediately...makes no sense!! I am in no way minimizing the impact of ADHD and learning difficulties on a child, but Zane has a need too and its not getting met!!
Ok, I have whined and rambled lomg enough....thanks again for your kind advice...

hello everyone...glad the school year is going resaonably well for most of y'all....I have two in regular school and one that I homeschool....I had problems with getting the school system to provide needed services, so I have homeschooled my oldest (Aspergers, Bipolar, ADHD, ODD, OCD, Sensory Integrative disorder, hearing loss, other physical, mental and emotional issues and challenges)for the past three yaers...he benefits, he is exceptionally gifted per all the testing. He does now get to attend a local Autism program two afternoons per week...it took us forever to get him in, but its soooo good for him!!

My middle child (ADHD, Conduct disorder/ODD, ADHD, Sensory Integrative disorder, possible autism spectrum disorder) attends regular school, we have been battling with the school for a few months as they always want to label children as "bad", rather than accepting that their may be other contributing factors...he was a true preemie, and it has taken years of physical, occupational, speech, and developmental therapy to get him to where he is relatively "normal" in the eyes of the rest of the world....he is now very smart, reads ona 5th grade level, can do math with ease, etc, yet because his behavior is so poor they always want to point the finger of blame somewhere!! I am close to finally getting an IEP completed, I sure hope it works to help guide their approach to him and his needs!! I have to say, of all the punishments he gets, I was most angry when they took away his scheduled daytime nutritious snack because of poor behavior earlier this week....this kiddo needs his food at regular intervals...and I let his teacher, who is actually wonderful with him, but overwhelmed, know it!! (politely, of course, I have never been rude to people about things, it gets you nowhere!!)
As for my daughter, she's got her own problems and challenges (ADHD, behavioral disorder, ODD, some physical challenges), but compared to the boys shes an angel!!
Anyway, I just want to offer my services regarding information on homeshooling if anyone is interested....hope you all have a fantastic weekend!!

its kinda quiet around here....anyone home?
I hope everyone has a wonderful, kid-filled weekend,

i211986e...my kids have been my inspiration to complete my ADN, BSN, MSNEd, and now i am working on my PhD...seeing them work so hard to achieve stuff made me realize that i could do better for them...much of the research I am doing now revolves around my childrens diagnoses and expected life quality....so I appluad you, gofer it :)

Thanks for the welcome Twilights Twin, I am guessing that God knows what I can handle even if I dont!!

hello everyone, I am happy to find y'all...
I have three special needs children, my son Killian(8) has Aspergers, bipolar (rapid cycle/mainly manic), ODD, OCD, ADHD, Sensory Integrative disorder, as well as a host of physical health issues; my 6 year old son Zane has ASD (autism spectrun disorder) was born 10 weeks premature and has had a host of interventions over the years...he also has ADHD, ODD,Conduct Disorder, Sensory Integrative Disorder, speech problems, and a few other challenges; my daughter, Ayiana (age 5) has ADHD and behavior disorder...but many of her issues stem from being around her behavior-challenged brothers!! She was also born very premature..in fact I never had a 9 month pregnancy with any of mine, the longest I ever went was 33 weeks!!
My oldest is homeschooled as the school system in my city is not well prepared to help him...he has an IQ of 156, yet has such problems in anormal school setting!! He has finally gotten accepted into a local after school program run by autsim specialists and students...its sooooo cool!!
Anyway, as a single mom, life can be challenging with special needs kids, although I simply love 'em to death, but it is really nice to have a place to come to where people dont think you are crazy when the kids are out of control...nice to meet you all, I will be baaaacK!!!
:)