Hello,

Until about a year ago I was a very literalist (i.e., strict) Christian, in a very strict, literalist Christian family. At the time I wouldn't have considered dating a non-Christian. Now that I am simply "theist" (I believe that there's some kind of God, but not in any one in particular) I think that dating a Christian (or a Muslim, Jew, or some other strict faith) would probably pose problems. Now I know that there are members of all faiths who have relationships with people who do not share their faith. I guess that in general I'd simply like to ask: how's that working out for you?

Elijah.

Frankly, if a woman wouldn't want to date me solely because of my beard, then I probably wouldn't want to date her. On the other hand, if I go another year or two without a girlfriend, I might change my mind.

Buttons, no I don't cover my beard at work. However, I've been at this restaurant for about 10 months and have received no complaints about beard hair. I have overheard a few complaints about long hairs that must have come from one of the waitresses. About the only time when my face is positioned over food is when I'm doing prep work, which means that I'm not very busy at the moment and I'm looking right at the food that I'm preparing.

On another subject about my profile:

Should I tell people in my profile that I only recently came out of a strict Christian family and am clueless as to the world of dating? Does that scare you away? When I meet someone in person I can carry on a fairly normal conversation without mentioning my past, so should I act normal first and only later tell women about how I got here?

Elijah.

Hello all,

looks like the majority so far is a no-go on the beard.

Melody, I ask because after having lived a somewhat isolated life there are many social norms that I am unaware of. I'm just trying to understand people around me better. I am going to keep the beard for now.

I can understand if a girl wouldn't want to kiss a bearded guy; after all, skin-on-skin contact is more sensual than skin-on-hair contact. If I find a girl that I like well enough to kiss then I'll offer to shave.

To be continued.

I'd like to poll the women of this site: is my beard attractive?

I've only gotten a few in-person comments on it, and it never lead anywhere (although there was one case where a woman did compliment me on it and I was so oblivious to her because I was going through the checkout line at the library that I didn't follow up on her compliment, so chalk that one up to my own stupidity).

I'm rather fond of my beard because I haven't shaved in seven years and all that I have is a goatee a few inches long (I do trim my moustache occasionally). I would have to be seriously interested in a woman to shave for her, but I would hope that a woman who was serious about me wouldn't ask me to shave.

Your thoughts on this matter and the rest of my profile will be appreciated.

Elijah.

Hi,

it looks like not many people use this part of the forum, but I'll check in every once in a while. If you read this, please respond.

Elijah.

msharmony quote:

{{{Im stuck in a pickle,,,, I dont believe in casual sex, which is pretty much an expected part of casual dating nowadays,, but I dont know the proper time or place or way to let that be known to a 'potential' date

I am also in no rush to be married again,,,something else I dont know how or when to express }}}

Atlantis75 quote:

{{{What is missing:

Casual dater, who are not looking at me as a job resume and far more open minded so they see a date as a fun time hanging out and no harm could really happen , even if we never see each other again. }}}

Okay, there's one man and one woman in favor of casual dating (no commitment, no sex), I'll throw my vote in favor of it. How do the rest of you vote?

Commitment dating?
Casual dating?
Sex dating?

So far it's casual dating, 3-0.

Elijah

Rose:

I think that I speak for practically all guys when I say that any lady that is even remotely close to us in age can walk over to us, give a smile, and start talking. Even if we're attached and not interested, we'll still appreciate the attention and let you down easy. As far as I can tell, it's usually only women who sometimes take offense at an unknown guy starting a conversation with them, even if the guy is being polite.

Elijah.

Maybe I'm just out of the loop, but what is the socially acceptable way for a guy to start a conversation with a woman that he doesn't know who appears to be single? This is the main reason why I'm on this dating site. I don't know very many women in my daily life, so how do I start a conversation with a total stranger without coming off as creepy?

Should I hint or be plainspoken? If I hint, how many hints should I throw out before I drop it? If I'm plainspoken, what's the proper way to say "I'm looking to date somebody, can we talk so that I can decide whether or not I'd like to date you?"

Is it proper to try to pick up one woman out of a group of women, and if so, what's the best way of doing it without ticking off the rest of them?

I'd say that's enough questions to start with. Later.