A 5 year old's first job



Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew began to build a house on the empty lot.

The family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in the goings-on and spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them more or less, Gems-in-the-rough, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her during coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars.

The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested, that she take her ten dollars "pay" she'd received, to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mother arrived at the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those Azzholes at Home Depot ever deliver the f**kin' Sheet Rock..."



Kind of brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?

I read his book, to bad he went through h*ll to publish it.

Natural Cures "THEY" Don't Want You To Know About

Olive oil comes from olives, peanut oil from peanuts, sunflower
oil from sunflowers; but what is a canola?
Canola is not the name of a natural plant but a made-up word,
from the words "Canada" and Oil [its actually Oil, Low Acid, meaning erucic acid, which has been implicated in causing cancer].
Canola is a genetically engineered plant developed in Canada from the Rapeseed Plant, which is part of the mustard family of plants.

According to AgriAlternatives, The Online Innovation, and
Technology Magazine for Farmers, "By nature, these rapeseed oils, which have long been used to produce oils for INDUSTRIAL purposes, are... toxic to humans and other animals".

Rapeseed oil is poisonous to living things and is an excellent
insect repellent. I have been using it (in very diluted form, as per instructions) to kill the aphids on my roses for the last two years. It works very well; it suffocates them. Ask for it at your nursery. Rape is an oil that is used as a lubricant, fuel, soap and synthetic rubber base and as a illuminate for color pages in magazines.

It is an industrial oil. It is not a food. Rape oil, it seems,
causes emphysema, respiratory distress, anemia, constipation, irritability, and blindness in animals and humans.

The plant is a rape plant, albeit genetically modified. The new
name provides perfect cover for commercial interests wanting to make millions. Look at the ingredients list on labels. Apparently peanut oil is being replaced with rape oil. You'll find it in an alarming number of processed foods. There's more, but to conclude: rape oil was the source of the chemical warfare agent mustard gas, which was banned after blistering the lungs and skins of hundred of thousands of soldiers and civilians during W.W.I. Recent French reports indicate that it
was again in use during the Gulf War.

Check products for ingredients. If the label says, "may contain
the following" and lists canola oil, you know it contains canola oil because it is the cheapest oil and the Canadian government subsidizes it to industries involved in food processing.

Canola oil from the rape seed, referred to as the Canadian oil
because Canada is mainly responsible for it being marketed in the USA. The Canadian government and industry paid our Federal Food and Drug Administration (FDA) $50 million dollars to have canola oil placed on the (GRAS) List (Generally Recognized As Safe). Studies with lab animals were disastrous. Rats developed fatty degeneration of heart, kidney, adrenals, and thyroid gland. When canola oil was withdrawn from their diets, the
deposits dissolved but scar tissue remained on all vital organs. No studies on humans were made before money was spent to promote Canola oil in the USA.

Adrenoleukodystrophy (ALD) is a rare fatal degenerative disease
caused by a build up of long-chain fatty acids (c22 to c28) which destroys the myelin (protective sheath) of the nerves. Canola oil is a very long chain fatty acid oil (c22). Those who will defend canola oil say that the Chinese and Indians have used it for centuries with no effect, however it was in an unrefined form.

My cholesterol level was 150. After a year using Canola oil I
tested 260. I switched back to pure olive oil and it has taken 5 years to get it down to 160. Thus began this project to find answers since most Doctors will say that Canola oil is O.K. Our Father bred birds, always checking labels to insure there was no rape seed in their food. He said,
"The birds will eat it, but they do not live very long."
A friend, who worked for only 9 mo. as a quality control taster
at an apple-chip factory where Canola oil was used exclusively for frying, developed numerous health problems. These included loose teeth & gum disease; numb hands and feet; swollen arms and legs upon rising in the morning; extreme joint pain especially in hands, cloudy vision, constipation with stools like black marbles, hearing loss; skin tears from being bumped; lack of energy; hair loss and heart pains. It has been five years since she has worked there and still has some joint pain, gum disease, and numbness.

A fellow worker, about 30 years old, who ate very little
product, had a routine check up and found that his blood vessels were like those of an 80 year old man. Two employees fed the waste product to baby calves and their hair fell out. After removing the fried apple chips from the diet their hair grew back in.

Rape seed oil is a penetrating oil, to be used in light
industry, not for human consumption. It contains a toxic substance. (from encyclopedia). Even after the processing to reduce the erucic acid (hence Low Acid) content, it is still a penetrating oil. We have found that it
turns rancid very fast. Also it leaves a residual rancid odor on clothing.

Rape seed oil used for stir-frying in China found to emit cancer causing chemicals [hence why i told you it becomes dangerous when heated]
(Rapeseed oil smoke causes lung cancer) Amal Kumar Maj. The Wall Street
Journal June 7, 1995 pB6 (W) pB6 (E) col 1(11 col in). Compiled by Darleen Bradley.

Canola oil is a health hazard to use as a cooking oil or salad
oil. It is not fit for human consumption.

Its just human nature, nothing to do with being male or female.
Call it stage fright.
I call it NEXT.

Obsessions...

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

You all have obsessions, he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said.
You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.

He turned to the second Mom, Ann.
Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce.
Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, 'Come on, ****, we're leaving.

Can't forget, Pink Floyd, Ozzy, Led Zepplin, Rush, AC/DC.

If the man doesnt do anything on that day, then he either needs a real job to be able to afford to bye his lady something.
Or he's just some cheap azz that needs a wake up call.

So, burn that steak, tell him he can dream of the bl** job, and yell at him as much as you can.

Its not an exchange for the gifts.

"Simple, effective and self-explanatory... this holiday has been created so your ladies can have a day to show your man just how much you love him".

Some ladies might find the humor in this, others, well lets see.


Steak, BJ & STFU Day

Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for your wife or girlfriend by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic.

Secretly...guys feel left out. That's right...left out. There's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or just too embarrassed to admit it.

This is why a new holiday has been created.

March 20th is now officially 'Steak, Bl** job & Shut the #### Up Day.'

Simple, effective and self-explanatory... this holiday has been created so your ladies can have a day to show your man just how much you love him.

No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town the name of the Holiday explains it all... just a steak, a BJ & shut your mouth for the rest of the day! That's it!

This twin pairing of Valentine's Day and Steak, Blow job & Shut the #### Up Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere will try THAT much harder in February to ensure a more memorable March! It's like a perpetual love machine.

The word is already spreading, but as with any new idea, it needs a Little push to start the ball rolling.

So spread the word, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world.

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied,
When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit,
I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.
If I start to get nervous,
I take a sip.'

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.

At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.

He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:


1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as
Daddy, Junior and the spook.

8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.

9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked of his
donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10) We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'

11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, 'take this and eat it for it is my body.' He did not say ' Eat me'

12) The Virgin Mary is not called ' Mary with the Cherry,.

13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub a Dud Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.

14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

A Newfoundland woman "of a certain age",
visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's sex drive.

"What about trying Viagra?", asks the doctor.

Oh, no, doctor, I couldn't do dat," she said. "He won't even take an
aspirin.

"Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee. He won't
even taste it.

"Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went"

It wasn't a week later, that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to the progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh jaysus Mary and Joseph, doctor, twas horrid.
Just terrible!"

"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.

Well, I did like you said and slipped it into his coffee. Lard, de effect
was almost immediate.

He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his
pants a-bulging something fierce!

With one swoop of his arm he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and then, lard tunderin jaysus, didn't he take me right then and there, making wild, mad
passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you!

"Why so terrible?", asked the doctor. "Do you mean the sex was not good?"

"No, no, no, Doctor. The sex was fine. Indeed, 'twas the best sex I had in 25 years. ............But,.......


I'll never be able to show me face in Tim Horton's ever again!"

Thank you, and your all welcome,
to back theres no chocolate icons on here.

Flowers for all the ladies. Happy Valentines Day

question for you, "can a leopard change its stripes"
theres your answer.

Happy Birthday

just think about it, you'll get it.

Distance,, how far is to far? or how close is good enough?

Now I'm irritated,,