Peaceful, simple and comforting

Live in the day, grateful for what is given

Thank you for the reminder

That we are all only here for a little while
and its up to us how we are to be remembered
He once said

"have you ever seen a gravestone that said, I wish I worked more?"

Live, Laugh, LOVE

My first instinct was to defend and cheerlead the virtues of a relationship.

But in truth, one does get to a point, where it really doesn't matter.

Trust and acceptance being the standard

If it exists and I stumble upon it, then I'll give it a shot

Being comfortable in one own's core, usually brings a cerain level of peace.

A year ago,,,,,,,,

Interesting concept. The Philosophy of changing vs change.

Yup, I'd spend money on that

YIKES!!!

Course, now I understand how my ex let me down gently

Have trouble myself bursting that balloon

In fact, timely thread, wondering the same thing myself this morn, how do I tell this person, not interested?

It seems like such a chore.

First thought was, "look, its been nice chatting, but answering email is work, and I'm not into answering yours"

Seems so cruel. But it is the truth

OMG,, I LOVE this

Your not alone ((((Lex)))))

wow, quite the discussion, when the original question was "redefining" onself at the end of a relationship.

Means the individual "changed" while in the relationship

Was it a premeditated change?

Or

The result of a "we"

Different than a "me"

"He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery." ~Harold Wilson

Or as my dear ole mom used to say, "change is a GOOD thing"

As long as its not forced

I don't want to "change" anyone, can accept them, shake my head, smile and say, "thats how he is, and I love him"

As the cowardly lion says, "I DO believe, I DO believe, " there is someone out there, that will accept me, not try and change me, and be grateful for who I am, and what I bring to our we.

This is a really great statement ((((Winterblue)))))

Compromise does not mean, being a yes man (or woman).

Melding in a relationship takes time. And yes, if the relationship ends, the places that were melded seem to need to be redefined.

This is WAY different than going into something with one expectation and finding the other wants to "mold" you into their idea of partnership bliss.

Its almost like any one would do to make their "dream" come true

Self motivation when you keep finding yourself with those types.

Am I "finding" others who want to change me, as a convenient "excuse" to think "real" doesn't exist?

I'm just saying

Yes, it is pretty simple

Someone who compliments, not completes

Don't beat yourself up too bad. All you really did was set your standards.

Noteriety notwithstanding

In other words, what you want in a relationship has always been in your core.

Your very lucky to know and recognize it

Some of us don't have a freakin CLUE

And find ourselves "discovering" over and over again

~smile~ In my "oh so innocent and sweet way"

You are STILL a mere mortal like the rest of us.

"I handle fame by not being famous. I'm not famous to me."
Bob Marley

Perhaps the pretense is a result of your "fame"? A "success" makes for a GREAT baby daddy

And while we would like to think our mere mortal pals are just as innocent and truthful as we, alas, that is not always the case.

You are a challenge Lex. Makes you attractive. To the point, some woman are willing to "talk themselves" into fitting the "mold" they believe you created with your upfront and honest.

None of this works on you. For as well as "famous" your also a smart boy

which leads to on topic

Many loose themselves in the other, because they aren't honest with themselves. And when the inevitable breakup happens, they feel like they lost a part of themselves.

Cure?

Discover who you are, so the NEXT relationship "fits"

Well, that ain't YOU, that's clearly THEM. Because they choose to loose THEIR I's in the details of their life.

Thus, they are NOT gonna be into you. It's easier for them, if you conform and "change"

Frank Zappa also said:

"I'm sure that love will never be a product of plasticity.”

Don't give up

Stay true to self

((((((((Firefly))))))))), mine seems to be "Bill"

Booze, babies and you wonder why they want to "change" you?

Perhpas the way we loose our "I's" in a relationship, is in the desire to make the other happy?

And then there are the ones who would happily give their I's up to find someone who "agrees" with them, and gives them everything they want? Then the other, once they come to their senses, feel like they were being changed?

YIKES

Sometimes we loose the I, without really knowing it. Thus I beleive the topic of this thread.

Relationships are work. No if's, and or butt's about it. You got to WORK at being true to you, because without that, you can't be true to another.

hmmmmmmm,,interesting analogy,,,,shark bites

Dunno, can't wrap my head around EVERYONE I still "believe", that if I put myself "out there" perhaps one will find their way.

The key for me now, is to know the signs, and not waste my time

I'd rather be fishing or blowing glass. Part of what "defines" my I.

And stay away from the shark tank Lex. Pretty simple. Perhaps you need to find a kinder/gentler fish?

Understood Lex

However, again, this is only me, I have learned to recognize the warning signs of the subtlety in the change.

Is it too much to want someone who recognizes the value of wanting the other 100%?

Seems pretty simple to me. And very unselfish. Acceptance

Dignaty and respect.

Without that, I'd actually RATHER be an I

I'm getting too old to keep figuring out who I am after the demise of yet another "relationship"

Totally agree with this statement, as I have been there once or twice in my life :)

Which led me to taking it a step further

Why do I find myself attracted to those who wish to change me?

Perhaps, its my need to prove I can not be changed?

I call it the "renegade".

As far as being an "I" after being in a "we", being true to onself, and listening to the "Core" has meant the end of every relationship so far.

((((((Captain))))))

First Job - filling Jelly Donuts and trying to do the math when someone order one of a half dozen Hey,,I was 12

Brief stint as an Organic Farmer

Now I blow glass and am an Information Technology geek

((((((((((((Mikey)))))))))))))

So sorry,,,

My mom always said,,they come in three's

Let's hope this is it for you for a bit,,,