rum and raisin ice cream

then a bug is what i got.

u definately made my morning....lol

Two Indians and a Redneck were walking in the woods, all of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave."

Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" he called into the cave and then he listened very closely until he heard a answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"

He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Redneck was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about, was the other Indian crazy or what?

"No," said the Indian.

"It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there is a girl in there waiting to mate."

Just then they saw another cave.

The Indian ran up to the opening of the cave stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"

Immediately, there was an answering "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" from deep inside the cave. He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Redneck wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then he came upon a great big cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, "Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave!
It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!"

He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" He grinned and closed his eyes in anticipation and then he heard the answering call, "WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!"

With a gleam in his eyes and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.

The following day, the headline of the Local Newspaper read.."

NAKED REDNECK RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN!

Hello, is this the FBI?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.

"Hey Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"

"Yeah!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep."

"Happy Birthday Buddy"

Redneck Fitness

You know you're a redneck when your stair master has an ashtray!

The redneck truckers

Zek and Luke went to a trucking company to apply for a "Team" truck driving job. The personnel manager decided, after talking to them both that they weren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. He decides to interview them separately. He first interviews Zek. After 15 minutes he completes the interview. Zek barely passes. Next he interviews Luke. He begins by asking the usual transportation related questions. Luke also barely passes.

The personnel manager next interview them together. He presents them with this potential problem: Now Zek and Luke, lets say that you two are a driving team. One of you is driving the rig and the other is asleep in the back. You are going down this very steep hill with sixty thousand pounds of steel on the truck. All of a sudden your breaks go out and your speed is increasing. What would be the first thing you'd do ?

About a minute passes and there was no answer. Then, all of a sudden Luke spoke up.

"I know, I know, I know the first thing I'd do". The personnel manager says "yes Luke, what is the first thing you'd do?" Luke says, "I'd wake Zek up." The personnel manager replies, "WHAT ! "Why would wake Zek up ?"

Coos, says Luke, "He ain't never seen no big accident before!"

The Number One Way To Tell If A Redneck Has Been Working On A Computer...

The mouse is referred to as a "critter".

Two Redneck hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture, and bagged six big bulls. The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up.

They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot objected he said, "The plane can take out only four of your elk. You will have to leave two behind."

One of the hunters pushed forward, "Hey, last year our pilot let us take out six elk. It was the same model plane, same weather conditions, and everything. What's with this? We want you to allow us to fly out just like last year.

Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all six elk aboard and the men all climbed in with their gear. But when they attempted to take off and fly out of the valley, the little plane could not make it. They crashed in the wilderness.

Climbing out of the wreckage, one Redneck said to the other, "Do you know where we are?"

"I think so," replied the other Redneck. "Yep! I think this is about 100 yards further along than where we crashed last year

yup yup..... u
yup yup..... me
yup yup.... baby
yup yup family....yup yup yup yup yup uh huh uh huh

If you have ever bathed with flea & tick soap.

If your screen door has no screen

If you have a house that's mobile and fourteen cars that are not.

If people ask for permission to hunt in your front yard

If you put out pickled eggs and beer for Santa.

If your grandmother has ever been kicked out of bingo night for her language.
If You've ever used lard in bed

10 points

awsome

lol....hilarious

lol @ JT

hellllllllloooooo good to have u here....enjoy these forums. they are fun

was she staying there before, maybe a couple of nights? then ur land lady doesn;t need to know. just let her keep thinking that she;s justt here for a couple of nights or whaever...**** the landlady....damn...it's none of her business...

too funny...

10 points.

very freaking funny