Not all parents have the ability to put their own garbage aside for the sake of their children. They are probably not even able to see how much it hurts you they are to busy hurting each other. Please dont ever think it has anything to do with you. I am stuck on the other side of this coin. My son's father was not around much when he was little then when he turned 15 his father acted like he was there and oh so helpful to anyone who who listen. I raised my son alone with out support of any kind from him except the occasional head ache when he would show up at my house drunk. I hold a great deal of hurt and anger towards my son's father; however, I have always told him it is his choice wither he had a relationship with him or not. I also told my son he needed to respect my distaste for his father and understand that once he turned 18 I no longer had to deal with his father nor would I. I have never kept him from seeing his father, but I know that like you my son feels caught in the middle cause we are his parents. I have always been honest with my son as to why I dont and wont have anything more to do with his father and for the most part he understands, but like I said I know he feels stuck at times. But after what his father put me but most of all my son thru I will never forgive him for his lack of being a parent. So you have to make a choice. If you want both your parents in your life and your childrens lives you are either going to have to except the fact that it is going to have to be you see one at one time and the other at another time or put your foot down and tell them you will not tolerate their behavior to grow up stop acting like kids or they will loose you all. You hold the cards right now. These are your children. You have the right to make what ever choices you feel are in the best interest of your children. But you have to also stop and kind of look at this from your moms point as well. She was there full time and he was not sometimes its hard for the primary care giver to understand why you would want to have a relationship with someone who never had time for you. So you take the bull by the horn and do what you feel is right for you and your children and let your parents sit in their own garbage. It is not yours it does not belong to you it is theirs give it to them to deal with. I hope that helped a bit.