Well for me if I can't imagine playing tonsil hockey with a face for the rest of my life it is not going to go any further. Plus,if the write up in the profile is a snooze or they live too far away I move on.

Welcome to the forum PCchef!

EXACTLY Peggy!!! We even tried counseling, which helped some, but, unfortunately brought me to the realization that I did NOT want to do this anymore.
I did the same as you, tried to reassure, changed behavior, even gave up bartending. I was told by mutual friends it takes "4 years or so" for the jealousy to lessen and the trust to increase. It is terribly sad because he was everything I wanted (except rich lol) and balanced my life in so many ways. I still regularly miss the comraderie, the fun, the intimacy (and not just sex you pervs....we were very touchy and loving with each other).....it was a hard decision to make and has been an even harder time finding my way back to my old self!

And I TOTALLY RELATE to what you said!

I had a boyfriend that was sooooooo amazing to me in so many ways.

I had never been more cherished in a relationship before.

But he was also insecure and jealous, and I thought the solution was to keep reassuring him with my love and being totally transparent about my every move.

Instead of getting better, he got WORSE.

This was the only guy I was interested in marrying since my divorce because he and I were so in sync and he was so phenomenal in so many areas .

But that jealousy was a red flag I didn't pay attention to because I thought it would change if I kept on proving my loyalty or love.

that relationship taught me something invaluable.

By the time people are close to 40, they are pretty much fully formed and are almost incapable of change, UNLESS something really drastic in their life happens to inspire it, like the loss of a loved one or a job etc.

If people change ONLY to please you, it is only for a season to appease you.

They are likely to change right back to what they were for the previous thirty something years