I deleted it because someone posted racist comments in it. Wasn't directed towards you, sorry..

Actually, the best thing to do is NOT to email me but rather to use the "Report Abuse" button on the person's profile. That's the best way to let us know about a possible scammer. We'll investigate and ban them.

Sorry, I'm trying to fix it. Is it better now?

It shouldn't be possible unless you just turned off instant messaging. It might be a left-over message from before you turned it off.

Folks,

There are many posts in this thread that violate our forum rules. Several of them attack, belittle, or insult other users.

If you enjoy provoking other members, then this site isn't for you and you won't last long here. If you have an issue with someone, use the "Report Abuse" button on their profile and we'll investigate. It doesn't matter how long you've been a member of the site, how many posts you've made, etc. - if you violate our rules, we'll suspend your privileges or even ban you.

We'd prefer not to ban anyone, but we will if we have to, so please make sure to adhere to the rules at all times.

This is a warning to everyone on this thread. Further violations will result in suspensions or bans, not more warnings.

Thanks,
Mike

Here you go:

http://mingle2.com/users/tmplogin

Locking this topic cause it's getting too long, please start another thread...

Folks -

There have been a lot of posts in this thread that have violated our forum rules. Please remember that you may not attack or insult other members of the site at any time. Doing so is a violation of the forum rules and will result in your posting privileges being suspended or a permanent ban from the site.

We greatly prefer to educate users about our rules as opposed to banning them. But we will not allow our forums to degrade into mindless insults and drama. So please make sure to adhere to our rules at all times or you'll force us to take action.

Thanks for your cooperation.

Mike

Yes, I deleted it because of the link. One of the forum rules is no advertisements or promoting your own website. As long as you just post poems without referring people to your website, you'll be fine.

Thanks for your cooperation.

OK, thanks for the feedback!

So it's mainly the emails that are annoying? If you didn't get the notification emails, you'd be fine with Mutual Match as is?

If it weren't anonymous, would you use it?

So Mutual Match works as follows:

- You have a fast and easy way of quickly reviewing lots and lots of profiles and expressing which ones you are interested in
- Members are also rating you on the other side
- If you both like each other, we match you together

The goal is to let you just message people who you already know are interested in you. A lot of people complain that it takes a lot of time and effort to send messages to people they are interested in. With Mutual Match, you can send messages just to people who are "prequalified" and more likely to respond positively to you.

Plus, you can review profiles on Mutual Match very quickly which lets you narrow down the people you're interested in quickly instead of having to write messages to each one.

It's anonymous because a lot of people don't want the other person to know that they are interested in them unless the other person is interested back. They just don't feel comfortable knowing that the other user knows that they are interested in them unless they are interested back. Call it fear of rejection, shyness, or whatever, but they just don't want people to know. We wanted to make it as safe as possible for people to try, so we provided anonymity.

One thing that confuses me is that you don't have to use Mutual Match if you don't want to. You can always just search and message people like most sites allow. So if you don't like it, why not just not use it? I'm not trying to be a smart-aleck - I just genuinely want to understand why just not using it doesn't seem to be an option for people so that we can improve it. Is it mainly the emails that bother people?

By the way, we're not wedded to keeping the system as is. We're always looking to make improvements to the site, and we love to hear feedback from users. Positive feedback is great, of course, but negative feedback is even more helpful - it's one of the best ways for us to learn how to make the site better.

But please also remember that while you guys may want changes to be made to Mutual Match, we are also seeing a ton of people who love it as is and use it everyday, so we need to keep a balanced perspective.

Locking this thread cause its too long - start a new one, ok? Thanks!

It's certainly not meant to be misleading. The reason the system works this way is because many people wish to express their interest in other users anonymously. They only want to be revealed if you are also interested in them. That alleviates the fear of rejection when using Mutual Match for some users, and is why the system is designed the way it is.

Other users like yourself don't care if the system shows that you're interested in the other person. We're trying to figure out a way to better accomodate both people without the wording being so confusing. We spell it out in our email to you in as much detail as possible. If you read it carefully, you'll see that we state exactly what you need to do in order to see if you are a match. But it seems like a lot of people don't read that email, at least not carefully, so we may have to find a better solution.

OK folks - please make sure to keep the debate civil. These are sensitive subjects that people feel passionate about, so we all need to make sure we don't let our tempers get the best of us.

You can debate the message, but dont attack the messenger. Make sure to stay on the right side of that line. And if you can't do that, then take a break and walk away from your keyboard.

Thanks for your cooperation.

Hi folks - we're looking into this and are working to get it all sorted out, so stay tuned...

Sorry, we're aware of the issues and are working on a longer-term fix. In the meantime, the site should be working fairly well now. Let me know if you have any issues still.

And folks - one more thing.

To be honest, I think everyone involved in this situation is a good person. But sometimes our tempers get the best of us. People feel passionate about issues and sometimes direct that into personal attacks.

If you're feeling yourself get angry, then walk away from your keyboard and take a break. And again, if you feel you've been slighted, use the Report Abuse button and let us know.

We prefer to educate people, but we'll do what we have to to keep the forums a friendly and fun place. So keep the drama out, and work to cool down situations, not inflame them.

Thanks for your cooperation.

We have ZERO tolerance for this stuff on the forums. We're trying to be nice by issuing you all a warning. But if it happens again, you'll be suspended - period.

We don't care who started it - but we'll finish it.

If you want to stay a member of the site, then you cannot attack another user under any circumstance.

I am directing this at all participants in this little fiasco. Both sides.

This is your last chance. One more remark and I'm issuing bans.

Everyone has to cool it NOW.