I'm new to JustSayHi, and was part of the assimilation of Mingle2. I received an email saying:

"Someone wants to meet you on JustSayHi!
1 new person has said that they are interested in meeting you through Mutual Match, but you have not rated them yet."

Does this person really want to meet me, or is this a ploy to get me to log on to JSH?

Thanks,
Tom

no, someone actually said "yes" or "maybe" to meeting you after being shown your pic and your self-summary.

Thanks for posting, Katrina.

Perhaps JustSayHi needs to rewrite their email message about a Mutual Match. It's a bit misleading. Sending "Someone wants to meet you on JustSayHi!" sounds like the person selected "Yes."

"Someone might want to meet you" would be more appropriate for a "Maybe."

-Tom

Hi Tom and welcome to JSH...... We have a lot of fun in the forums.....I hope you enjoy!

HI! IT seems sometimes I can't figure this site out!
Can't seem to move around it good! HELP!

Hi Fresh, thanks for the welcome!

it appears that it says wants to meet you on jsh

not necessarily in person

maybe meet should be changed to

-- interested in --

but talking on the site could be

meeting on the site as well

Ok, so I received another email from JSH today as follows:

Subject: Someone wants to meet you on JustSayHi
Date: 10/10/2007 6:22:21 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time

1 new person has said that they are interested in meeting you through Mutual Match, but you have not rated them yet.
------

I logged on to JSH and saw this on My Account Home:
New Mutual Matches: 0
Your Mutual Matches NEW! View All View All (0)
______

My question is: why did I receive an email about 1 new person through Mutual Match when 0 shows on my JSH Home?

Thanks,
Tom

you have to go threw and say yes or maybe

and if you also pick them then they will

be shown to you

search

mutual match

find more

then go threw the list

if you both click yes or maybe then you both see the other

The message from JSH said 1 new person. If that's the case, why is JSH showing me more than 1 person at Mutual Match? JUST SHOW ME THE ONE PERSON!

This does not make sense, and it JSH the appearance of misleading users with the emails titled "Someone wants to meet you on JustSayHi!" It still seems like a ploy to have users log on.

I would appreciate it if Matt, Mike and Vanchau would address my concerns. Thanks.

*edit*

The message from JSH said 1 new person. If that's the case, why is JSH showing me more than 1 person at Mutual Match? JUST SHOW ME THE ONE PERSON!

This does not make sense, and it *gives* JSH the appearance of misleading users with the emails titled "Someone wants to meet you on JustSayHi!" It still seems like a ploy to have users log on.

I would appreciate it if Matt, Mike and/or Vanchau would address my concerns. Thanks.

It's certainly not meant to be misleading. The reason the system works this way is because many people wish to express their interest in other users anonymously. They only want to be revealed if you are also interested in them. That alleviates the fear of rejection when using Mutual Match for some users, and is why the system is designed the way it is.

Other users like yourself don't care if the system shows that you're interested in the other person. We're trying to figure out a way to better accomodate both people without the wording being so confusing. We spell it out in our email to you in as much detail as possible. If you read it carefully, you'll see that we state exactly what you need to do in order to see if you are a match. But it seems like a lot of people don't read that email, at least not carefully, so we may have to find a better solution.

Mike, thanks for your post.

I don't like the idea of rating users. It seems like I would have to rate a great number of users, and then maybe (or maybe not) I'll see the one who prompted the Mutual Match email to me. I prefer reading profiles, and then writing someone that I'm interested in.

Yes, I would appreciate it if Mike and the others would rethink this feature. My immediate suggestion would be for the site to offer an option to disable specifically Mutual Match emails.

FYI, I didn't choose this site. I was thrust into it from Mingle2...

those that are presented to you
in mutual match

are ussually those that fit
your search critera

basicly they are saving you the time
of going thru a large number of those that

per your info you would not be interested in

after all how hard would it be to go thru m m and check out
their profiles

they are just trying to give you
the ones closest to your ideas

In reply to Mike's post, WHAT is the point of another user on this site expressing their interest anonymously? Fear of rejection doesn't really seem like a valid reason, since, if I'm understanding this right, if the person you're interested in doesn't bother to rate you, for all you know, they could've rated you and said 'no.' I don't do the Mutual Match thing, so I'll never know who was 'interested in meeting me', and the other person doesn't know if I didn't bother to rate them, or if I said 'no.' I personally think there's enough mystery, stealth and anonymity just because we're doing this by computer.
I think - and I'm simply stating my opinion here - that the Mutual Match thing was and is well-intentioned, but adds to the already built-in complications of an online dating site.

P.S. IF I'm not understanding this Mutual Match thing correctly, then I apologize......and if I don't understand it correctly, could someone explain it to me?

So Mutual Match works as follows:

- You have a fast and easy way of quickly reviewing lots and lots of profiles and expressing which ones you are interested in
- Members are also rating you on the other side
- If you both like each other, we match you together

The goal is to let you just message people who you already know are interested in you. A lot of people complain that it takes a lot of time and effort to send messages to people they are interested in. With Mutual Match, you can send messages just to people who are "prequalified" and more likely to respond positively to you.

Plus, you can review profiles on Mutual Match very quickly which lets you narrow down the people you're interested in quickly instead of having to write messages to each one.

It's anonymous because a lot of people don't want the other person to know that they are interested in them unless the other person is interested back. They just don't feel comfortable knowing that the other user knows that they are interested in them unless they are interested back. Call it fear of rejection, shyness, or whatever, but they just don't want people to know. We wanted to make it as safe as possible for people to try, so we provided anonymity.

One thing that confuses me is that you don't have to use Mutual Match if you don't want to. You can always just search and message people like most sites allow. So if you don't like it, why not just not use it? I'm not trying to be a smart-aleck - I just genuinely want to understand why just not using it doesn't seem to be an option for people so that we can improve it. Is it mainly the emails that bother people?

By the way, we're not wedded to keeping the system as is. We're always looking to make improvements to the site, and we love to hear feedback from users. Positive feedback is great, of course, but negative feedback is even more helpful - it's one of the best ways for us to learn how to make the site better.

But please also remember that while you guys may want changes to be made to Mutual Match, we are also seeing a ton of people who love it as is and use it everyday, so we need to keep a balanced perspective.

Mike,

Thanks for taking the time to explain.

I currently don't use Mutual Match - I'm just uncomfortable getting e-mails saying someone is interested in 'meeting' me,
knowing that even if I did pursue it, I'd only have a fifty-percent chance of finding out who it is.

Again, my reason for writing was to find out if I understood Mutual Match correctly, and to give my opinion - which I know is simply MY opinion - which could change over time (after all, this IS a forum....). Some "guys like me" are open-minded, you know.....

I was one of the guys moved here from Mingle2, and, overall, I think JustSayHi is a good site.

So it's mainly the emails that are annoying? If you didn't get the notification emails, you'd be fine with Mutual Match as is?

If it weren't anonymous, would you use it?

Mike, you're right on the money, so to speak. I'd have to answer "Yes" to all three questions.