Maybe a "crush" is another word for it too.

Either way, I'm glad I'm over this. After being on dates with a few women I actually connected with, I was able to distinguish actually liking someone from puppy love/lust whatever it is.

I was under the impression lust was based on a sexual attraction. What I'm describing is kind of what Steve Urkel felt for Laura in Family Matters.

Is there a term besides obsession or infatuation for when it feels like you're in love, you get the butterflies, you're listening to "I want to know what love is" by Foreigner, but you don't even know the person well and are just basing this on a very strong attraction to the person's looks? I know it's common for this to happen to guys...they like a girl's looks and want her to be "the one" even though she isn't even probably dateable for them, but what is this, and is it healthy?

Thank you. You can be nice, male or female, without being a wimp or uninteresting.

I could manage a month if there was a connection. The girl I like, want to go out with, made me wait 2 months, then dumped me after a month and changed her mind about the sex, now we're kind of off and on and I'm still talking to her despite the no sex. But if there wasn't that connection, I wouldn't wait.

I'm a guy that's a virgin, but for woman I actually want to get to know, I could wait...not for months, but I could wait longer than 5 minutes lol. If I feel there's nothing in common or she's older than me or something, I wouldn't wait.

what about the average/kind of cute guy that isn't a pretty boy or hot or rugged, but isn't a feminine wimp either? and for the female equivalent, the girl that is the brainy beauty, doesn't have huge boobs and a big ass, but has a cute face and can hold a good conversation?

By nice, I don't mean the self-described nice guy that really wishes he was sleeping with the women and is equally underhanded about it, only buying them gifts and s*cking up to them and whining.

For a nice person, male or female, I mean, someone who doesn't ask superficial questions on the first date about paycheck, salary, or if you're a guy, bra size, "When are we going to have sex," or having an ulterior motive. I mean a man or woman who you can truly talk to about anything, and you enjoy their company, and most people who know them say "He or she is a nice person."

A lot of men complain that women just want jerks to act hot and cold, play with their emotions, and treat them badly, but I'd argue that men are shallow as well when it comes to nice women.

I used to overlook perfectly cute, above average looking nice girls, but I was also inexperienced and didn't realize that a cute, nice girl is better than a really sexy, snobby girl. A lot of guys are experienced, realize this, but still go for the sexy/snobby type.

And women, I'm convinced a lot of them are just f***ed up in the head, have high egos but low-self esteem and want some trophy really good looking guy to show off to their friends and society who treats them bad. Some like being treated bad, but a lot of them will take the really good bad boy looks over an average/cute/not so tough looking guy that doesn't treat them like ****.

My question is, what's so bad about being unconditionally nice? If anything, the few women I've went on dates with were sexier to me because they were somewhat attractive and genuinely nice people. I can imagine sex with a really hot woman being good, but is the prospect of it worth putting up with a bad person on the inside? Same for women...I know you women are attracted to muscles and bad boy looks, but at the cost of not being treated like a person?