One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.

She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"

The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."

So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred buck just to see one."

Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and guy then says "That was so amazing I've got to see both of them. I'll give you another 100 dollars if I could just see the both of them together."

Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long chance to cop a look.

A while later Tony arrives back home from the store. The wife goes up to him, "You know, your friend Chris came over."

Tony thinks about it for a second and says, "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

Likes to start scandalous rumours about people.

13 views is not cutting it for me.. Bump! lol And Btw, TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY POEMS PLEASE!! I WANT TO HEAR CRITICISM, TELL ME HOW TO IMPROVE! UGh, lol sorry i'll shut up before I go off on a rant like in the political forums =)

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

One moment captured for the future and viewed in
the present
Memories of old and feelings alike...Don't seem
so distant
So beautiful is she...Even through my blurred
vision
Thousand words per picture...None can describe
what im feeling
Cascading tears and blood intertwined amongst
shattered glass
A shattered past...Broken heart that you cant fix
with a cast
Walk passed each other...Forced to put on a mask
But happy is she...Just like the pictures in view
One of us molded like one entity...Kissing after
school
Another standing by the pool...Lauging,this sound
I can still hear
Echoing in my ears...Her voice, it's just like I was
there
Going out for years...But now these lossed moments
just result in tears
For now i close my eyes and let my sleep render me
there

A thousand words and moments viewed in one picture
A thousand ways i wish i could relive these
pictures

The old man was standing there, in his hand there
was a broom,
Lost in a world of memories, as he looked around
the room.
He sat down in his favorite chair, the one she
picked out,
It was old and soft and slightly worn, comfortable
without a doubt.
A tear crept slowly down his cheek, as he opened
the photo book,
Pictures of youth and love and life, pictures of
her that he took.
There she was in her wedding gown, was that so
many years ago?
How beautiful she was back then, how her love did
show.
He remembered the cheerful laugh she had, he
hadn't heard in a while,
And the times when she felt down, how he could
make her smile.
The pictures were memories come to life, it seemed
he was back there again,
Holding her hand, then hugging her close, trying
hard not to grin.
His tear fell down on the page, and he wiped it
off with his sleeve,
Why wasn't he the one to go, instead of having to
grieve.
Then he recalled something she said, just before
she passed away,
Remember me with love in your heart, I'll see you
again some day.
The old man closed the book, he placed it back on
the shelf.

That is a very well thought out intellignt reply, the kind I am looking for. I am truly impressed that someone sees my point here.. Finally.. after 2 pages of post.. lmao

A woman walks into the store and purchases the following:
1 small box of detergent
1 Bar of soap
3 individual servings of yogurt
2 oranges
1 stick of women's deodorant.
She then goes to the check out line.

Cashier: Oh, you must be single
Woman: You can tell that by what I bought?
Cashier: No, you're ****ing ugly!

"Things that make you go hmmmmmmm...." I'm not sure if this how it really went down. But here's a side of it anyway.

From Buddy Wellborn 59
Captain Ray Wellborn, USN (ret).


I'll just tell you what I found out from my contacts at NSWC
Norfolk and at SOCOM Tampa. First though, let me orient you, to
familiarize you with the Indian Ocean "terrain."


In Africa from Djibouti at the southern end of the Red Sea eastward
through the Gulf of Aden to round Cape Guardafui at the easternmost tip
of Africa (also known as "The Horn of Africa") is about a 600 nm transit
before you stand out into the Indian Ocean. That transit is comparable in
distance to that from the mouth of the Mississippi at New Orleans to the tip
of
Florida at Key West-- except that 600 nm over there is infested with Somalia
pirates.


Ships turning southward at the Horn of Africa transit the SLOC
(Sea Lane of Commerce) along the east coast of Somalia because of
the prevailing southerly currents there. It's about 1,500 nm on to
Mombassa, which is just south of the equator in Kenya. Comparably, that's
about the transit distance from Portland Maine down the east coast of the US
to
Miami Florida. In other words,the ocean area being patrolled by our naval
forces
off the coast of Somalia is comparable to that in the Gulf of Mexico from
the
Mississippi River east to Miami then up the eastern seaboard to Maine.


Second, let me globally orient you from our Naval Operating
Base in Norfolk, VA, east across the Atlantic to North Africa, thence
across the Med to Suez in Egypt, thence southward down the Red Sea to
Djibouti
at the Gulf of Aden, thence eastward to round Cape Guardafui at the
easternmost tip of Africa, and thence southerly some 300 miles down the east
cost of
Somali out into the high seas of the Indian Ocean to the position of MV
ALABAMA
is a little more than 7,000 nm, and plus-nine time-zones ahead of EST.


Hold that thought, in that, a C-17 transport averaging a
little better than 400 kts (SOG) takes the best part of 18 hours to
make that trip. In the evening darkness late Thursday night, a team of Navy
SEALs
from NSWC (Naval Surface Warfare Center) Norfolk parachuted from such a
C-17
into the black waters (no refraction of light) of the Indian Ocean--
close-aboard to our 40,000 ton amphibious assault ship, USS BOXER (LHD 4),
the flagship of our ESG (Expeditionary Strike Group) in the AOR (Area Of
Responsibility, the Gulf of Aden). They not only parachuted in with all of
their
"equipment," they had their own inflatable boats, RHIB's (Rigid Hull,
Inflatable Boats) with them for over-water transport. They went into
BOXER's landing dock, debarked, and staged for the rescue-- Thursday night.


And, let me comment on time-late: In that the SEAL's quick response--
departing ready-alert in less than 4 hours from Norfolk-- supposedly
surprised
POTUS's staff, whereas President Obama was miffed not to get his "cops"
there before the Navy. He reportedly questioned his staff, "Will 'my' FBI
people
get there before the Navy does?"

It took the FBI almost 12 hours to put together a team and get them
packed-up-- for an "at sea" rescue. The FBI was trying to tell him that
they are not practiced to do this-- Navy SEALs are.

But, BHO wanted the FBI there "to help," that is, carry out the Attorney
General's (his)
orders to negotiate the release of Captain Phillips peacefully-- because
apparently
he doesn't trust GW's military to carry out his "political guidance."


The flight of the FBI's passenger jet took a little less
than 14 hours at 500-some knots to get to Djibouti. BOXER'S helos
picked them up and transported them out to the ship. The Navy SEALs
were already there, staged, and ready to act by the time POTUS's FBI arrived
onboard latter that evening.
Notably, the first request by the OSC (OnScene Commander) that early Friday
morning to take them out and saveCaptain Phillips was denied,
to wit: "No, wait until 'my' FBI people get there."


Third, please consider a candid assessment of ability that finds that the
FBI snipers
had never practiced shooting from a rolling, pitching, yawing, surging,
swaying,
heaving platform-- and, target-- such as a ship and a lifeboat on the high
seas.
Navies have been doing since Admiral Nelson who had trained "Marines"
to shoot muskets from the ship's rigging-- ironically, he was killed at sea
in
HMS VICTORY at the Battle of Trafalgar by a French Marine rifleman that shot
him
from the rigging of the French ship that they were grappling alongside.


Notably, when I was first training at USNA in 1955, the Navy was doing it
with a
SATU, Small Arms Training Unit, based at our Little Creek amphib base.
Now, Navy SEAL's, in particular SEAL Team SIX (The"DevGru") based at
NSWC (Naval Surface Warfare Center) at Little Creekdo that training now,
and hone their skills professionally-- daily.

Shooting small arms from a ship is more of an accomplished "ArtForm" in that
it is a practiced skill. When you are "in the bubble" and "in tune" with
the
harmonic motion you find, through practice, that you are "able to put three
.308
slugs inside the head of a quarter at 100 meters, in day or night-- or,
behind a camouflaged net or a thin enclosure, such as a superstructure
bulkhead.
Yes, we have the monocular scopes that can "see" heat-- and, draw a bead on
it.
SEALs are absolutely expert at it-- with the movie clips to prove it.


Okay, now try to imagine patrolling among the boats fishing everyday out
on the Grand Banks off our New England coast, and then responding
to a distress call from down around the waters between Florida
and the Bahamas.

Three points for you to consider here:
(1) Time-Distance-Speed relationships for ships on the high seas, for
instance,
at 25-knots it takes 24 hours to make good 600 nm-- BAINBRIDGE did.
(2) Fishermen work on the high seas, and
(3) The best place to hide as a "fisherman" pirate is among other fishermen


Early Wednesday morning, 4/8/2009, MV ALABAMA is at sea in the Indian Ocean
(IO),
about 300 miles off the (east) coast of Somalia enroute to Mombassa Kenya.
Pirates in small boat start harassing her, and threatening her with weapons.

MV ALABAMA's Captain Phillips sent out the distress call by radio, and
ordered his Engineer
to shut down the engines as well as the ship-service electrical generators--
in our lingo,
"Go dark and cold." He informed his crew by radio what was happening,
and ordered them to go to an out-of-the-way compartment and lock themselves
in it--
from the inside. He would stay in the pilot house to "negotiate" with the
pirates.


The pirates boarded, captured the Captain, and ordered him to start the
engines.
He said he would order his Engineer to do so, and he called down to Engine
Control
on the internal communication system, but got no answer. The lead pirate
ordered
two of his four men to go down and find him and get the engines started.


Inside a ship without any lights is like the epic definition of dark.
The advantage goes to the people who work and live there.
They jumped the two pirates in a dark passageway. Both pirates lost
their weapons, but one managed to scramble and get away. The other they
tied up, put tape over his mouth and a knife at his throat.


Other members of the crew opened the drain cocks on the pirates boat and
cast it adrift. It foundered and sunk. The scrambling pirate made it back
to the pilot house and told of his demise. The pirates took the Captain
at gun point, and told him to launch one of his rescue boats (not a life
boat, per se).
As he was lowering the boat for them, the crew appeared with the other
pirate
to negotiate a trade. The crew let their hostage go too soon, and the
pirates
kept the captain. But, he purposefully had lowered the boat so it would
jam.


With the rescue boat jammed, the pirates jumped over to a lifeboat
and released it as the captain jumped in the water. They fired
at him, made him stop, and grabbed him out of the water. Now, as night
falls in the vastness of the Indian Ocean, we have the classic
"Mexican" standoff, to wit: A life-boat that is just that, a life-boat
adrift
without any means of propulsion except oars and paddles; and,
a huge (by comparison) Motor Vessel Container Ship adrift with a crew
that is not going to leave their captain behind. The pirates are enclosed
under its shelter-covering, holding the captain as their hostage. The
crew is hunkered down in their ship waiting for the "posse" to arrive.


After receiving MV ALABAMA'S distress call, USS BAINBRIDGE (DDG 96)
was dispatched by the ESG commander to respond to ALABAMA's
distress call. At best sustainable speed, she arrived on scene the day
after-- that is, in the dark of that early Thursday morning.

As BAINBRIDGE, a darkened-ship without any lights to give her away,
quietly and slowly, arrived on scene, please consider a recorded interview
with the
Chief Engineer of MV ALABAMA describing BAINBRIDGE's arrival.
He said it was something else "... to see the Navy slide in there like a
greyhound!"
He then said as she slipped in closer he could see the "Stars and Stripes"
flying
from her masthead. He got choked up saying it was the "...proudest moment
of my life."


Phew! Let that sink in.


Earlier in the day, one of the U.S. Navy's Maritime Patrol Aircraft, a
fixed wing P3C, flew over to recon the scene. They dropped a buoy with a
radio
to the pirates so that the Navy's interpreter could talk with the pirates.
When BAINBRIDGE arrived, the pirates thought the radio to be a beaconing
device,
and threw it overboard. They wanted a satellite telephone so that they
could call
home for help. Remember now, they are fishermen, not "Rocket Scientists,"
in that,
they don't know that we can intercept and track the phone transmission also.



MV ALABAMA provided them with a satellite phone. They called home back to
"somebody" in Eyl Somalia (so that we now know where you live) to come out
and get them.
The "somebody" in Eyl said they would be out right away with other hostages,
like 54 of them
from other countries, and that they would be coming out in two of their
pirated ships.
Right-- and, the tooth fairy will let you have sex with her. Yea, in
paradise.

The "somebody" in Eyl just chalked up four more expendables as overhead for
"the cost
of operation."


Next page.

Anyway, ESG will continue to "watch" Eyl for any ships standing out.

The Navy SEAL team, SEAL TEAM SIX, from NSWC briefed the OSC
(Commander Castellano, CO BAINBRIDGE) on how they could rescue the
captain from the life boat with swimmers-- "Combat Swimmers," per se.
That plan was denied by POTUS because it put the captain in danger-- and,
involved killing the pirates.


The FBI negotiators arrived on scene, and talked the pirates into sending
their wounded man over for treatment Saturday morning.
Later that afternoon, the SEAL's sent over their RHIB with food and water to
recon the life boat but the pirates shot at it. They could have taken them
out then (from being fired upon) but were denied again being told that the
captain was not in "imminent danger." The FBI negotiators calmed the
situation by informing the pirates of threatening weather as they could
see storm clouds closing from the horizon, and offered to tow the life boat.
The pirates agreed, and BAINBRIDGE took them under tow in their wake at
30 meters-- exactly 30 meters, which is exactly the distance the SEALs
practice their shooting skills.


With the lifeboat under tow, riding comfortably bow-down on BAINBRIDGE's
wake-wave ("rooster tail"), had a 17-second period of harmonic motion,
and at the end of every half-period (8.5 seconds) was a calm "steady on".
The light-enhanced (infra-red heat) monocular scopes on the SEAL's
.308 caliber Mark 11 Mod 0 H&K suppressor-fitted sniper rifles easily
imaged their target very clearly. Pirates in a life boat at 30-meters
could be compared to fish in a barrel. All that was necessary was to
take out the plexiglass window so that it would not deflect the trajectory
of the high velocity .308 round. So, a sniper (one of four) with a
wad-cutter
round (a flaxen sabot) would take out the window a split second before
the kill-shot-- no change in sight-picture, just the window blowing out,
clean.


Now, here's the part BHO's "whiz kids" knew as well as the Navy hierarchy,
including CO BAINBRIDGE and CO SEAL TEAM SIX:

It's the law in Article 19 of Appendix L in the "Convention of the
High Seas" that the Commanding Officer of a US Ship on the high seas is
obligated to respond to distress signals from any flagged ship (US or
otherwise), and protect the life and property thereof when deemed to be
in IMMINENT DANGER. So, in the final analysis, it would be Captain
Castellano call as to "Imminent Danger," and that he alone (not "my FBI")
was
obligated (duty bound) to act accordingly.


Got the picture?


After medically attending to the wounded pirate, and feeding him,
come first light (from the east) on Easter Sunday morning and the
pirates saw they were being towed further out to sea (instead of westward
toward land), the wounded pirate demanded to be returned to the lifeboat.

There would BE NO more negotiations-- and, the four Navy SEAL snipers
"in the bubble" went "Unlock." The pirate holding Captain Philips raised
the gun
to his head, and IMMINENT DANGER was so observed and noted in the Log as
CO BAINBRIDGE gave the classic order: WEAPONS RELEASED!

I can hear the echo in my earpiece now, "On my count (from 8.5 seconds),
3, 2, 1, !" POP, BANG! Out went the window, followed by three
simultaneous shots.
The scoreboard flashed: "GAME OVER, GAME OVER-- NAVY 3, PIRATES 0!"


I hope you found the above informative as best I know it--
and, please excuse me in that after more than 50 years the Navy is
still in me. I submit that AMERICA is going to make a comeback, and more
than
likely, it'll be on the back of our cherished youth serving with honor in
Our military.

So, let's Look Up, Get Up -- and, Never Give Up!
God Bless Our Troops, and GOD SAVE AMERICA!


Buddy Wellborn, USNA Class of 1959,
****inson, Texas.

Note:
Captain Wellborn, USN (retired) served over 13 years of his 30-year Navy
career in
submarines. He has a BSEE degree from the US Naval Academy and a MSEE degree

from the Naval Postgraduate School. He also has an MA from the Naval War
College.
He had two major commands at sea and one ashore: USS MOUNT BAKER (AE 34),
USS DETROIT (AOE 4), and the Naval Electronics Systems Engineering
Center, Charleston. He was Program Manager for Tactical Towed Array Sonar
Systems
and Program Director for Surface Ship and Helicopter ASW Systems for the
Naval
Sea Systems Command in Washington,DC.
After retirement in 1989, he was the Director of Programs for ARGOTEC, Inc.,
where he oversaw the manufacture of advanced R&D models for large underwater

acoustic projectors. From 1992 to 1996, he was a Senior Lecturer in the
Marine Engineering Department of Texas A&M, Galveston. Since 1996,he has
been an
independent consultant for International Maritime Affairs. He has been
teaching courses for ATI over the past seventeen years, and in so doing has
accumulated many testimonials from DOD, NUWC, and other agency attendees
that all
attest to the merit of his presentation skills. He is the author of several
technical
articles on submarines including two recent ones published in SEA TECH
magazine:
The Efficacy of Submarine Warfare, and USS VIRGINIA (SSN 774) A New
Steel-Shark at Sea.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

HAPPY with what we have done to the US??? ROFLMAO ROFL ROFL hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha that is the dumbest sentence i've heard all year, Seriously. That is pure humour right there. The founding fathers would be pissed, you seriously need to learn history and government. Like really bad.

That actually kind of hurts to hear, people are designed to be ruled? So your saying basically, the people who go out on a binge, and go open up thier own company, such as the creator of McDonalds, or Walmart, Or that Local Car Dealership near your house, the entrepeneurs of today's world, Are destined to be ruled? I disagree with this statement, because... The fact that these guys can just get up and split if they really want to. They can say "**** The US" and leave, they have the money, that ability, and that power. I wouldn't call that being ruled, would you? What happens when they finally do leave btw? Haha.

Bye Dom :(

"Peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations – entangling alliances with none." ~ Thomas Jefferson

only 20 views? Bump. I waNT CRITICISM!

Well yeah, that's the way it's always been, and always will be, I mean when I was in the military, I watched Bush **** things up slowly, Starting with the patriot act, then that prison in Cuba, I mean he was ripping our constitution to shreds. But with Obama, my main problem is that, He was out there being buddy buddy with everyone going "Yeah i'm sorry America ****ed up!" which in ridicilous, even if we did mess up... Because of the fact we are America, We are considered the bully of the world, YOu don't go around going "Whoops, I know we ****ed up ok we'll become socialist, *WHICH BYE THE WAY HAS FAILED THROUGHOUT HISTORY EVERY SINGLE TIME IT HAS BEEN INTRODUCED" GO read about the current situations in England and France atm, THAT IS WHERE WE ARE HEADING IF WE CONTINUE THIS ROAD.

Actually most of them were, Thomas Jefferson, Washington, Jackson, Most of our founding fathers believe it or not were mate.

Jefferson was called a "Dhiest" He did not believe in the bible, only in common sense. His belief a dhiest as they were called, believed that, God put us here, then said Peace. basically, The Bible was written by man, therefore it is flawed, according to Jefferson. So yes, he probably did quote that before.

A wise and frugal government, which shall leave men free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned - this is the sum of good government.
Thomas Jefferson

"[The purpose of a written constitution is] to bind up the several
branches of government by certain laws, which, when they
transgress, their acts shall become nullities; to render
unnecessary an appeal to the people, or in other words a rebellion,
on every infraction of their rights, on the peril that their
acquiescence shall be construed into an intention to surrender
those rights." --Thomas Jefferson: Notes on Virginia, 1782. Q.XIII

"The foundation on which all [our State constitutions] are built
is the natural equality of man, the denial of every pre-eminence
but that annexed to legal office and particularly the denial of a
pre-eminence by birth." --Thomas Jefferson to George Washington,
1784.

"Man [is] a rational animal, endowed by nature with rights and
with an innate sense of justice." --Thomas Jefferson to William
Johnson, 1823.

"It is to secure our rights that we resort to government at all."
--Thomas Jefferson to Francois D'Ivernois, 1795.


"The equal rights of man and the happiness of every individual
are now acknowledged to be the only legitimate objects of
government." --Thomas Jefferson to A. Coray, 1823
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Leave no authority existing not responsible to the people."
--Thomas Jefferson to Isaac H. Tiffany, 1816.

We already had Bush start to demolish the constitution with his patriot acts, and now we have Obama trying to tell people who go out and earn a living to give 40% of their money away on his new proposed plan? I honestly believe the entrepeneurs are going to say to hell with US soon and just split, then what are we going to do? The wealthy have the ability to just up and leave as far as i'm concerned, would they want to? Probably not, but they will if this new tax plan Obama is trying to push goes through. And then Obama has the nerve to shake all the hands of the enemies of the United States saying the words "America screwed up i'm sorry????" He's a terrorist. I think it's time for a revolution. Soon.

Except as provided in Subsection (b), a person is justified in using force against another when and to the degree the actor reasonably believes the force is immediately necessary to protect the actor against the other's use or attempted use of unlawful force. The actor's belief that the force was immediately necessary as described by this subsection is presumed to be reasonable if the actor:

(1) knew or had reason to believe that the person against whom the force was used:

(A) unlawfully and with force entered, or was attempting to enter unlawfully and with force, the actor's occupied habitation, vehicle, or place of business or employment;

(B) unlawfully and with force removed, or was attempting to remove unlawfully and with force, the actor from the actor's habitation, vehicle, or place of business or employment; or

(C) was committing or attempting to commit aggravated kidnapping, murder, sexual assault, aggravated sexual assault, robbery, or aggravated robbery;

(2) did not provoke the person against whom the force was used; and

(3) was not otherwise engaged in criminal activity, other than a Class C misdemeanor that is a violation of a law or ordinance regulating traffic at the time the force was used.

(b) The use of force against another is not justified:

(1) in response to verbal provocation alone;

(2) to resist an arrest or search that the actor knows is being made by a peace officer, or by a person acting in a peace officer's presence and at his direction, even though the arrest or search is unlawful, unless the resistance is justified under Subsection (c);




Shoot first ask questions later =)

I hate to say this but the reality is that most of you that post in this forum are ten times more informed then your neighbors. Now just think of all the people who do not watch the news because most of its bad news. I say this because out of all my friends their is about 10% that actualy grasp what is going on in the wold today and the other 90% just dont give a fck as long as its not on their actual front door.