Lumi,

Tu retrato está muy oscuro.

Te ves bien guapa, pero casi no te veo muy bien.

Your photo can be lightened with Photoshop. It's not that hard, for someone that knows how to use Photoshop.

Your profile's good.

I would recommend capitalizing "Korean" and changing "lookin" to "looking".

Beto

Cangel,

Well, you're showing your lacy underwear, bra, or whatever, so you're gonna get guys that wanna have sex with you. It's almost like a green light on the ol' control panel. Men get somewhat aroused when they see this kind of stuff.

I don't know what uploading a picture of a *flower* does for you. As a Web designer, I have to tell you. Less is more on the Internet, and the flower adds nothing. Men have to click a link to see more than six pictures.

I'd delete the last three pictures, unless they're your most recent ones. You look better in your other pictures.

Your first line seems a little negative, but hopefully you'll accomplish what you want with it.

Delete "Well" and "Basically". They help when you're getting your thoughts together, and they're good things to delete afterwards.

When I see, "looking for someone that can keep up with me," I don't consider the woman. For the most part, I don't compete with women. I had a girlfriend that saw things in this "keep up with me" way, and I've seen it done to an old roommate of mine. My take? You either like me the way I am now, or it's a nonstarter. On an online dating site, a "nonstarter" is a single click -- and poof, I'm looking at someone's profile that says, "I love you just the way you are." [Billy Joel]

I'm not going to freak out trying to be good enough for a woman that thinks she's 'all that,' whether she is or not. I might not want to run the same race. It's nice that you have a healthy ego, but...

Consider replacing "ya" with "you". (This is a personal choice.)

"Am I stubborn, heck yes!"
I really don't think this is helping you. Maybe it will ward off men that don't like women that are stubborn, and save you time (and maybe even a little heartache) -- or even *attract* a man that *likes* stubborn women.

You realize that "stubborn" has a negative connotation, don't you? Most men, I think, will be turned off by this. You can leave it in there as a filter, I suppose.

I wonder what kind of man contacts a "stubborn" woman.

> "Have I broken a man[']s heart before? Nope!"
Less is more. This adds little to nothing.
Men are reading this trying to get a feel for you, to decide if they want to ask you out.

To me, this doesn't really make much difference. Personally, I'm not such a wimp that I'm going to seek out a woman just because she's never broken anyone's heart before. I've had my heart broken before.

Mainly, I just think this doesn't say much.

"Have I gotten my heart broke[n] before? Yes, but who hasn't?"
Again, this doesn't add much. It doesn't tell us much about you.

You've gotten your heart broken, but who hasn't? So if it's so common, then it doesn't really distinguish you from many other women.

"Do I dwell on the past? Nope!"
Okay, now we know what you *don't* do. Less is more. This doesn't tell us much. Is there something you're trying to say here, because I'm not getting it.

"Am I fun-loving, wild, and sassy?"
This is good. It tells us about you -- although they're adjectives (fluff). Leave it in.

"Yes! Am I honest?"
This is huge. Leave this in.

"Heck yea[h] (will even tell ya if ya got a bad haircut)"
Very good. You're baldly honest. This tells us about you. People from where I grew up tend to be more blunt and baldly honest. I know where you're coming from. Besides, you're *supposed* to tell your partner if he's gotten a bad haircut. You're a stakeholder.

"Am I nice? Yes I am."
Good. Leave it in. Absolutely.

"Am I concided? Nope, I am just me."
Good.
Rather than using a negative, though, consider turning this around -- telling us what you *are*. "I am just me" is okay...

Overall, some of your prose could be condensed. Less is more, especially on the Internet.

You can change:
> Am I fun-loving, wild, and sassy? Yes! Am I honest? Heck yea (will even tell ya if ya got a bad haircut) Am I nice? Yes I am. Am I concided? Nope...<

Into:
I am fun-loving, wild, sassy, nice, and not conceited -- and I am so honest, I will even tell you if you've gotten a bad haircut!

"Anything else just ask." This adds nothing. Less is more. Delete it. We know we can ask.

> "then they leave once you no longer need them or you have learned what you needed to from them."<
Oh my gosh. This looks like a warning on a cigarette pack! <lol> This is so bad it's comical! It connotes "user", love 'em and leave 'em.

The next sentence is almost poetry. I really think you should rework the "they leave once you no longer need them" part. <lol>

I see some apparent contradictions in your profile:
(1) You have pictures of yourself in your lacy bra. You write, "I am not here for fwb's or a one night stand." You filter out men that are "seeking an intimate encounter."
Can't you get a picture of yourself in an evening gown, cocktail party dress, swimsuit, or something? I'm not saying don't 'flaunt it,' if that is what you want to do. Just do it in a classier way. You'll still achieve the same effect, without the downside.

(2) You wrote you're, "looking for someone that can keep up with [you]," but that you're not conceited. Do you think you're 'all that,' or don't you?

Good luck, Cangel.

Your profile needs work, but you've got a "Delete" key. You'll get there.

As it is, a lot of men won't read your profile, or will go into 'skim' mode.

Bob

Brenda,

Hmmm. I assume you mean your main photo.

Overall: I like it.

The brightness is good. It seems a little darker in the upper-right hand corner, or are your roots darker than the rest of your hair?

The photo seems a little blurry.

I think you look like a particular type, to me (Scandinavian? German?). For someone that specifically looks for this type, this photo is likely to encourage them to move ahead.

Your teeth look really white. That's a definite plus.

Your other photos complement your main photo well. Showing your body without looking sleezy (like you've done) will both encourage men to ask you out, but make them respect you as a person on your first date. Your photos say, "real person," to me.

The blue background complements your color very nicely. You really lucked out there, unless you planned that.

It's clear your hair is clean, another plus. Your other photos reinforce that "clean" image.

Looking at your *second* picture makes me think your hair is *too* clean. A little conditioner would 'dirty it up,' and make it look less like straw.

Your face looks very pretty to me. Hard to tell, but looks like it, so a little more clarity in a photo might do you good.

I can't get over the blue background. You have blue eyes, don't you?

Hmm. Have you considered a photo of you with a blue sky or ocean as background, or a blue lake -- or just a blue background, heck.

Your blouse color is nice, and complements your color.

I would stick with blouses that are either your hair color or your eye color. Maybe hair color with the blue background.

Good luck and welcome to Mingle2.

hth,
Bob

SimplyElla,

Thank you for your welcoming reply!

I tried to start with what makes me me. I know it's like a list, but I started off with things like, Long Island, Brazil, Spanish and Portuguese.

The things I wrote tend to have been caused by these influences, and distinguish me (to various degrees) from other men:

Open and honest: Long Island
Chivalrous: Brazil
Intense relationships that are full of love: Latin America
Nice: Latin America
Friendly: Brazil
Independent vs interdependent: Anerica vs. Latin America
We're all equal: Mexico

You wrote, "add in things you are looking to accomplish through this site."

The byline, "Looking for woman for relationship," isn't enough?

Bob

Wow, MelodyGirl! Thanks!

I never realized the website was cutting off my head to make a thumbnail!

I'll keep experimenting with cropping the photo until I get as much of me as possible, without it cutting my head off.

Yes, I take your suggestions as friendly -- and giving! Thank you for your time!

If I ever have more pictures of me, I *promise* I'll upload them. Right now, this one is all I have!

You wrote, "You did a good job of highlighting your interests but expand a little more."

By "expand", do you mean I should add in *more interests*, or describe them in *more detail*?

Thanks for letting me know about the possible "needy" perception. Did I tone it down enough? I got the "Less Independent" award on OKCupid. I've noticed that a *lot* of Latin Americans on OKCupid have this award. This only confirms something I noticed long ago. Americans are more independent than Latin Americans. I don't consider the 'award' a negative. I consider it a positive, but I certainly don't want to come off as "needy".

I personally *like* it when I see it. When I see the "More Independent" 'award, I think: "She doesn't need me." I want someone who really, really, really wants me!

The woman singing, Be a person "that needs people," comes to mind.

I'm just the type that believes in love, romance, passion, thrill, excitement, and admitting being a flesh-and-blood human being.

I'm not going to go the rest of my life without someone to share it with. Not if *I* have anything to say about it.

Yes, I want someone enough to consider that I "need" someone -- not as much as air, food and water -- but I can't love or be loved by an inanimate object. So I "need" a woman, because this is something I want in my life. I intend to pursue it.

I hope we can agree to disagree, because I really appreciate how your giving nature resulted in you helping a total stranger.

I consider, "Adults should not feel like something is missing if they are single," an opinion.

Moving on, you wrote, "Add something about the type of lady you wish to meet and date."

The ladies I like are athletic, thin, fat, short, tall, medium, all colors, races, national origins, college graduates, high school dropouts -- and age is just a number to me. See my problem?

I want an honest, polite, classy nonsmoker that's a good person. A mother that's not a good mother has about as much of a chance with me as she does getting blood out of a turnip.

I can't put stuff like this on my profile. It'll come off as negative, and it'll get me nowhere, because nobody's going to decide they're not a "good person."

"Honest, polite, classy," "good person" -- it's just fluff. Who's going to say, "I'd better not message him, because I'm not honest, polite or classy?"

I might get messages from women that like it that I *want* this, but that's not the result I'd be looking for.

You should critique résumés for a living. You're great!

Bob

Thank you Lilypetal and SimplyElla.

Lilypetal, I see you recommend that I add the type of woman I want best.

That could seriously cause women, that don't fit that description, to eliminate themselves. I might be very interested in them.

I'm not sure what kind of woman I want. There are a lot of different types that interest me, but two that don't.

I used to have smokers blocked from messaging me, but I don't really want that -- just eliminated from dating me!

A woman that I would like -- especially if she's Latin American -- would be honest and open.

I can't put that in a negative way. That would make my profile negative.

Few women would eliminate themselves, because who considers themselves sneaky and deceitful? (what ruined my marriage)

They're just adjectives, anyway -- fluff.

Bob

Lilfreaky_1,

Your profile seems to cover all you need to cover.

Pretty much just a picture -- and the byline -- I would think, in your case.

You might want to define "FREAK", as it can mean different things to different people (strawberry, kinky, nympho).

Consider putting something in there that reveals something unique about you. Maybe expand on your list of interests. For example, do you like to play soccer, go to games, watch it on TV, coach or referee it?

I think, in your case, the quality of your photo is everything.

Bob

Lilypetal,

Thanks for your advice.

Yes, I'm sure.

I would prefer something constructive, like what you wrote, to being ripped to shreds.

I don't have any more digital pictures of me, and I don't have a scanner or a digital camera.

Should I add a Spanish or Portuguese section? I think I'd be more conversational in those languages, especially now that you've gotten me thinking about it.

I've already been messaged by a South American that lived in Brazil.

Bob-Tuba

Just ladies please.
Thanks,
Bob