Just something I've been thinking about and I'd like some input. Please be kind to me. I'm a nice person. So...

Why is it that on this site, you might talk with people through email or IMs for some period of time and said people have the tendency to just disappear? These people may have been the one to initiate the interaction or you may have inititated it. Like they just stop responding to emails with no word as to why. They haven't left the site. They can be seen posting. They are actually reading the emails, but are choosing to simply not respond. Why is the courtesy of a "Sorry, it was nice chatting with you, but I'm not interested in continuing to do so..." given? I mean, you can tell someone you're not interested without being mean, right?

This hasn't happened to me recently, but it has happened in the past. I am just curious if this just happens to me or if it is a site phenomenon or just a life thing. And the big question...why would people act this way? Thoughts?

one word....rude

I don't know I get that too... but some times I just don't keep in touch with others that much as I used to.. maybe I get too busy? maybe someone else is grabbing more of my attention? i dont know what it is exactly... kind of sucks though... i get what you mean though...

I too demand an answer. You who do this know who you are.

I'd guess they do not have the courage to tell you they're not interested. Some people would rather not say anything at all and walk the other way.

They may also not want to open the door for the possible what's wrong with me return e-mail

It is very rude but effective.

I've had some that have simply fizzled out and that I understand. I try to respond to all emails that I get even if I'm not particularly interested. My responses then tend to be pretty generic and moving towards the "friends" idea.

But I've had people email me out of the blue, have really solid and frequent back and forth emails for several weeks, and then an abrupt halt. That's what I don't understand. Nothing seems to be wrong on either end and then

My experience has been a little different. When I was new here, I would try writing to some of the locals -- and I never got a reply. I gave up on the idea of writing to anybody first.

Once I had been in the forums for awhile, people started writing to me. That has never stopped. With the exception of a handful who have deactivated their accounts and left the site, I still talk to pretty much everybody I've been talking to since I've been here. It might not be every day, or even on a regular basis, but we still talk.

I still never hear from anyone local though.

They found someone better or something they don't like about you maybe?

They might show back up later...I've been guilty of letting my mail get away from me...and it took days to play catch up with it. I sent apology notes out, but don't think men do that so much.

I think people do not intend to be mean or negative. we humans just get all discombobulated at times.

The relative or total anonymity of places likes this encourages that type of behavior in people who are prone to behave that way. Just be thankful that you aren't married to them. :)

Sometimes I'm sure it's unintentional. I just had crazy finals going on for awhile right in the middle of some email correspondance with someone here, so she hasn't heard from me for a few weeks. Now it's taking me a little while to think of what to say to start it up again, aside from having just left a testimonial on her profile.

I had some like that too.. it is annoying... the ones that simply halt out of no where... i dont know how to explain them ones... i do know that i dont like them... ha ha.. that is why i stick to my trusting buddies... if you aren't willing to keep in touch your not willing to have my time spent on you... there are one or two i miss chatting with and seem to not understand what happened....

grr now you got me thinking about this and all that jazz LOL

Yup, I've experienced it too
Soo odd, but hey...their loss

So its not just me. I all most gave up emailing anyone never get one back. I even say thanks for checking me out when someone looks at my profile. All most never get a reply back.

There alot of things involved.
Mostly, I'd say that everyone has a life. This site is not what most would call a 'priority'. Sure, when you think you've started a friendship with someone and are interested in that continuing, you must put up an effort. But even good people are stuck with 24 hours in a day.
Be patient. Be understanding.
Not replying to an unsolicited email is not bad manners. Think of it this way ... if the person responds, most likely you've made a friend. To me, that is enough.
Just keep being you - no matter what someone else does/thinks/says.

Does it take the same form? I'm just very curious about this whole thing.

Rude, but effective. Hmmm... here I was trying to be optimistic about it. And people would send a "what's wrong with me?" email ... ha. Ok, I don't get it. It's not about that.

Well, that's fine...but why not say that? That's what I don't understand. Be direct and be honest. I don't understand why that's a difficult concept.

I appreciate the input from everyone though, thanks!

Ha...sorry bout that. Didn't mean to get anyone stressed out about it. But yeah, those are the ones that I don't understand.