Just curious to know. My wife all of a sudden decided that she wanted to seperate and in the mean time i thought things were going good. But she said something to me a few months ago that made me wonder. She said that she had so many compliments in the last 2 months like shes never had before. Then she says she needs to define her self but at the same time she is blameing me for all this.

I dont know what to think. She does look better than ever after having two kids but i just dont understand what the real reason for leaving is. We have normal marrage problems but nothing soo bad that we need to seperate.

Please give me some advice or let me know what you think.

Is this mid life crisis?

I dont know for sure if it is or not but you guys should go to counselling to try and figure things out.

sounds about right, my wife did the same thing thought the grass was going to be greener on the other side, thought she was going to be 25 again blah blah blah, she divorced me it lasted about 6 month, shes been asking me back ever since, she crushed me and i will not go back. well hope things work out for you.

You didn't say how long you have been married, but do you compliment your wife? Let her feel attractive to you? Could be she let you know about the compliments for a reason.

"Defining herself" could be the male version of "Needing Space" and is a vague explanation. My guess is she didn't "suddenly" decide to separate, but something else is the catalyst for this.

Counseling is good if you can get her to go. Maybe you will find out what is really going on.

Thanx!!! I mean it.

Hate to agree here, but this is a possibility. Someone else could be paying her some attention and making her feel things she thinks she is missing with you.

There are far too many reasons for a spouse moving out. Clearly, she is not happy. Mid-life crisis? Doubtful!

There are reasons behind what she has done and the only way, if she won't clearly talk to you about them, is marriage counseling. Find a good marriage counselor. I say "good" because many are not good at all. One who comes via high recommendation is best.

If your wife refuses marriage counseling, then her mind is already made up and that may be for, again, any number of reasons. In that case you may never fully understand the "why". Unless of course, you suddenly see her appearing with another man in her life.

I agree with Gypsy. There is a lot to say on this, but it's best left to a professional. However, one thing you might want to consider is how attentive you have been to her as a woman. I don't mean just sexual needs or how you treat her as a wife and mother.

Women dont just "leave". They think about it for a long time first.......

Ive always thought maybe this could be about another man but shes never been like that. But she went from being depressed to being very happy over night and i didnt figure it out for about 2months then i asked her what was going on and she said last she lost feelings for and that she thought she couldnt get them back.

I would say AT LEAST THIS..
Unless YOU TRY to TALK with each other about her why's and seek to be humble to find out...open mind and ears to really HEAR her reasoning..
If SHE doesn't want to talk about it or seek counselling, there is nothing more YOU can do except abide by her requests to leave...SEE-YA..

Life is to short to HAVE LOVE,,,then to get where ya just PLAY with that love..

Make it work or say goodbye.. GOOD Luck

This is very true.

If you saw no problem until she "all of a sudden" decided to separate then you must have not been paying attention or you were too busy to notice.

We guys tend to forget to EARN the relationship; EVERYDAY.
when I learned that, many things changed.
We were close to a split & put it back together.
Counseling really helped, ck your local YWCA.
Where we went.

This IS true... Took me forever........

But why does everyone give up i thought marrage was for life and thats how weve both been brought up.I was in it for the long hall. We have kids money everything we could ask for.

The key word in that last sentence is we. How do you figure "we" since clearly something is missing for her. I see at least part of the problem. YOU have (had) everything you could ask for. She is leaving and yet you still refuse to acknowledge that something is missing for her. Why is that?

I feel for you buddy,
My ex left similarly. She started working at a new place, With a younger crowd. Started going out. Started not coming home.
She left for a younger man who lived in his mothers basement.
He cheated on her and left her with a ton of debt after she cosigned her life away. Oh, Well.
I guess a home and a devoted man wasn't worth the compliments of a hound.
By the way, I lost my home, But got my kids.

I hope you guys find the right path before it's too late. But don't stop your life in false hope either.

Good luck,
G.

everything we could ask for...........SHE doesn't FEEL 'this way', or YOU and HER would not have ANY problems..

YOU need to HEAR her and FEEL her heart and how she is feeling inside about WHY she isn't happy no-more.
And if she tells you YOU need to WORK on fixing what her mind is feeling as to YOUR'S NOT SEEING her side of YOUR marrage...
GOOD LUCK......

For years I tried to get my husband to understand what I needed. He spent more time trying to validate why I should NOT feel this way.

It still amazes me that he was SHOCKED when I left.

It was not until then that he actually wanted to listen (allegedly)... but by then it was too late.