The Difference Between Men and Women

If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY:

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS:

A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS:

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS:

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP:

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL:

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

Any married man should forget his mistakes.

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

I was going to say testicles, nevermind.

I thought it was boobs.....oh well

women are smarter JMO Had to say it I really did

You are so right! Funny but so true.

Im Lucky if my father remembers my name. .. But somehow he's aware i owe him money.

MYSPACE:

Woman use it to chat with friends and keep up on latest gossip.

Men use it as a reminder of a Holiday or anniversary - and only then realize its either when they get comments and emails about it.

the difference between men and woman as my 5 year old daugther said.

men have a thing and woman have a dot.

they learn so young

These are hilarious. I got some good laughs out of them, and I need some good laughs today, too. Thanks for sharing these!

my son,7 says:boys rule,girls drue.apparently we all have cooties also.

You didn't know that all girls have cooties?

Funny, I thought girls rule,and the guys druel.
And cooties wash off!

Lmao well thought we all needed a good laugh if we can't laugh at the things in life then what fun is it anyway!!

The funniest part of this to me is. How it is OK for a MOD to post in the wrong spot but everything else gets moved! Talk about double standards here.

Sometimes. Other times she is just talking to herself. I have long sense walked away.

Maybe she meant it to be a general discussion as opposed to a joke.

Humm and to you what is the right spot it is not a joke its more about things in life we can laugh at so therefore it is one that can remain in General.

Besides the rule is if it is an either or it can stay in General.

Such a man hater!

What can I say, other than love the ladies!
Browie points never hurt.

funny thing,

we just had this discussion over supper....

When a man goes into a store, he knows exactly what he wants, he will be there just long enough to purchase it, when a woman goes into a store, she will be there until the new line of clothing comes out. or until it's time for Oprah, lol...all bets are off now. Ladies, come on....it didn't take them that long to build the store...kids have gone through college...Nasa has designed a new space shuttle and where are you? still trying on shoes lol....

Men....the funny thing is....when she gets home she has exactly what she bought, when we get home ...we have to take it back lol...

Women are just more conscientious, than men, they do little things just to put that little bit of thought out there, when we don't notice...they just try again...

Women....Gods gift to Man
Men...... A project for women.

Think about it, i don't think i missed by much.....