my point of this thread is to help others where i feel i didn't have the help...but then i had to open my mouth and ask.

i just didn't know of anyone with the problem to go to and ask.

although i found out later that mom suffers from comfort eating and my sister battled bulemia

HBO did a whole thing on it. bunch of skinny women in a circly with the gowns falling of their sharp shoulders.

i guess my question is how to get them there? how would you approach someone you know to advise them to go?

i realize you can't make people get better..but how do you suggest it

Not quite sure. I suggest you go to a meeting yourself talk to people there they can probably help.

Thanks foer explaining. I sure understand the wanting to dissapear part! I did. I left. I left 6 years ago with my dog & 2 suitcases, now doing better than I ever have in my life, away from my crazy family, & exes. I am figuring out what it was about me that allowed me to except thier abuse.

i never thought of that. good thought

it's symbolic to the outside world but very real to those with it.

when things build up or they are anxious or overly stressed...they tend to purge (same reason people cut themselves)....yes i learned about all sorts of things

depression and wanting to fade away makes people tend to not eat.

it's all self destructive but it happens.

When I feel like that I used eat chips & chocolate. different reaction to the same feelings. I have pretty much stopped that, but am still stuck at about 200 lbs. I was at 199 for a week, & could not stay there! ok so its out in the open for all the guys that won't chat with me the hen wieghs over 200 lbs!

but the good thing is you see the problem. you aren't as likely to fall into it because you are smart enough to see things. i think it's more of an issue of how we view ourselves like i said before

but i do know that worrying about being perfect or how others see me is what got me into the mess to begin with. there were other factors that i learned though. it's not always about looks. usually it's something deeper.

you are great as you are now...but if you aren't happy with something then i would say change it but change it for you not for anyone else

i hoped with this thread is anyone suffering might learn something or vent or if they don't want to say anything here...they can email me without fear of judgement or gossip.

i've been there done that and know how it feels and would never do that to someone

yep that's in my profile.

Níl mé paiteanta, ach is mise an-mhaith mé

Gaelic for "I'm not perfect but I'm a great me"

Great saying

My friend went through a bulemic and anorexic period, was living on cigarettes and coffee and would throw up everything she ate, she got down to a size 0, and was tiny. She admitted to me that it was the first time in her life her parents paid attention to her, they always fawned allover their middle daughter and youngest son but ignored her, now they were paying attention to her, trying to make her eat, threatening her, etc. She said it was the one thing in her life she had control over, her eating. The only thing that made her stop it was when she started to lose her hair and her periods stopped, and her husband then told her he was leaving her, that he couldn't stand by and watch her starve herself to death, then she started to eat again and has not had a problem since. But still is quite thin, still does cigarettes and coffee for breakfast, and mainly one meal a day, dinner.

I think control is part of it. Lack of self esteem. She got attention for it, attention she had been craving all her life from her parents.

I am the other way, am overweight, and eat when I am stressed and depressed. I swear I started being depressed when I was 3 or 4 years old, long story, but had a totally dysfunctional mother and we were actually forced to "clean our plates" as little kids and they gave us big plates of food, adult-sized, when we were 4 and 5 (my middle brother and I), not my baby brother. My cousin was telling me about this after my mom died. She said we used to cry that we were full and couldn't eat any more and my mom would yell at us to clean our plate and wouldn't let us leave the table until we did. I have used food for comfort during stressful times, have lost and gained many times and every time I gained, the pounds that come back brought their friends.

I have tried groups and counseling, it has all helped me understand different parts of my illness. I even went obsessive compulsive on a diet one time and did the water pills and laxatives and vomiting, so that scares me now too, as I am working on losing again, but working hard to not go obsessive again. Feel like I am walking a tightrope sometimes, really easy to fall off, and someone keeps moving the damn net.

I truly believe in therapy, lots of support, whether group or individual to help with overcoming the eating disorders or drug or alcohol, is really hard to do it alone.

Good luck.

ty for sharing that marie. best of luck to you.

for me however...i hid mine. you are it though...it is about control. to most it's being able to control something when you feel out of control in other things. you can control this and it's usually something that you don't share because you don't want others to take control over it.

That is true Rose. I would guess the trick is learning to be comfortable with your body and the food you eat and not have to have that rigid control over your body anymore. Learn to accept yourself, your flaws for what they are and learn to be happy with who you are. I am working on that, not there yet. I think self esteem is a big part of it, I am working on regaining mine, and hope things will be easier once I get better on that level with myself.

Take care, I really need to get to bed. Have a good night.
Good post, thanks for bringing it up.

ty for the posting marie. have a great one hun

Marie great comments , I was hesitant to say it, but I do think some do it for attention. Are they true bulimics ? If not, I am sure it could lead there. I think this was my sister's thing, because she never got really thin, she's always been just right, quite cute. She is a very intelligent & sucussful person, a RN with a master's degree & teaching now. Her episodes alway seem to occur at big effents like weddings, graduations ect. Where she is not the center of attention. I am not discounting the problem, just exploring a possible cause. It's a shame that anyone that successful still feels like they are "not good enough". I try to pay attention to anyone that is sending out those signals, this could lead to many many other problems, suicide, even acting out like the Columbine killings. Everyone should be loved!

I am sorry, I never meant my post to be taken that all people suffering from anorexia or bulemia are only looking for attention, my girlfriend told me that was the case in her instance, that that was the one time she got attention from her parents.

I know there are cases out there that the people cannot control, there are people dying of the diseases daily, if they only wanted attention, they would stop before they died. People with the severest forms of the disease need intense therapy and usually inpatient therapy.

If you are suffering from any eating disorder, I hope you go for help, either individual or group therapy so that you can get some help with your illness and feel better about yourself and live a healthy life.
Take care.