Ah, church

You are correct. It take time to truely know someone. For true love it will never end.

Find a Good Man by changing your selection process


Women constantly complain about not being able to find a suitable mate. This is a easily correctable situation. Change the selection process. You see, women and men differ in one major area of selecting a stable mate. Women love with their hearts first and brains second. By the time they discover the guy is a complete loser it’s too late, she’s hooked and spend enormous amounts of time and energy making excuses to friends and family trying to cover up his flaws.

Men on the other hand, generally love with their brain first and heart second. Many times in the past I’ve met women whom were totally amazing on the surface but underneath all that beauty, they were full of sh**. All my friends would complement me on a great catch and secretly I’d be devising a plan to get rid of her ass at the first opportunity. This is because as a man, after being damaged as a teenage boy I’d learned that it wasn’t healthy to give my heart to anyone. The woman whom would finally get it would earn it, and until I was ready it wasn’t going to be a easy task.(PLEASE NOTE. I KNOW I'M STILL YOUNG LOL!!)

Women give their heart to the wrong men, men whom have not earned it in anyway possible and probably really doesn’t even want it. He probably wanted something that is a little bit lower on your anatomy. However, since you’re already in love with him you’ve probably given him that too. Trust me when I tell you this ladies, when you give up that intimacy you’ve already lost and don’t even know it.

CHECK THIS:
Flaw #1- Put looks on the back burner. I don’t expect you to select a man whom doesn’t take care of himself (hygiene, weight, etc) but believe me when I say you also don’t want a man whom spends more time in the mirror than you do. If he does, chances are is that you are only a pit stop because he’s trying to look good for all women.
Seek out someone whom takes care of himself and is appealing to your eyes and your eyes only. Treat it like your clothes shopping, somethings you like and your girlfriends don’t, like those shoes you just brought. It may not appeal to them but they make you happy. Dating outside your race is fine, so check out men you’ve never looked at before. Is this a problem? Your family, friends or co-workers don’t approve? Think of it this way, who’s happiness are you really trying to secure anyway? Yours or theirs? Now seeking a man of another race is cool, but outside your economic status is not. You can seek a man who makes more money that you, but beware of the man that you make a lot more money than he does. Some men, not all, are a little less comfortable with their potential mate being the breadwinner. Also, if the gap in incomes is really large, he could possibly feel you’re only with him out of boredom and that as soon as you find someone more along your economic lines you’ll be gone in a flash. So be careful with this and if you are a CEO of a Company, don’t start a relationship with the guy in the mail room because you think he’s cute.

Flaw #2- Women have what I like to call the Florance Nightingale syndrome. You ladies kill me with this, you select guys that you know are full of sh** and because you see something in him that attracts you, you feel that if you could possibly fix everything else he’ll be perfect for you. Wrong! You cannot win this battle, and this is why. Five years elapse and one morning you look across from you and he’s laying there sleeping. Now after this time he’s either (a) still the same sorry prick that he was when you met him and he’s never going to change. Or (b) he’s now the most wonderful husband anyone could ever ask for. Takes care of the kids and you, provides a nice lifestyle for your family and your friends love him. However, in both cases you lose. Why, because the first guy you just lost five years on an idiot. The second guy, now he’s not the man you fell in love with, he’s a different person than the man that attracted you in the first place. Now you’re no longer in love with him because your project is finished. So, you just threw away five years for nothing. The moral to this dilemma is don’t try to change someone to fit what you are looking for , instead find the person that already possesses what you need. In the end, you’ll both be that much more happier.

Flaw#3- Change the places you look for men. Even better than that stop looking. The right man will certainly find you if you’re not walking around with that I need a man look on your face. Looking for a suitable mate in a bar or nightclub is asinine. Women whom meet men in these environments are looking for sex, not love.

Flaw #4- Keep your legs crossed. If you don’t have a man and you’re hoping to soon find one, my advice to you is to go out and purchase a very good vibrator. Because to find the right one you’re going to have to go through at least six whom only want one thing. To separate the dogs from a good man it’s simple. Make it a rule in your life, any man that you date you will not sleep with until after six months! That’s right, six months! This is why, if he is just after sex, he’ll be gone at the end of a month.

Flaw #5- When he tells you how he feels about you or talks about a future with you, don’t sit around trying to dissect his words. Calling your girlfriend on the phone and running it by her will only confuse you even more. Here’s a simple way to determine if what he’s telling you is how he really feels or it’s B.S., ask yourself, does his actions really match what he’s telling you. If the answer to that question is no, they don’t, then you know he’s lying and just playing with your feelings. It’s really that simple. There is no real secret to understanding relationships than to think for yourself. Take your heart out of the relationship, take a step back and look at it as if you weren’t really involved. People are quick to give other people advice about what they should do, but when it comes to their own they make the same mistakes they’re giving you advice on.

Flaw #6- All the stuff that the new guy you met tells you about his ex, is probably a lie. So don’t buy into it. He’s not about to tell you that he was caught cheating on her, or that he didn’t work during their entire relationship and she paid all the bills. He’s not about to tell you that he hit her or was verbally abusive. He’s going to tell you that she cheated on him or something to that effect because he needs for you to view him as a victim. People tend to treat victims a little nicer, don’t you think? Two things to remember: (1) every story has two sides,(not just his), (2) and if things don’t work out between you and him, then to the next girl he meets you will be the bad guy. Is that what you’d like to be? A real man, never talks about his ex.
(I GUESS!!)

I hope there is something in this lesson that you can take with you that will help you in your search. I also hope something here keeps your heart safe. Also, let me remind you, if there is something you’d like to know that I haven’t talked about e-mail me or leave a comment and I’ll write something about the topic you were interested in. My aim is to assist you ladies in any manner I can.

yes, it can happen...but not without work, dedication and love.

And I suppose your quality is never to be met by another individual like everyone else.

Most of what EMIT wrote is pretty much the truth in protecting your heart. It's funny...you hear this most of your life and until it is put together in a paragraph or two..it doesn't connect.

I am not saying that i am a professor ho knows everything, but i have seen things just like anyone esle, i know some reality of relationships and i am yet to learn.
One thing for sure, it doesn't matter how old you are, male or female, your life on earth will never catch up yo the extent of a genuine and peace abiding relationship.
We may grow old and die, and guess what? the game goes on and on, it never gets old, it beats us down while we are saying i am a great mate, i can do better.
THE REALITY OF A RELATIONSHIP JUST DOES NOT TALK, IT WORKS, CREATES HISTORY, LEAVING US TO BUILD ON IT AND LEARN FROM IT.

I AM STILL STILL GROWING, I HAVE LOTS TO LEARN.

It's spelled "M-E-D-I-C-A-T-I-O-N"


lilangel..