Sarah: Being in a 12 step program the last 15yrs. I have to remind myself daily who I am, what I am and where I came from. We call it keeping it green and that's what really works for me.
I pray I never lose myself again whether in a relationship or alcohol. Sometimes it really is tough.

I agree with you unsure.......but Im more independant not just with money but alot of things....I can actually go shopping by myself, go to the beach by myself, travel by myself........it does get lonely at times....

I never want to answer my door at 3 am to see my ex drunk, and smeared makeup crying wanting to get back together after getting caught in a lie and me breaking up with her. Go home.

lol biker do ya need a hug? wow where did that come from???

It must be very tough Twitch. I can only imagine. I have never had to deal with an addiction but learning to love yourself and know yourself takes time. In fact it never ends. If you feel like you ever figured it out...wait a minute and you'll realize that's not so. I give you a ton of credit for stayin focused and remaining true to yourself. Not an easy thing to do.

Ladies, none of us should have to give up anything like friends, family, etc. it's called balance -- a healthy man understands that. Men shouldn't have to give it up either. I don't want to be joined at the hip 24/7; I don't think that's healthy. He had a life before I came along. But that doesn't mean I don't want cuddling, romance, etc. I think when you find right person, I think we can have it all.

being independent does not mean you do not need or want certain ppl in your life.

Biker, DON"T ANSWER THE DOOR!!!

biker but I only had 14 drinks!!!

& Sarah, This thread is a year old!!!
you couldn't of hurt it...

lol@gypsy

It comes from the question of being too independent or too little. Quit thinking so much. The relationship is a go or a no go. When its over for a major infraction and trust is gone its over. Quit analizing it. Does that make sense?

I don't know if I am strange or what...but I really never get lonely. I am very content with my life the way it is...I think maybe its because of my past illness? I have just realized that life is to short and I live each day and I enjoy my boys to much to worry about a man!!
I guess I am at that stage in my life to where I don't NEED a man in my life BUT I would LIKE a man in my life. If it doesn't happen that is fine with me.
haha I don't think my ex would come over knocking at my door at 3 am...then again they know how I am at that hour in the morning!! I am a witch when someone wakes me up unless its an emergency...they better be half dead or I am going to kill them

Gypsy: sometimes it does get lonely for me too and it's not always easy for me to stay focused and remember what's good for me. It's easier to do the wrong thing sometimes; in my experience there's always a consequence. For me (and I'm only speaking for myself) there is a reason for everything in my life (good or bad) and things happen just the way they're supposed to. I may not like it or understand it but that's the way it is for me. I am a very happy person and a grateful person. Just talking to you ladies today has made a difference.

Unsure, from my standpoint, I disagree with your perception of a males view of independence. My take is you think we're looking for a rich babysitter that will go away when we don't want them around.
To me it has little to do with money. Independence has more to do with being responsible for yourself and your actions. Being able to stand on your own two feet when you're alone. Being able to think for yourself. Not HAVING to rely on someone else for YOUR happiness. Having your own opinions and being able to voice them without feeling like you need another's approval. Being happy with yourself! That sort of thing is what independence means to me. Maybe I'm wrong.

Biker I cant stop thinking....I analyze everything and even analyze my analyzing....I come from a long line of analyzers

LOL thanks Catch!
and Unsure, there is nothing wrong with you at all. You know what you want and your unwilling to settle for anything less. The fact is that you are happy with yourself and thats a great thing. More power to you!

Kid hit it right on the head. That's a man who is secure in himself.

here i went & stole this for you guys...

The Two Days We Should Not Worry

- Author Unknown


There are two days in every week about which we should not worry. Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is Yesterday, with all its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.

Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday.

We cannot undo a single act we performed. We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone forever.

The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow, with all its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and its poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, for it is yet to be born.

This leaves only one day, Today. Any person can fight the battle of just one day. It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities, Yesterday and Tomorrow, that we break down.

It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad, it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.

Let us, therefore, Live but one day at a time.

Twitch your so right...
there are no coincidences...everything has a purpose, good or bad.