As a matter of course, I always offer to pay for dinner on the first date. That just seems like the gentlemanly thing to do. If my date offers to split the cheque, I reassure her that she doesn't need to. I think I might quit doing that, though, or even requesting to split the cheque.

I had a date last Thursday evening where I paid. On Friday afternoon, I emailed her to thank her for a great evening. No response. Tonight, I called her to ask her to dinner and she had decided not to pursue a relationship with me. By all means, that's her right, but it seems like she must have had a notion of this at the end of our date. I feel a little bit cheated that she let me pick up the cheque.

I don't mind paying for my half of the check. I don't think is fair for the guy on the first date. We don't know if we are going to click, or not. Just on the first date....

First of all, I would be frustrated too! You are being a total gentelmen which is great! I feel like if a man asks me out and he is choosing where to take me then he should pay. However, if we have been on more then one date then splitting the bill would be ok if she offers.

I always pay for everything all the time. No Problemo.

if you ask a lady out you should pay doesnt mean she should order the most expensive stuff on the menu but thats just me.the other day the people i was with paid the tab but i wanted another drink so i bought my own.i never beg people to buy me things

Just be glad you weren't taken for a lot more.

Its called dating some work out some dont....move on

hmmm im hungry...wanna date?

sometimes they pay..sometimes i pay...i always make sure to have extra cash on hand just in case...but we tend to work things out before hand...although, most guys wont even let me leave the tip...they insist on paying even if it was decided that i would pay...i dont know!

Just remember you get what you pay for.... start "requesting" partial payment of dates... and you will get the kind of dates that will "pay" for dates.... Is that really what you want?

My rule of thumb is... the guy always pays for the first date... or thinks he is going to...ie if we go to a movie he buys the tickets and I'll get the popcorn... Or if he pays for the first date, i'll pay for the second... but it tells me alot about a guy and how he handles the check.....

A guy picks up the tab. Period. Out with a bunch of friends, out with the in-laws, out with coworkers... anywhere out to dinner, the guy picks up the check.

If that involves talking to the server ahead of time and making sure the bill is brought to you, that's what you do.

It's a simple thing.

So you feel cheated because she didn't like you ? so everything has strings attached WOW .. that is wierd to me if I give something to someone be it dinner or a drink or a present I don't normally put conditions on it .. no wonder things aren't going so well ...

Well, I guess I'm in the wrong here. My feelings are still hurt, but the prevailing wisdom is that they shouldn't be.

Maybe I'm not the gentleman that I think I am. It no longer feels good to buy a perfect stranger dinner "just because." Lily, you say that you can tell a lot about a guy by the way that he handles the cheque. That as much as tells me that picking up the cheque can and should be a calculated move by the man if he wants to make a good first impression. Well, it hardly seems worthwhile to try making a good first impression when the woman's mind is already made up. I haven't had a second date in months, but I'd be several hundred dollars richer if I'd asked my dates to split the cheque.

The captain observes the protocol that whoever makes the invitation and takes care of the check, all of the check. The captain wouldn't do a first or second date at a five star restaurant unless expense account money was involved.

Anyone making an invitation should choose a venue within their means. If not, it's kinda trying to make a false impression anyway. And isn't it really more about sharing someone's company than trying to play Donald Trump?

I don't really think much about the cost of a meal. I'm fortunate these days and I'm grateful. But, when I was broke, I could still make quite an evening grilling whatever meat and veggies I could afford, listening to good music and drinking homemade beer or wine.

I guess the long and short of it is that if FEELS LIKE somebody said nice things to me for a couple of hours and pretended that she liked me to get a free dinner. I don't feel like a gentleman. I feel like a chump. If I had left the date with no sense of chemistry, I wouldn't feel this way. As it is, we were the last ones left in the restaurant after it closed. We had talked for hours. I left feeling like a great connection had been made. Now I just feel like she was leading me on so that I'd buy her food.

Nothing but a dine and dash on the first 3 dates for me

I haven't had a second date since July... the guy either expects to be taken home after a date, or he is so rude to the waiters and anyone else we come into contact with that I say c-ya right after.... but I don't make a second date... that's kinda the point.... I'm picky and have high standards... if a guy doesn't meet them... he's out. I am a woman of quality, and I will settle for no less than a quality man.... period, amen, end of story..... If a guy wants me to pay for 1/2 of the first date... he goes right in the friend box... and there is no return from the friend box.... Pick up the check... and next time I will... I'm fair about it... but I won't settle for a guy that looks at a date in the way that you described.... "you pay 1/2 cuz I don't know if I like you enough to pay for the whole thing"...... That guy is out on his ear....

My point is, treat me right, and you will get treated right in return... I'm sorry your date didn't end as you had hoped... but it could have been worse... she could have strung you along and you really would have made an investment....

hahahahahaha you have the same complaint women have had for years, but take the buying dinner out and add sex into it.... I've had men talk all nice for hours and hours then when they realize they arn't getting any....I'm a b*tch.... So the same thing applies.... I feel like a dumb broad, as I thought the guy really was into me, when all he really wanted to get into was my pants....

It's the same story, just a different twist.... Welcome to the club... there are pastries here.... they are nice....

I'd be doing pretty good if I could afford toay for meals. Coffee & snacks'd be about my speed right now. Hanging out, watching TV, taking a walk and shooting the breeze'd be more my speed right now!

and there is nothing wrong with that.....