Hello evryone,
My name is Brandyn and I had been shut down emotionally for a few years.I met someone in the beginning of Dec. Evrything was clicking together. Here I was again falling in love when I never thought I could again. everything was perfect. We laughed and played and had a great sex life. We truely enjoyed our time together. I was trying not to make any mistake i made before in a relationship. I really wanted this to work. I was sending her flowers to work, telling her how gorgeous she was. I opened the truck door for her everytime .I lit her cigarettes and went out of my way for her. I even watched her kids when they were sick so she could go to work. Which meant I didn't go to work. just to help her out. I went out of my way for her. Why , because I thought she was special.

From the time we met we had stayed with eachother. Since Dec 5 I had stayed at my house like 4 times.The night before valentine I snuk a dozen roses in and put them on table for her to see when she woke up.Along with a heartfelt card telling her what she mnt to me. On valentine day the kids were there. After they went to bed I started setting up the house while she was showering. I had candles in the bedroom with rose peddles all over the place . I got her chocolate covered strawberries and bought her a diamond heart shaped pendant. This was a very romantic evening. She says I never stop surprising her. All this time she was telling me I was everything she was looking for! that she was in love with me!!That she didn't feel like she deserved the way I treated her.Keep in mind she told me that alot.And told her friends the same.

Well, then friday Feb 18ish we went out. We didn't get back till like 4;30 am. I HAD TO WORK AT 8am . She knew that but I wanted her to have fun. I went to work on sat and she was going out sat night. I had to work sun to. So I wasn't going to see her all weekend. She was shopping and I said I needed to see her. I had recntly learned info about my finances that had me stressed. I wanted to see her just for a moment if any. Just to see her smile and hug her! I needed her and she thought that i just wanted to ruin her night. She really thought I wanted her to stay with me and not go with her friends. Trust me that wasn't the case. I just wanted to see her. Well anyway about 12 am or so i called and she asked what my prob was. She said that she was out with her friends and "no guy was going to interupt her evening with her friend. Basically she compared me to a normal guy I felt. I was no whr near a normal guy. I was the first to ever send her flowers at work. Or take her and kids skating .Alot of stuff in general she had never had done for her before. No candle lit bedroom no gifts or anything like that. I loved spending time with her. And couldn't wait to see her. Anyway i am not a normal guy to her and it made me mad.

So i went to her house and got all my stuff out of it. i was thinking she would freak out and say " oh **** i am going to lose this guy, he treats me so good i don't want that to happen". well it didn't work that way. She freaked out pretty much called it quits. She said she wasn't ready for all this. I don't understand, if i was everything she was looking for ,and she had told me she loved me. why would she call it quits.I don't understand even after she knew how my past had been. She knew how hard it was to give my heart away again ,and she got it and crushed it.What should I do ??? Should i fight for her or should I just leave her alone saying well it is your lose.I just don't understand how she could change her mind so quik???? I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and i don't know what to do anymore. I am lost in love and I can't do anything about it.

should have never lit her cigs man!

Hey Brandyn

First off, sorry to hear that you're going through all this, after what you've been through before.

I don't know why she all of a sudden freaked out. It could be that she's immature, wasn't ready for the seriousness of the relationship, was scared of the seriousness of the relationship, or she's a psycho player. Who knows? I say forget her. You don't need someone who is going to treat you like that, after all that you did for her (which it sounds like she took advantage of, by the way).

Move on, keep the happy memories, and know that you will find happiness. Doesn't necessarily mean it has to be with another person.

She may have over reacted when you called and said you needed to see her that night...but you going to her house and removing all your stuff was even more of an over reaction. Basically, it says,"if I can't have my way, you can't have me". You may not have meant to end it, but removing all your personal items from her home....um...what was she supposed to think?

Sounds like she needed her space my friend...

Wow Romancing.. I'm sorry that happened to you.. I'm thinking that she didn't treat you very nicely, maybe she got nervous... Honestly, I would call, email, or send flowers and try to talk about it... It sounds like you had something very special and things that special deserve a second chance..... One thing though.. You seemed to have done all the giving, now I know this is only one side of the story but what did she do for you? Don't ever give sooo much without getting some of that love, affection and attention in return otherwise you end up not being appreciated... It's a 2 way street... One may always love more but both should work to make each other happy and do those special little things.. Best of luck to you!

well i understand that point and I said i was sorry over and over. i really wasn't thinking when i did that.

Funny I was thinking the same thing...kiss of death.A guy that will light a broads cigarettes is brow beaten and eunich like

how she treated me.....?? Well it didn't matter her smile alone made me happy. Her touch ,her kiss on my cheek every morning. The way she hugged me and things she told me was enough for me.

so you needed nothing out of the relationship??? to me that screams pent up resentment later...

well i needed to be treated with the same respect in return. I guess this has happened for a reason. My friends all tell me I am to good to be treated that way. After all I do and have been thru I deserve to be spoiled ....I agree some what with that . But ,I want to make her happier then she had ever been. First.

Romance pick a lane... You say you deserve to be spoiled yet you say all you needed was the smile on her face... Either is your choice but you can't complain about one while professiong to only need the other... Your friends tell you what they see but that's bc they're going to see your side almost always... The point is DID YOU OR DIDN'T YOU get what you needed from her i.e. respect those special little things that people do to show their love... OR did she just take and only say "I love you, you're so special"???

Bottom line is how could she just shut her feelings off like that?? How could I go from everything she wanted to not wanting to be with me anymore over our first tiss??? It is stupid... this is why it is so freaking hard to fall in love!

Try to see things from her point for a moment. The first time she does something you don't like (not seeing you when you wanted her to), you remove all signs of yourself from her home. Maybe...and I'm only specualting, she's feeling the same way. You acted like an ass and ran at the first hint of trouble.


(Just playing devil's advocate here)

yes but, I am not the one saying what she said to me and taking it back. I understand that she could be being a ass to but at least I called and said "look I made a mistake I was mad and I truely do love you . I want to make this work ,let me fix this" she says" its not fixable" ???? If I meant anything to her why wouldn't it be fixable? I mean love is so hard to find why do we throw it out at the first sign of trouble? We do it all the time.

I think this girl is really messed up in the head at this point. I don't understand any of it at all. Except that i overreacted and messed up when I took my things. But ,I don't understand why I shouldn't be forgivn.unless she was just using me for sex!! Which I don't mind being used for it . JUST DON'T TELL US U LOVE US JUST BECAUSE OF THE SEX !!! That is some bc for sure.

yeah. but not all of us run over and get all our stuff out!
some of us don't get a chance and find our pants and shirts
stuffed with flammable confetti and set on fire in effigy
in the front yard and never get our toiletries ever again!!

I can't answer why she won't forgive you. But...as an outsider...I see you say things like "she's really messed up in the head" and I ask myself...would I want to be with a man that said stuff like that about me behind my back? Obviously she doesn't know you're saying it...but we do. Do you really want to be with someone that you feel that way about? Love does NOT conquer all. And just because you had a great 2.5 months together, that doesn't equal forever. Sometimes..people will be having unexpressed concerns..and it only takes one action to put them over the edge.

Moving your stuff out to gain a reaction sounds like a little game playing going on ... mmmm

well I just don't understand it that is all.