Ok, fair warning: This is going to be really long and fairly brutally honest. Some people will most likely be offended, since our culture has grown steadily more offended by anything truthful. But in a society which thrives on fake reassurance and sugar coated compliments for the most mundane and trivial things, here is my open letter to the users of JSH:

1) Use english right! ([sic] ) I can hardly ever tell what some of you are saying when you post some scrambled jargon which loosely resembles English, but also has uncanny similarities to the musings of a braindead squirrel. I'm not talking about typos, those I can deal with. I'm talking about when your sentences look like they're the product of a dictionary gagging after a long night with tequila: "When can has if you are lady looking and does you think this matter?" And then later on in the post, you apologize "for not using spellcheck". Hey, FYI, spellcheck's got nothing to do with that literary nightmare.

Suggestion: Try spending a quick 2-3 seconds re-reading your text before you post. If it doesn't quite make sense to you as the person who conceived it, then it definitely won't make sense to the reader. The topics presented this way are usually no less intriguing than the others, but they wind up with only 5 responses, all of which include the " " emoticon. It would help your topics if we could understand them.

2) Cite! If you're making an argument based on anything besides opinion, tell us what you're basing it on! Making a wild argument based on believable sources is better than making a basic argument with no sources at all. When you tell me that all Toyotas are bought by muslims, I'm not likely to believe you unless you can give me some sort of credible information about it. For the record: blogspot.com/ihatemuslims, would never be a credible source in this situation.

Suggestion: If you are particularly knowledgeable in a certain area because of a job or college major, state that as your reason for your argument. If you heard it on tv, state that...depending on your source people may or may not be swayed to your argument, but without a source at all it's very hard to believe an argument.

3) Respect. There are a LOT of different viewpoints on this website, as in life. If you disagree with them, please respectfully tell us why. Level-headed debate is good for everyone. If your disagreement stems from simple ignorance or hatred, don't expect to be let off the hook.

Suggestion: A simple phrase can make all the difference in showing that you are disagreeing without being disrespectful. Say "well in my opinion" or "I see what you mean, but...", or "with all due respect." Starting out your response with "well I hardly know how to respond to that steaming pile of sh*t that made up your lame-a$$ argument..." makes it pretty hard to respect the argument that YOU are making.

4) Learn your rights. Please. I'm begging you. You don't have the right to write anything you want on this website. There is no "gray area" about it. A private website like JSH can, and does, regulate what you are allowed to type in the forums. The freedom of speech clause does not extend into the private realm, it is solely concerning your relationship with the government. I could go on and on with this one.

Suggestion: As with politics, it is great to see so many people taking a passionate stand on issues of freedom and rights...but please do not rush in and tell everyone else that they're wrong if you are using an opinionated argument rather than a fact-based argument. A lot of politics and governmental law is fluid and based on interpretation, but there are some basic principles which are black or white. Knowing them before declaring everyone else incompetent would be constructive.

5) Rating. If you are going to get offended by someone giving you less than a 10, then please do not submit your profile for public rating. Too many people write "BE HONEST!!!" and then get overly defensive and tell you off if you write something which expresses an honest opinion of the impression you got from their profile. Do you want feedback, or not? As for feedback...writing "10000000 " is about the most inane response you could possibly have.

Suggestion: Try giving some actual honest feedback. Although many of us use this site just for the forums, technically it's about attracting people for dating (or friends obviously) so you'd like to make sure that your profile is attractive and gives an appropriate representation of who you are. It's only fair to honestly tell them how they come off in the profile.
Maybe there should be a new forum topic: "Feel good rating: For everyone who just wants to hear that they're beautiful and awesome and perfect!"

6) Humility. No one on here is perfect, especially me. This "letter" isn't supposed to be an indictment of people on this site while I sit back and think that I'm flawless. I'm sure that there is a very long list of things that I've done here (including breaking these suggestions!) which really make people's blood boil, and for that I apologize. Unfortunately, because there is so much non-communicative anger or sugar coated niceness used instead of honest feedback, I don't often know what those annoyances are. Hence, I can't change them. This post isn't supposed to give the impression that I dislike the people who act in these ways, it simply means that I dislike the ways in which they go about expressing themselves. That's an opinion, and I don't claim that it's infallible. However, I do think that clearer communication would help provoke better discussions on this site, as well as reduce the drama.

If you've made it this far, you're probably thinking that I'm a grouchy little ba$tard with only pessimistic things to say. Untrue! Here's a quick blurb of things I love about this site:

Overall everyone is very respectful and extremely empathetic. The willingness of people on this site to reach out to help others is inspiring. There are more hilarious people here than I've ever met before in my life, and at times I have been reading posts with tears running down my cheeks because of how damn funny everyone is here. I've learned a TON from these forums...about everything from politics to family relationships, and most importantly I've learned that no matter what age you are in life, you are capable of being downright hilarious, smart, and just plain cool! The connections I have made with people entirely outside my generation have been eye opening.

So really, I'm not pointing out particular users, and I'm serious when I say that I don't carry a grudge. I just needed to put that out there! Cheers everybody!

(PS If you send me hate mail about this post and it includes baseless anger and unsupported arguments...you'd only be proving my point. )

someone was bored

WOW!!! THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY.
AND THE FACT THAT I HOPE I AM NOT ONE OF THE ABOVE MENTIONED.

Oooo you're going to be the target of some unkind remarks now.

How DARE you suggest the posters here are anything less than perfect specimens!!

Its too long to read! My head hurts...

This coming from someone who told me to faux myself???





Faux= definition of faux is fake (such as fake fur or diamonds)

must slow be at office. no work you for?

I couldn't do it I only got to the typo part then I was done.....

Bravo!! I actually did read the whole thing and I agree with everything that you have said.

way too long to read, my sentiments are take what you want and leave the rest....the posters will post at will, you have no control over that

u guys already got something in common

Lol oh geez did you think you had to define it for me? Hahaha I was going for the play on words last night.

Jtip - It's my last day at this job and it's actually not slow at all unfortunately. Just some of that stuff has really been bugging me and no one ever makes any suggestions, they just complain about it.

hellkitten - bravo, your endurance is astounding!

To everyone else - don't worry I didn't expect many people would actually read the whole thing. Who has that kind of attention span anymore, anyway?

Well, I read the whole thing. I wasn't bothered by it. Well written, thought out, and honest of the "you" of you.

Pretty good job all in all(in my opinion.)

If there is one thing I have learned on these sites is that we can and do learn more and better ways to communicate to others. As well as relearn to spell correctly and communicate objectively. Though some will never learn diplomacy.

Kat

Here Soxfan94 have some coffee, put up your feet, relax, think good thoughts...

Good now that all that is out of your system, do you feel better?

On the serious side, I agree, we all have to agree to disagree while respecting our fellow jsh'rs.

WOW! How long have you been holding that in?

Need a hug? Or how about a

shhhhh - didn't want anyone else to know but I did read the whole thing. Well written and great points....especially #1.....that's a pet peeve of mine.

Just don't let anyone know I read it.

ppl make me giggle

I do! I do! I read it all.. My car is at the shop and I'm stuck here...

But Sox- I think you are a bright young man. I think bright enough to know you're preaching to the choir... as in the people who read your post in its entirety are not your audience...

That said, we all make mistakes and I agree it's frustrating at times to read ill conceived and poorly thought out posts. As much as it is when we realize, after the fact of course, we are the ones making them. This is not, at all, to say your thread fits this. I agree with you. And commend you for voicing your solution, for they say not complain about a prolem without suggesting a potential solution.

Now, I think I'm going to go add you to my friends list....

jtip - the secret is safe. bobbity boobity.

franshade - oddly enough, I don't feel much better. It's sort of a catch-22 I think, since the people that I'm hoping to explain this to are also the types who will write this post off as "stupid blabbering" and "whiny complaining". All it will really do it reconfirm these notions with people who already know them, haha. But really I'm not in a bad mood and I'm not a pessimistic person!

Estrella - Thanks, I'll take a bourbon and lime with 2 shots of Soco, as well as the hug. In that order.


Lol - lilith you wrote exactly what I was saying to franshade.

Sox... might I suggest putting these thoughts intermittantly in other threads in short sentences, filled with misspellings and double negatives?