Glibness and Superficial Charm


Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.


Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."


Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.


Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.


Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.


Incapacity for Love


Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.


Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.


Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.


Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.


Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.


Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.


Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.


Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

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Other Related Qualities:

Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
Authoritarian
Secretive
Paranoid
Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
Conventional appearance
Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
Incapable of real human attachment to another
Unable to feel remorse or guilt
Extreme narcissism and grandiose
May state readily that their goal is to rule the world

NOTE: In the 1830's this disorder was called "moral insanity." By 1900 it was changed to "psychopathic personality." More recently it has been termed "antisocial personality disorder" in the DSM-III and DSM-IV. Some critics have complained that, in the attempt to rely only on 'objective' criteria, the DSM has broadened the concept to include too many individuals. The APD category includes people who commit illegal, immoral or self-serving acts for a variety of reasons and are not necessarily psychopaths.

Whew have met a few of them in my lifetime

Wow! Reading your posts, you sure know how to pick 'em!

Doesn't she though that is why she is so respected and loved around here

not quite sure how to take that one

My point exactly

alot of abuse type threads going on....so i posted this to make a point to one of my responses on it

Amen to that MadamX.....

Same here.

Gosh now I'm REALLY ready for the day

I used to post threads like this one quite often on another site I'm a regular on. It tends to create a bit of a "lynch mob" mentality or frenzy, I learned. So, even though it is helpful and needed, I tend not to anymore these days.

Sad part is, there is such a fine line between what is normal and what is not that it is almost impossible to tell one of these - the "smarter ones" - from someone who just has a bit of excessive ego going on. Heck, even top experts in the field of forensic psychology have been fooled on occasion. So, for most individuals who cross paths with a sociopath once or twice, please cut yourself a break. There is no way you could have really known or prevented it.

Now, for those who tend to have a pattern of attraction for these, it is an entirely different matter. There is no "cookie-cutter" reason. The reasons and relationship dynamics are as individual as the people involved. I also truly believe that some people are just hard-wired to attract and be attracted to each other, outside of any past history of trauma and/or abuse they might have experienced or witnessed.

Be well.

People flipidly say they have had them in their past, a true sociopath is what madam said, my ex was one, and is now in prision. You wouldn't flipidly say you knew one, if you really knew one. A sociopath isn't going to randomly be mean on the internet, they want everyone to like them, and they almost always succeed. They never want to look like the bad guy, they always leave that elbow room, mostly play the victim. They don't use harsh words publically, only privately, where it can't be proven.

Trust me I know a thing or two about sociopaths.

That's frightening!

yep

you just helped me so much..for once im not being sarcastic.Thanks

I think I dated one of them. He had to go before I got in too deep, that was for sure

You nailed it MadamX...

the reason i posted it is sad...but true.

most preditors as i call them prey on the lonely....they ASSUME that by being on a date site, you are lonely.

they go after the meek and mild, the ones with low self esteem, etc....they charm them, crawl under their skin so to speak...once they have the victim hooked...LOOK OUT!!!

ive been there, done that, please do not get your own tee shirt, borrow mine!!!!

ive been reading alot of threads lately that puts me in mind of it....now i need to listen to my own damn advice!!!!!!!