Topic: Sex and minors
daniel48706's photo
Wed 02/13/08 10:09 AM
first, as was said in either this post or a couple others, teenagers are going to do what they want to do no matter what you do, in the end. Also, i think we all agree that we are talking about the general case of two teenagers here, one being over eighteen and one being under. When you are only talking about a few years between the two teens, you can NOT hold one to a higher standard than the other. because they ARE young, and they ARE susceptable to peer pressure, you can NOT tell an eighteen or nineteen year old that he is going to be branded as a sex predator, and have to file as one for the rest of his life, because he slept with his 16 or 17 year old girlfriend. And considering it WAS "legal" until they turned eighteen, then wth? your older so it is now illegal? that just does not make any sense. Also keep in ind, and eighteen year old IS legally an adult, yes but by law he is not enough of an adult to buy alcohol. He is considered too immature at eighteen to drink responsibly. In my opinion the same thing can be said about sex and a sixteen year old which is WHY, thank god, most states do put the age of consent around sixteen.

Now to answer a question about how I will be raising my children... They are currently seven and five, so I have not really had too much of a chance to talk with them yet. However, I will talk with them whenever they ask me any type of question no matter what the question is, or how uncomfortable I am.
Also, both boys know that I expect them to behave responsibly, and to accept the actions of whatever they choose to do wether it is sex or not. My seven year old already knows that I personally will require him to get a job and continue on with high school (or night school as long as he gets his diploma) if he becomes a daddy before completeng school. He knows that he will have to help provide money and care for the child he helped create. And, I will know the parents of anyone he dates (as much as possible, kids being kids lol), and provide what support I can, having the baby live with us as much as possible to make sure that the child is cared for without becoming such a burden that both parents (of the baby) are unable to continue on with their schoolwork etc. As far as I am concerned, there isno punishment I can give or suggest that would be able to teach our children better, than requiring that they face any consequences of their choices.

Oh, and yes if my son and his girlfriend were to want to give the child up for adoption, I would support the idea completely. I would probably even have to think long and hard about adopting the baby myself, in order to keep him/her in the family.

Neither one of my sons are quite old enough yet for em to sit down and talk to them about safe sex, and condoms and such. However, we will be having "the talk" before they hit puberty, and they will be as knowledgeable on the subject as I can have them be. I will also be keeping a bowl of condoms available on the bathroom counter, all different kinds, shapes, flavors etc. so that my boys can play with them (while they are young) and get to where they are comfortable with them and not embarrassed or shy to use one if they DO decide to have sex. I will keep that bowl stocked at all times with no questions asked. They will know that I do not agree with them having sex, but they will also know that I understand I can not prevent it, and want them to be safe and responsible.

franshade's photo
Wed 02/13/08 10:35 AM

first, as was said in either this post or a couple others, teenagers are going to do what they want to do no matter what you do, in the end. Also, i think we all agree that we are talking about the general case of two teenagers here, one being over eighteen and one being under. When you are only talking about a few years between the two teens, you can NOT hold one to a higher standard than the other.


I dont agree regardless of how many years difference, the law does recognize 18 as an adult, and 16 is still a minor. Yes the ADULT should be held accountable, he is expected to know the difference btwn right and wrong, a legal and illegal act.


Just because they ARE young, and they ARE susceptable to peer pressure, you can NOT tell an eighteen or nineteen year old that he is going to be branded as a sex predator, and have to file as one for the rest of his life, because he slept with his 16 or 17 year old girlfriend.


Why make exceptions - the law was broken.


nu2topcat's photo
Wed 02/13/08 10:46 AM
bull, the law kept me from porking under age girls, a few i even cared for, if they were old enough we screwed, if not no way, that is the problem now days, no accountability, look the other way. in my day your azz went to jail, we need to go back to that and these punk kids would not be so punk!!!

daniel48706's photo
Wed 02/13/08 10:50 AM


first, as was said in either this post or a couple others, teenagers are going to do what they want to do no matter what you do, in the end. Also, i think we all agree that we are talking about the general case of two teenagers here, one being over eighteen and one being under. When you are only talking about a few years between the two teens, you can NOT hold one to a higher standard than the other.


I dont agree regardless of how many years difference, the law does recognize 18 as an adult, and 16 is still a minor. Yes the ADULT should be held accountable, he is expected to know the difference btwn right and wrong, a legal and illegal act.


Just because they ARE young, and they ARE susceptable to peer pressure, you can NOT tell an eighteen or nineteen year old that he is going to be branded as a sex predator, and have to file as one for the rest of his life, because he slept with his 16 or 17 year old girlfriend.


Why make exceptions - the law was broken.


you right the law was broken
it is illegal for an eighteen year old to sleep with his fifteen year old girlfriend (most places). However, the guy alone is not guilty. So is the girl. It is just as illegal for the fifteen year old girl (or boy) to sleep with an 18 year old sweetheart. So both should be held accountable.

A fifteen year old can be tried as an adult for murder, so there is no reason they can not be held accountable for having illegal sex. And when a law has been broken then the parents of the minor child are no longer in authority, it becomes a matter for the civil servants (police, lawyers, etc.).

I am not trying to insult anyone here, and I am not trying to make a joke. This is just plain simple truth.

franshade's photo
Wed 02/13/08 10:52 AM

bull, the law kept me from porking under age girls, a few i even cared for, if they were old enough we screwed, if not no way, that is the problem now days, no accountability, look the other way. in my day your azz went to jail, we need to go back to that and these punk kids would not be so punk!!!

wtg im w/u flowerforyou

daniel48706's photo
Wed 02/13/08 10:55 AM
Edited by daniel48706 on Wed 02/13/08 10:56 AM
what about the "punks", that picked someone up at a club whom they (rightly so) thought were of age, and found out the girl had snuck
into the bar and lied about her age?


And don't anyone dare try and tell me this doesn't happen. It happens way too often. And we all also know that we used to do the very same thing.

franshade's photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:00 AM

you right the law was broken. it is illegal for an eighteen year old to sleep with his fifteen year old girlfriend (most places). However, the guy alone is not guilty. So is the girl. It is just as illegal for the fifteen year old girl (or boy) to sleep with an 18 year old sweetheart. So both should be held accountable.


Under the law - the one that broke the law was the ADULT (regardless of whether it's the male/female). Doesnt matter if the younger (minor) person consented or not, the adult is responsible. Why is this so hard to swallow? Why try and make excuses or look for loopholes or try to validate an opinion?


A fifteen year old can be tried as an adult for murder, so there is no reason they can not be held accountable for having illegal sex.

My laymans definitions

Murder - when a person knowingly and intentionally takes the life of another.

Statutory rape - It’s a crime committed when an adult has sexual intercourse with a minor.


I am not trying to insult anyone here, and I am not trying to make a joke. This is just plain simple truth.


Not the truth, but your opinion (I respect that) flowerforyou

franshade's photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:02 AM
Notice how murder has no age restriction yet statutory rape does?

nu2topcat's photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:05 AM
after reading so many of these posts i can surely understand why this country is so f*ucked up. i am trying not to be disrespectful but jesus what a crock of crap!! if you spank your kid its child abuse, mental abuse for yelling when they kicked the dog and brole his leg. get a grip America, this country is sh*t becuase we do not disapline or hold our kids OR adults accountable, i can't figure out why so many people want to come here it sucks. no dam wonder taxes are out of control, and not a single person worth a crap to vote for. and these punk kids are going to make it all better when they dont know right from wrong because you didnt want to offend them?? sure am glad i wont be here. but i am sorry for my kids who know the differance, i wonder how many grandparents and greatgrandparents have been flipping over in their graves wondering why they made so many sacrfices??? this new world makes me sick!!

no photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:06 AM

Under the law - the one that broke the law was the ADULT (regardless of whether it's the male/female). Doesnt matter if the younger (minor) person consented or not, the adult is responsible. Why is this so hard to swallow? Why try and make excuses or look for loopholes or try to validate an opinion?


OK, kinda off topic here a little. But just wanted to make a single point since this was brought out, because this statement above is TRUE.

My single point would be, 18 is therefore clearly stated to be an "adult". So why not lower the legal drinking age to 18!!?? At 18 everyone is "considered" an "adult, held by the "law" to be an "adult", can go and die in a war for thier country as an "adult"...but can;t go buy beer til they are 21.

What "justification" is that??? flowerforyou

daniel48706's photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:07 AM
Edited by daniel48706 on Wed 02/13/08 11:12 AM
you can not state that it is wrong for an eighteen year old and a fifteen year old to sleep together and then say it is all the eighteen year olds fault. That takes all responsibility away from the fifteen year old. I am sorry, but the fifteen year old knows it is against the law. Now, if the child in question was say 9 or ten, we would have a different isue, because no nine and ten years olds (normally) can NOT be held accountable by the law. However, fifteen year olds DO know they can not legally consent to have sex, just like they know they can not legally shoplift. So if they choose to do so, they are by definition breaking the law, and thus have to be accountable by the law, just like anyone else.
If you remove the consequences, then the fifteen year old is going to literally grow up thinking they can do whatever they want and not get held accountable.

nu2topcat's photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:08 AM
when i was 18 you could

franshade's photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:08 AM
Absolutely no justification - government trying to maintain control - I agree.

However, since 18 is the legal age (in most states) I still say they are accountable/responsible for their actions, especially if it includes a minor. :wink:

nu2topcat's photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:09 AM
but it was abused and MADD got involved

nu2topcat's photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:11 AM
they do now thats why so much violence in schools no accountability, carry a gun so what!!

franshade's photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:13 AM

you can not state that it is wrong for an eighteen year old and a fifteen year old to sleep together and then say it is all the eighteen year olds fault. That takes all responsibility away from the fifteen year old. I am sorry, but the fifteen year old knows it is against the law. Being under age does not remove any guilt, or responsibility. fifteen year olds know they can not legally consent to have sex, just like they know the can not legally shoplift. So if they choose to do so, they are by definition breaking the law, and thus have to be accountable by the law, just like anyone else.
If you remove the consequences, then the fifteen year old is going to literally grow up thinking they can do whatever they want and not get held accountable.

I dont have to state it, IT'S THE LAW! Read my laymans interpretation of the law, the LAW recognizes the ADULT to be the responsible party.

Thats how most of our youths are brought up nowadays, always being told of ways to try and get around things, instead of facing the consequences.

It is ILLEGAL for an 18 yr old (or older) to have SEX with minor (under 16 in most states). Short and sweet, that is the LAW.

thanks for being so gracious and respectful while we agree to disagree flowerforyou

nu2topcat's photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:14 AM
bottem line, socity today is too permissive. that is the main problem, fix that and many, not all, of the younger generations problems would fade away!!

daniel48706's photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:15 AM

Absolutely no justification - government trying to maintain control - I agree.

However, since 18 is the legal age (in most states) I still say they are accountable/responsible for their actions, especially if it includes a minor. :wink:


Actually if I remember correctly (from a 20/20 special) most states the legal age of consent is NOT 18 but sixteen.
And a fifteen year old (as an example) is still legally accountable in court if they break the law. Which means they need to share the punishment of having sex when they were not LEGALLY old enough to make that decision.
They are old enough (in most cases) to know right from wrong, legal from illegal, which is why they CAN be punished in a court of law.

franshade's photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:15 AM

bottem line, socity today is too permissive. that is the main problem, fix that and many, not all, of the younger generations problems would fade away!!

I agree set boundaries and limitations - dont let them run amock and w/o supervision.


franshade's photo
Wed 02/13/08 11:15 AM
or guidance