MY BOYFRIEND APPLICATION


IN ORDER TO HAVE A CHANCE WITH ME YOU NEED TO FILLOUT THIS APPLICATION WITH COMPLETE HONESTY.




NAME:


AGE:


DO YOU DRIVE:


WHAT TYPE OF CAR:


DO YOU HAVE A JOB;


DOES IT PAY WELL:


WHERE DO YOU GO ON A FIRST DATE:


DO YOU KISS ON A FIRST DATE:


IF SO DO YOU LIKE THE LONG OVER THE LIPS TYPE OF KISS OR THE FULL TONGUE LETS HAVE SEX TYPE OF KISS?




HOW MANY SEXUAL PARTNERS HAVE YOU HAD IN THE PAST?


IF YOU HAD SEX IN THE PAST DID YOU USE PROTECTION?


HAVE YOU EVER ENCOUNTERED IN ANY SEXUAL PLEASURE WITH THE SAME SEX? IF SO PLEASE REFRAME YOURSELF FROM FILLING OUT THE REST OF THE APPLICATION.


HAVE YOU EVER WENT DOWN ON A GIRL BEFORE?


IF SO ARE YOU GOOD AT IT?


DO YOU HAVE ANY REFERENCES TO BACK THAT UP?


HAVE YOU EVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND

ABOUT HOW LONG DO YOUR RELATIONSHIPS LAST?


LETS PRETEND..... I HAVE ABOYFRIEND ( WELL NOW I DO BUT LETS SAY I REALLY DIDNT )..... AND U KNEW ABOUT HIM AND I WANTED TO HOOK UP WITH YOU WUT WOULD YOU DO??? AND SAY TO ME???


NOW LETS SAY WE WERE TOGETHER AND I CHEATED ON YOU WHAT WOULD U DO IF U FOUND OUT ABOUT IT???


ITS OUR SPECIAL DAY AND WUT DO U PLAN ON DOING...?


I TELL YOU I LUV U BUT .... YOU DONT FEEL THE SAME.. DO U TELL ME?? OR WUT DO U TELL ME??


IF IM NOT READY FOR SEX WOULD U STAY WITH ME?

WTF?

you are high maintenance.....im out

yeah ok they have a website for surveys its called myspace.....this is JMO

lord girl, you'll be on this site forever at that rate lol jk

Do you fill this out after the first date

I can't understand why no-one has snatched you up!!

gee wiz!!!!!!!! Do I need a car and all the other materialistic things in this day in age to win over a chick!

LOL

a car is usually a good thing

I ride a bike????

not sure about a chick...perhaps a bag of feed as most barnyard animals prefer...but a woman, a car comes in handy

wow...damn...it was just a joke...hehe

Whats up?

Nothing much - what's up with you

Dating on horseback sux if it rains

MY BOYFRIEND APPLICATION

IN ORDER TO HAVE A CHANCE WITH ME YOU NEED TO FILLOUT THIS APPLICATION WITH COMPLETE HONESTY.

NAME:

>>>MOOFOOGA.

AGE:

>>>35.

DO YOU DRIVE:

>>>DUH...

WHAT TYPE OF CAR:

>>>A PICKEMUP TRUCK.

DO YOU HAVE A JOB;

>>>WHY YES... FUNNILY ENOUGH.

DOES IT PAY WELL:

>>>IT WOULD SEEM SO.

WHERE DO YOU GO ON A FIRST DATE:

>>>MONSTER TRUCK COMPETITION.

DO YOU KISS ON A FIRST DATE:

>>>DEPENDS ON IF SHE'S GONNA HIT ME ON THE HEAD WITH A BEER BOTTLE.

IF SO DO YOU LIKE THE LONG OVER THE LIPS TYPE OF KISS OR THE FULL TONGUE LETS HAVE SEX TYPE OF KISS?

>>>HAVE TO SAY THE FORMER- DON'T LIKE TONGUES JAMMED DOWN MY THROAT ON THE FIRST DATE.

HOW MANY SEXUAL PARTNERS HAVE YOU HAD IN THE PAST?

>>>MORE THAN ONE... LESS THAN FIVE-HUNDRED.

IF YOU HAD SEX IN THE PAST DID YOU USE PROTECTION?

>>>OF COURSE- THAT BODY ARMOR COMES IN HANDY, YOU KNOW.

HAVE YOU EVER ENCOUNTERED IN ANY SEXUAL PLEASURE WITH THE SAME SEX? IF SO PLEASE RE-FRAME YOURSELF FROM FILLING OUT THE REST OF THE APPLICATION.

>>> UH... NO.

HAVE YOU EVER WENT DOWN ON A GIRL BEFORE?

>>>HAVE TO PLEAD THE FIFTH ON THAT ONE.

IF SO ARE YOU GOOD AT IT?

>>>YOU'D HAVE TO ASK HER THAT.

DO YOU HAVE ANY REFERENCES TO BACK THAT UP?

>>>AGAIN... THE FIFTH.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND?

>>>YES. TWO OF THEM, IN FACT. ONE MOVED AWAY (SO SAD... *SNIFF*), THE OTHER WAS VIOLENT AND HAD TO BE SHOT...ER... DUMPED.

ABOUT HOW LONG DO YOUR RELATIONSHIPS LAST?

>>>THAT WOULD DEPEND ON IF SHE'S VIOLENT OR NOT.

LETS PRETEND..... I HAVE A BOYFRIEND ( WELL NOW I DO BUT LETS SAY I REALLY DIDN'T )..... AND U KNEW ABOUT HIM AND I WANTED TO HOOK UP WITH YOU WUT WOULD YOU DO??? AND SAY TO ME???

>>>"WHILE I DO APPRECIATE THE ATTENTION AND THE OFFER, I MUST REFUSE, AS I COULD NEVER BREAK UP AN ALREADY-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP, WHICH IS SOMETHING YOU HAVE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND", MEANING I WOULD VAMOOSE OUTTA THERE LIKE THE DEVIL HERSELF WERE AFTER ME.

NOW LETS SAY WE WERE TOGETHER AND I CHEATED ON YOU WHAT WOULD U DO IF U FOUND OUT ABOUT IT???

>>>FIRST OFFENSE... A TALKING TO. SECOND OFFENSE... A SPANKING. THIRD OFFENSE... THE BRICKS.

ITS OUR SPECIAL DAY AND WUT DO U PLAN ON DOING...?

>>>MONSTER TRUCK COMPETITION OR A TRIP TO A PART OF THE WORLD THAT HAS MONSTER TRUCK COMPETITIONS.

I TELL YOU I LUV U BUT .... YOU DONT FEEL THE SAME.. DO U TELL ME?? OR WUT DO U TELL ME??

>>>I SAY, "LOOK! OVER THERE! KITTENS!!!" AND DIVERT ATTENTION AWAY FROM THE TOPIC AT HAND.

IF IM NOT READY FOR SEX WOULD U STAY WITH ME?

>>>OF COURSE. WHAT DO YOU THINK 'ROOFIES' ARE FOR? LOL

lmfao