Ya ..... and world peace is just around the corner too

First off, not all guys lie... I never lie to those I date. I know Id rather know the truth, even if it hurts me, so I always tell the truth because that's what I would want. And as for the calling thing...I call every time I say I will. And if for some reason I cant, Ill txt or call really quick just to say Ill call later.

But here is a question for the ladies. Why is it so many girls want a nice guy, but when they get them, they find them overwhelming or something. The last girl I dated actually COMPLAINED when I called when I said I would. She wasnt use to guys calling, so it caught her off gaurd and told me it was going to take her a while to "adjust"...

First I agree that not all guys lie (I'm one of them who doesn't.) 2nd, I agree that many women lie about things too. Like age, fake pictures, what they have. 3rd... to answer your questions:

A: No experience with this, but they probably want to make themselves sound important to impress a girl. I mean if you work at McDonalds but you're the manager, it's not a lie to say you're the manager of a company that employs thousands of people and is socially responsible. It's like talking yourself up on a resume.

B: Not sure what you mean about what they have. If you mean a house or car, again they're trying to impress you, or they're playing games.

C: Saying you'll call sounds a lot better than "Ya know, this date really sucked. Have a great life." At the same time, sometimes you might plan on calling someone the next day, and something comes up. Or maybe change your mind and decide that you can't accept something about the other person. I know women don't know anything about changing their minds.

D: Well if you were married and trying to get some, would you tell the other person? I say this as a joke, but unfortunately that really is messed up. I've never known anyone to do that. But I'm sure there are men out there who do that. Likewise though, I'll say that there are women who go for men with rings because they figure they're a good catch.

I believe in being completely honest on here. I see no point in pretending to be someone I'm not to impress someone I don't know. But both men and women lie about many things. But my profile is accurate, and that picture is of me (if I was lying, I think I would have picked a better picture)

Ok this new thread is for all my girly friends out there.

Ok this is a dating site....right

And Men and Women come to look for their perfect partner or relationship......right

And since I am married, I am not in the mix.....but here is my beef from talking to countless girlfriends who have gone through this and I just don't get it...

So maybe a few of the real men can answer this.


WHY ALL THE LYING, WHY ALL THE DECEIT

Why do men

a. lie about jobs?

b. lie about what they have?

c. lie about calling?
(because they never do when they say they are going to)

d. lie about being married?


WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF COMING ON A DATING SITE TO FIND YOUR SOULMATE AND THEN JUST LIE ABOUT EVERYTHING....

This really needs to be answered.......

Ok sister here goes... Some men are deceitful because they try to impress women with what they have like cars houses or their anatomy. But the truth will always come out. I personaly do not care what a man does for a living or what type of car he owns. What does impress me is that he is clean, respectful and does work. I think funny is good too. And last but not least be truthful and a woman will like you for you.

Here are my responses.....


(A). Lie about jobs? Cause men want to seem like they have there whole career mapped out, and they want the lady to see that they are success. Guys just have this insecurity when it comes to jobs. I mean, I am a blue collar guy. That is me. I make a good living. I am proud of it. Why say I am a doctor? I mean, the lie will eventually be seen. Still, guys will say there are something they aren't cause they wanna "LOOK" impressive. In our minds, we feel that if a lady sees that a guy who is good looking and he is a "surgeon" then they will be all over it. In our minds, we want to give off the impression that we can do what we want for a lady. Take out to a nice resteraunt. Or something fancy. We just feel if we say the truth then no chick will talk to us. Fact is, if you lie, a woman will like the lie and then you have to show the real you and you ruin it.

(B). Lie about what they have? Again, it is all about coming off impressive. Guy says he has this nice boat, he feels women will flock to him. Hell, he will even have a pic of it (probably a friends boat). We want to seem as if we have accumulated possessions because if you can see it (or you see what you think we have) then you will feel that "Hey. This guy has alot and can take care of me.". That is the thought pattern anyways. Truth is, possessions don't mean sh*t. Women, most anyways, could care less about what we have. They want a relationship with the man. Not his toys. Still, we are all macho men and we feel we need to show off.

(C). Lie about calling? What? You don't believe my dog ate my phone and that Wal Mart refuses to sell me another one? Simple answer here....they never planned to call. Easy to say you will call, then you don't, and then you get a text or email asking why you never did, and the answer is usually "Been very busy.". Bottom line...they never planned on calling.

(D). Lie about being married? Cause they are not happy in there marriage and they really want someone on the side. Guys hate divorcing cause it usually means they lose there ass in court. Hey, it is the honest truth. That and they want there cake and eat it too. I mean, you get some from your wife and your secret lover. Win-win right? I don't agree with this, but I know it is why most guys (who are married) come here looking for.

Here are my responses.....


(A). Lie about jobs? Cause men want to seem like they have there whole career mapped out, and they want the lady to see that they are success. Guys just have this insecurity when it comes to jobs. I mean, I am a blue collar guy. That is me. I make a good living. I am proud of it. Why say I am a doctor? I mean, the lie will eventually be seen. Still, guys will say there are something they aren't cause they wanna "LOOK" impressive. In our minds, we feel that if a lady sees that a guy who is good looking and he is a "surgeon" then they will be all over it. In our minds, we want to give off the impression that we can do what we want for a lady. Take out to a nice resteraunt. Or something fancy. We just feel if we say the truth then no chick will talk to us. Fact is, if you lie, a woman will like the lie and then you have to show the real you and you ruin it.

(B). Lie about what they have? Again, it is all about coming off impressive. Guy says he has this nice boat, he feels women will flock to him. Hell, he will even have a pic of it (probably a friends boat). We want to seem as if we have accumulated possessions because if you can see it (or you see what you think we have) then you will feel that "Hey. This guy has alot and can take care of me.". That is the thought pattern anyways. Truth is, possessions don't mean sh*t. Women, most anyways, could care less about what we have. They want a relationship with the man. Not his toys. Still, we are all macho men and we feel we need to show off.

(C). Lie about calling? What? You don't believe my dog ate my phone and that Wal Mart refuses to sell me another one? Simple answer here....they never planned to call. Easy to say you will call, then you don't, and then you get a text or email asking why you never did, and the answer is usually "Been very busy.". Bottom line...they never planned on calling.

(D). Lie about being married? Cause they are not happy in there marriage and they really want someone on the side. Guys hate divorcing cause it usually means they lose there ass in court. Hey, it is the honest truth. That and they want there cake and eat it too. I mean, you get some from your wife and your secret lover. Win-win right? I don't agree with this, but I know it is why most guys (who are married) come here looking for.

Here are my responses.....


(A). Lie about jobs? Cause men want to seem like they have there whole career mapped out, and they want the lady to see that they are success. Guys just have this insecurity when it comes to jobs. I mean, I am a blue collar guy. That is me. I make a good living. I am proud of it. Why say I am a doctor? I mean, the lie will eventually be seen. Still, guys will say there are something they aren't cause they wanna "LOOK" impressive. In our minds, we feel that if a lady sees that a guy who is good looking and he is a "surgeon" then they will be all over it. In our minds, we want to give off the impression that we can do what we want for a lady. Take out to a nice resteraunt. Or something fancy. We just feel if we say the truth then no chick will talk to us. Fact is, if you lie, a woman will like the lie and then you have to show the real you and you ruin it.

(B). Lie about what they have? Again, it is all about coming off impressive. Guy says he has this nice boat, he feels women will flock to him. Hell, he will even have a pic of it (probably a friends boat). We want to seem as if we have accumulated possessions because if you can see it (or you see what you think we have) then you will feel that "Hey. This guy has alot and can take care of me.". That is the thought pattern anyways. Truth is, possessions don't mean sh*t. Women, most anyways, could care less about what we have. They want a relationship with the man. Not his toys. Still, we are all macho men and we feel we need to show off.

(C). Lie about calling? What? You don't believe my dog ate my phone and that Wal Mart refuses to sell me another one? Simple answer here....they never planned to call. Easy to say you will call, then you don't, and then you get a text or email asking why you never did, and the answer is usually "Been very busy.". Bottom line...they never planned on calling.

(D). Lie about being married? Cause they are not happy in there marriage and they really want someone on the side. Guys hate divorcing cause it usually means they lose there ass in court. Hey, it is the honest truth. That and they want there cake and eat it too. I mean, you get some from your wife and your secret lover. Win-win right? I don't agree with this, but I know it is why most guys (who are married) come here looking for.

My theory -- they don't feel good about some aspect of their lives, and they feel the need to somehow be "better" in order to merit the attention of someone on the site.

In psych terms, it's a standard "inferiority complex" telling them (at least in their own minds) that they have to be better than who/what they are if they want ANYONE to notice, let alone notice enough to actually start liking them.

I've seen this in eight of the nine people I've met on line; the "real" person is someone completely different (and much less "desirable," from a standard societal perspective) than the persona they portrayed on the screen.

And, not to sound harsh, but I can see some justification for those underlying feelings. Not just the eight out of nine I've actually met, either -- but I have seen many, on different websites, whose personae are so obviously artificial that you can get a sort of general idea of who/what they might be like in reality, simply by extrapolating "downwards."

What they don't realize is that they might have a much better chance just being honest from Day One, because not everyone is obsessed with the big house and fancy car they're pretending to own....but superficial people only operate on a superficial level....

I'm at the point where, unless I've been dealing with someone for awhile, and I feel I have some sort of idea of who that person is (and even then, there are no guarantees), I just automatically assume they've exalted themselves at least a bit.

But I tend to be a little cynical anyway....

This is exactly my point.....Because woman and men get so used to the crap that when there is a decent guy or gal they don't even know how to handle it....How truly sad is that....