Cheer Up... Here's Your Horrorscope

AQUARIUS: January 20 - February 18
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and impractical, which causes you to make the same mistake over and over again. People think you are stupid.


PISCES: February 19 - March 20
You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the CIA or FBI. You have a minor influence over your associates and people resent you for flaunting it at peers. You lack confidence and are generally a coward. Pisces people do horrible things to small animals.


ARIES: March 21 - April 19
You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick-tempered, impatient and scornful of advice. You are not very nice.


TAURUS: April 20 - May 20
You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed. You are a communist.


GEMINI: May 21 - June 20
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap. Geminis are known for committing incest.


CANCER: June 21 - July 22
You are sympathetic and understanding toward other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You're always putting things off. That's why you'll never make anything of yourself. Most welfare recipients are Cancers.


LEO: July 23 - August 22
You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and dislike honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leos are known thieves.


VIRGO: August 23 - September 22
You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and sometimes fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers.


LIBRA: September 23 - October 22
You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. Chances for employment and monetary gain are excellent. Most Libra women make good prostitutes. All Libra die of veneral disease.


SCORPIO: October 23 - November 21
You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. Most Scorpios are murdered.


SAGITARIUS: November 22 - December 21
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendancy to rely on luck, since you lack talent. The majority of Sagitarians are drunks or dope fiends. People laugh at you a great deal.


CAPRICORN: December 23 - January 19
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You don't do much of anything and are lazy. There has never been born a Capricorn of any importance. Capricorns should avoid standing still too long, as they tend to root.

I'm libra and so far it's way off lol

I am not employed, nor am I artistic, an I am broke.

I have no interest in sex so venereal disease isn't an issue.

My younger sister is Virgo and hers is way off too

She is not logical, one of the biggest slobs I know, and is usually over emotional

Thanks for posting those though they made for a good read

IM A GEMINI--SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT

im a gemini too, and ill agree lol even though its way off

my ex's is right on sagitarrius
mine is cancer.......it's pretty right

VIRGO: August 23 - September 22
You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and sometimes fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers.

except i do have a job and i'm not on welfare

GEMINI: May 21 - June 20
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap. Geminis are known for committing incest.

speak for urself on GEMINI... that an't me at all.. geez...

Cap....and I dont agree...

but thats a capricorn for you!!

and my ex is a drunk and dope fiend

holy crap that is right on!

Oh my God. I don't think I'll ever tell anyone I am a Leo again!!

VIRGO: August 23 - September 22
You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and sometimes fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers.

OMG so far from the truth it hurts lmao I would make the worst bus driver in town and fall asleep while making love shshshshs you have to have someone to make love to to find out hehhe guaranteed that is one thing I have never done is fall asleep at that time hell last guy left town just to get some rest lmao

ERRRRRRRRR EXCUSE ME I'M A GEMINI..............INCEST? I DONT THINK SO !!

VIRGO: August 23 - September 22
You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and sometimes fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers. LMAO if anyone knows me, well I don't have to answer that

OMG I'm changing my sign

Most Libra women make good prostitutes?

Boy, my vocational guidance counselor was WAY OFF!!

LEO: July 23 - August 22
You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and dislike honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leos are known thieves.


Whoops, ment LEO

Hey Shadow did not realize you were Virgo too heck no wonder we get along so well when is your B-Day?

I posted the wrong one