100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: Raped/Abused Girlfriend.. | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
Only been 2 weeks...She is really nervous...always asking if im mad...is loving and affectionate..but is really unenthusasic...im not sure what to do
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
what??? explain further please.....
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
you need to be her friend
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
be there for her listen to her and show her that ur not a bad person
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
OK..Im dating this girl..She has been raped/abused by earlier boyfriends and is really skidish...
For some reason she is always asking if im mad about random things...she gets mad at ME tho..for the simplest things.. But when we are just sitting around and talking..she is really loving and affectionate...but seems to ask me again..if im upset with her..and if i think we will be ok...and most of the time..she is REALLY unenthusiastic |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
OK..Im dating this girl..She has been raped/abused by earlier boyfriends and is really skidish...
For some reason she is always asking if im mad about random things...she gets mad at ME tho..for the simplest things.. But when we are just sitting around and talking..she is really loving and affectionate...but seems to ask me again..if im upset with her..and if i think we will be ok...and most of the time..she is REALLY unenthusiastic |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
OK..Im dating this girl..She has been raped/abused by earlier boyfriends and is really skidish... For some reason she is always asking if im mad about random things...she gets mad at ME tho..for the simplest things.. But when we are just sitting around and talking..she is really loving and affectionate...but seems to ask me again..if im upset with her..and if i think we will be ok...and most of the time..she is REALLY unenthusiastic you need to ask yourself if you're willing to give her the reassurance she needs... that's what she's askin for when she asks if you're mad at her...reassure her she's not doing anything wrong..but be honest..if she is..then tell her |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Only been 2 weeks...She is really nervous...always asking if im mad...is loving and affectionate..but is really unenthusasic...im not sure what to do Give her time and lots of empathy and understanding. If she hasn't considered counseling for rape or sexual assault, I would gently encourage her to get some. You might consider joining a support group for significant others of rape/sexual assault survivors, as well. Be well. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 To tell us all this about another is to much imformation to begin with when YOU know SHE need ALOT of LOVE, CARE, TENDERNESS, COMPASSION, HONESTY, and that she can COUNT ON YOU TO KEEP HER SECRET'S....
NOW, what was YOUR QUESTION????? 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hmmmmmmmmm raped and abused by her ex bfs???? Meaning she didnt want it and they did anyways????
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
To tell us all this about another is to much imformation to begin with when YOU know SHE need ALOT of LOVE, CARE, TENDERNESS, COMPASSION, HONESTY, and that she can COUNT ON YOU TO KEEP HER SECRET'S....
NOW, what was YOUR QUESTION?????
Because i have never dealt with this before..and every time i post on JSH...i get good helpful results...if you werent sincere on trying to give helpful advice..then why did you reply? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hmmmmmmmmm raped and abused by her ex bfs???? Meaning she didnt want it and they did anyways????
ummm..That would be the idea of rape |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You are going to have to work through this with your girlfriend IF she is willing. I would think seriously if you are up for this relationship because it sounds like she has some major coping to do. You can call a rape crisis hotline and ask them to send you materials for a spouse or partner; you would not be the first that they educated on the subject. Healing from this kind of violence is possible with a loving and supportive partner but it takes time. Good luck.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hmmmmmmmmm raped and abused by her ex bfs???? Meaning she didnt want it and they did anyways????
ummm..That would be the idea of rape 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
well i was and sometimes its just hard to find a guy who wants to help and who you can get you to feel comfortable around even tho you dont feel comfortable in your own skin. to be honest i have friends who make me feel good about me n my life but i have yet to find that guy and the key is to listen and help her feel safe...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
well for one thing, I am a rape survivor, its really hard to get close to someone after that, you always feel like it was your fault, and you are afraid it will happen again, the fact that she is in a relationship with you means she is beginning to trust men again, what you need to do is ask her what she would like for you to do for her and just be considerate.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hmmmmmmmmm raped and abused by her ex bfs???? Meaning she didnt want it and they did anyways????
ummm..That would be the idea of rape it could go farther back than that tho...rape isn't always froma bf |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
well i was and sometimes its just hard to find a guy who wants to help and who you can get you to feel comfortable around even tho you dont feel comfortable in your own skin. to be honest i have friends who make me feel good about me n my life but i have yet to find that guy and the key is to listen and help her feel safe... I Agree wholeheartedly, it really is hard to get into a relationship again, you're afraid it will happen again. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You will also have to be honest with her about your feelings. If sometimes she does bugs you, or the situation your find yourelf in does, you have to say so and let her see that you can dislike something without looseing your temper or leaving her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I wish I could give some good advice, but I obviously screwed up when I tried. Otherwise I'd be with the girl I loved still. All I can advise is lots and lots of patience. And be careful to make it obvious that it's not all about sex.
|
|
|
|
|
